The Adventures of Prince Crawford
by Verie
Summary: (Presenting... The Neko King! XD Latest chapter yet, I do believe.)Brad gets cast as Prince Charming in fairytale, with Schu as his annoying sidekick, an annoying Narrator, a blue censor dot, and a lot of cross-dressing princesses.
1. Farfie as a frog princess hurts DEITY DE...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Brad Crawford opened his eyes slowly. "What happened…?" He wondered aloud, he sat up and noticed immediately that he was no longer in Tokyo. "What the….?" He blinked. 

"Braddie! Yer up!" Schuldich exclaimed, walking over to him. "Where the **_censored_** am I? Wait… what the **_censored_**? … What's with the blue dot?" Brad asked. "Oh, that's the Blue-Censor-Dot." Schuldich said. "… So I'd gathered. What the _censored_ is it doing here?" Brad asked, getting irritated by the bleeping whenever he tried to say something. "Crawfie! You're awake!" Someone exclaimed happily, running over to stand by Schuldich. "Who the _censored_ are you?" Brad asked. "I'm Verie, I'll be your author today." The girl said happily. "… Wha…at?" Brad blinked. "I'm Verie. I'm the author. .. Well, actually I'm the character who is here in representation of the author, but we won't go into that." She said. Brad noticed Schuldich's and Verie's attire. "What's with the get-up? You look like people from Robin Hood or something." Brad said. "Erm.. about that, Bradley," Schuldich said, "You see, you're the prince." "What the **_censored_** are you talking about?" Brad asked. "Ok, we're all in… um… Disneyland," Brad arched an eyebrow, "if you want to call it that. Anyhow, I get to be your sidekick, and you're Prince Charming. Funny, ne?" Schuldich said. "I am not amused." Brad said bluntly. "Yeah well, get your **_censored_** up so we can begin our quest." Schuldich said, helping Brad up. "I still have no idea what the **_censored_** you're talking about." Brad said. "Let me explain. Ok, so I've magically transported you into a strange, incredibly messed up fairy-tale land where everyone is cast as something. You're stereotypical Prince Charming. I'm… the author… that voice that's really annoying that's saying everything we do, that's the Narrator. He's a **_censored_**. But that could be because I hate narrators." Verie said, just as a rock flew out of nowhere and hit her in the face. She glared at the sky and shook her fist angrily. "You'll get yours, Narrator!!!" She yelled, before walking off-screen. 

"This… makes no sense." Brad said, fighting off a migraine. "Sure it does! Now c'mon, we're gonna find some princesses and maybe even a bar. Wouldn't that be awesome, Braddie?" "Don't call me that." Brad grumbled. "Fine. The only reason you got to be the prince is because you look like the stereotypical Prince Charming." Schuldich mumbled. "I do not!" Brad exclaimed defensively. "Sure ya do, you've got the black hair, dark eyes, you're tall…. You wear white…." Schuldich listed. "Shut up!!! I'm not a fairytale character!!! This is copyright infringement! I refuse to take part in this! WHERE'S MY LAWYER?! I'm the property of Kyoko Tsuchiya and Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiß!" Brad exclaimed. "Copyright laws were meant to be broken, Braddie." Schuldich said. "NO THEY AREN'T!" Brad yelled. "Ok, so maybe not. But deal with it. Japanese copyright laws are different than American. In Japan, you can use the characters without any permission and all that happy stuff as long as you don't claim you own them. Fun, ne?" Schuldich asked. "No." Brad grumbled. "The only problem is your glasses. Prince Charming should have perfect eyesight." Schuldich said, grabbing Brad's glasses. "HEY!!!" Brad exclaimed, attempting to get his glasses back. Unfortunately, he couldn't see well enough to figure out which hand Schuldich was holding them in. "**_Censored_** you." Brad grumbled, giving up. "C'mon, Braddie. We've gotta go find a town. With a bar. A nice bar. A bar that doesn't have a giant blue dot over it." Schuldich said, despite the fact that this is supposed to be G rated, so there's no way in **_censored_** he's going to find a bar without a giant blue dot over it. "Shut up, Narrator. I can dream, can't I?" Schuldich asked, even though he can't dream because he needs to get on with the story. "Fine, fine." Schuldich mumbled, walking through the forest dragging Brad by the collar of his expensive armani suit. "Hey! LET GO!" Brad exclaimed. So Schuldich did, allowed Brad to trip over a rock and fall flat on his face. "Tsk tsk tsk… Prince Charming is graceful, Brad. And you just failed the grace test. We're going to have to work on that." Schuldich smirked. "Give me back my glasses before I brutally maim you." Brad mumbled, picking himself up. "Brad, Prince Charming would never brutally maim his best friend!" Schuldich exclaimed. "I'm not Prince Charming, I'm a cold-hearted assassin from a Japanese anime. I'm the VILLAIN in said Japanese anime. Do you understand that?! We're BOTH villains!!! Why can't one of the GOODGUYS be Prince Charming?!" Brad demanded. "Because none of the good guys wear white and have black hair. Duh." Schuldich rolled his eyes. "FOR THE LAST TIME I DON'T LOOK LIKE A DISNEY PRINCE!!!" Brad yelled. "Not with your glasses." Schuldich said. Brad used the Patented Crawford Death Glare™®© on Schuldich. "Brad, that doesn't work without your glasses." Schuldich said. "**_Censored_**!!!" Brad said. "Another thing, Prince Charming doesn't have a foul mouth. That's reserved for his best friend." Schuldich said. "Shut up." Brad mumbled, managing to grab his glasses back from Schuldich while he wasn't paying attention. "Fine, take the stupid things. Fail at being Prince Charming, completely mess up the plot! I don't care! As long as I get to go to a bar, I'm happy." Schuldich said, even though he should already know that there aren't any bars because I already told him thus. "And didn't I tell you to shut up?" Schuldich asked the amazingly cool Narrator. "Amazingly cool my FOOT." Schuldich argued, because he's an idiot. "Ok, that's it! Don't make me come over there!" Schuldich shook his fist angrily. 

After awhile of arguing with the amazingly cool Narrator, our "heroes," if you could call them that, continued on their journey. Soon, they came across a frog. This wasn't just any frog, it was a talking frog. Infact, it was an Irish talking frog with an eyepatch. "Sounds corny." Schuldich said bluntly, because he really needs to shut up. "Let's not get into this again." Brad mumbled. "Hello, Prince Crawford! If you kiss me I'll turn into a **_deity deleted to protect the religious_**-hurting princess!" The frog exclaimed. "… This is a G-rated fairytale?" Brad asked skeptically, glancing at the frog. "… Wait.. aren't you a guy?" Schuldich asked. "Pretending to be a princess hurts **_deity deleted to protect the religious_**." The frog explained. "… … Farfie?" Brad asked in disbelief. The frog nodded. … How a frog might go about doing that, is beyond me. But I'm not the one writing the script, I just read it. So blame Verie for all anatomically incorrect information. "Maybe we should leave before Farfie insults large collections of um… non-**_Anti-deity-type-thing deleted because religious references shouldn't be in fairy tales and stuff_** decided to sue us or something." Brad said. "Does the Blue-Censor-Dot have to be so long winded? Honestly, it shouldn't be so lengthy in its explanations of why it's censoring things." Schuldich blinked. "Leave the dot alone and c'mon." Brad said, walking off. "Right-o!" Schuldich exclaimed, following Brad.   



	2. Sticks and stones may break my bones, bu...

  
  
  
  
  


Soon they came to a large tower. "Hey, look, a large tower!" Schuldich exclaimed, deciding to repeat what I've already said for no apparent reason. "Indeed." 

Brad replied. "I bet there's a princess in there. You see it a lot, she'll lock the door behind her, then she'll accidentally drop the keys out the window and she'll be 

locked in." Schuldich said. "I… see." Brad blinked. "Go check the door, they usually have their name on it so that princes can tell them apart." Schuldich said.   
  
Brad shrugged and walked over to the door. "Princess Ran/Aya of Eartails…?" He read in bewilderment. "What the **_censored_**'s an eartail?" Brad asked. 

"Ridiculously long side-burns." Schuldich replied. "… Peachy." Brad sighed. Princess Ran/Aya looked out the window. "Oh! A Prince!" She exclaimed happily. 

"Wait a second…. Abyssinian?!" Brad exclaimed suddenly, realizing that the princess was none-other than his arch-nemesis Ran/Aya Fujimiya! .. Who just happens 

to be a guy. "Haha! You're RIGHT! It is him!" Schuldich exclaimed sadistically, falling to the ground and laughing his head off. "CRAWFORD! Shi-NE!" Ran 

exclaimed, throwing his katana out the window, aiming for Brad. Brad easily sidestepped, and so the sword flew deep into the forest where it imbedded itself into a 

rock. "You should stop throwing that thing at me, really. See? Now you've gone and lost it. You should've learned your lesson the time you threw that thing at me 

while I was in the helicopter." Brad shook his head solemnly. "Shi-NE!" Ran yelled. Brad sighed. "Yeah, yeah. 'Die' I've got it. Think about getting a new catch 

phrase, it'll give you something to do while you're up there. Ta." Brad said, walking off. "SHI-NE CRAWFORD! SHI-NE! WHAT'D YOU DO WITH MY 

SISTER?!" Ran demanded. "I didn't do anything with your sister! Stop blaming everything on me!" Brad yelled back, and thus he and Schuldich walked off to find the sword Ran threw, seeing as how they didn't have any weapons or anything. 

No sooner had Brad finished his statement, than a small boy named Omi Tsukiyono walked up and easily removed the sword from the rock. The peasants oo-ed 

and ah-ed like the nameless bit parts that they are, while Omi jumped up and down triumphantly. "Yoink!" Schuldich exclaimed, grabbing the sword and holding it 

out of the boy's reach. "Hey! No fair!" The boy whined. "Life isn't fair, kid. Plus, this isn't your sword. … It's not mine either, but that's beside the point. You might 

hurt yourself. Leave this up to the professionals." Schuldich said, handing the sword to Brad. "Uncle! They stole my sword!" Omi whined. 

In an overly dramatic show of sparks and shiny things, Schuichi Takatori (previously deceased), appeared out of nowhere. "Give my nephew back his sword!" He   
exclaimed, waving a wand. "Hey, this sword was thrown at my head, I think I'm entitled to it." Brad said. Schuichi waved his wand, which emitted more shiny things 

and sparks. "… … Corny Disney animation." Brad shook his head solemnly. Schuichi gave up casting a spell and threw the pretty much useless stick at Brad's head.   
"OW! Hey!" Brad exclaimed. By this time the peasants had gotten angry (one of the few things peasants are good for), and had magically produced pitchforks and 

torches out of nowhere (one of the few talents of peasants). Thus the town revolted and proceeded to chase Prince Crawford and his annoying sidekick Schuldich 

from the town.   



	3. Evading the blue censor dot is EVIL

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


After successfully out-running the townspeople, Brad and Schuldich continued their journey. "Hey, I heard there was going to be an evil witch-typish-thing over in this kingdom." Schuldich pointed at the map. "That map's upside down." Brad mumbled. Schuldich righted the map and pointed to the same spot. "That's a lake." Brad said. "Fine! You read the stupid map if you're so perfect! Stupid princes and their stupid perfectness." Schuldich mumbled. "Is this the kingdom you were trying to find?" Brad asked, pointing to a large area of the map that was clearly labeled "Kingdom You Were Trying To Find." "Apparently." Schuldich said. "Why do I care if there's an evil witch-typish-thing anyway?" Brad asked. "Because you're Prince Crawford. You have to travel around the country saving **_religious holiday deleted to protect non-Christians_** and puppies and stuff." Schuldich explained. "But… I'm EVIL! E-V-I-L! I don't save religious holidays I don't celebrate anyway! I don't save puppies! I don't even _like_ puppies!" Brad exclaimed. "All princes like puppies." Schuldich said. "I'm not a prince. I don't _want_ to be a prince. So I'm not a prince. I did not foresee my becoming a prince, so it's impossible for me to be a prince because I'm precognitive so I would have foreseen my becoming a prince if it were to actually happen, which it is not because I haven't foreseen it so I'm not a prince. And I don't like puppies because they grow into dogs and dogs drool and make messes that I have to clean up and they remind me of you because that's all you do and I'm really getting sick of cleaning up your soda cans and if you touch my coffee maker again I'll kill you and yes I know it was you who broke my coffee maker because you blamed Nagi and it's not Nagi's fault and speaking of Nagi where is he?" Brad asked. "… … … That has to be one of the longest run-on sentences I have ever seen in my life." Schuldich blinked. "Do I need to repeat myself?" Brad asked irritably. "Erm.. no thanks. And I don't know where the kid is. Also, how could you not like dogs? And don't call me a dog. And Nagi really was the one who broke your coffee maker, honestly. You know me, Brad. I wouldn't do that. I've never told a lie in my life, after all." Schuldich said. "Cats are better than dogs. Shorthaired cats. They don't shed as much. Plus, they don't drool. And I know it was you who broke my coffee maker because I know you. And you've never told a lie in your life my ankle!" Brad said. "Honestly! I cannot tell a lie!" Schuldich lied. "That was cruel, Narrator. That _hurt._ It hurt in _here._" Schuldich put a hand over his heart like the melodramatic idiot he is. "**_Censored_**, don't make me come over there!" Schuldich threatened. "Oh shut up. We might as well go see what's going on in 'Kingdom You Were Trying To Find.'" Brad said, picking up his sword and walking off. Schuldich followed, because he's the annoying sidekick. So that's about all he can do. That and lie a lot. But he's not a good liar. Infact, he's a horrible liar. "Oh just shut up and get on with the plot." Schuldich said.   


  


_Meanwhile in "Kingdom You Were Trying To Find…"_   


  


"Mwahahahaha no da!!! And on her sixteenth birthday, Princess Aya-chan Fujimiya shall get a really bad paper-cut and it'll get infected and then she'll fall into a coma and she won't wake up until Stereotypical Prince Charming kisses her, which won't happen because Verie told me who she cast as Prince Charming and she wouldn't let him kiss Aya-chan anyway so BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Da!" The evil witch-typish-thing cackled. The nameless King and Queen sat there in disbelief. "… You're supposed to be scared no da." The witch-typish-thing said. "Who're you again?" The King asked. "**_Censored_**! Do we have to go through this again no da?! I'm Shinigami, which is Japanese for **_The Destroyer_**. GAH! STUPID BLUE DOT NO DA!!! IT DOESN'T MEAN 'THE DESTROYER!!!' It means **_The Destroyer_**. Dangit… it doesn't mean… GODOFDEATH! HA! TAKE THAT BLUE DOT NO DA!!!" Shinigami exclaimed happily, because she's evil. She's so evil, she managed to evade the Blue-Censor-Dot, which is quite an evil thing to do because now this fairytale has to be rated PG because she mentioned **_deity deleted_**. "Wait.. what does it mean?" The King asked. Shinigami glared at him. "Ok, that's it. All fairytale royalty are idiots no da." Shinigami said, magically fast-forwarding time ONLY in the Kingdom You Were Trying To Find to Aya-Chan's sixteenth birthday. She got a papercut, fell into a coma, and the entire kingdom was put to sleep as planned. Shinigami checked this goal off of her "Evil Deeds" checklist and covered the castle in thorns just to be certain Stereotypical Prince Charming couldn't get through. 

"Woah… talk about needing a weed-whacker." Schuldich yawned. "Indeed." Brad agreed. Schuldich yawned again. "Hey Brad, I'm gonna go find a hotel, you can deal with the princess and stuff." Schuldich said, walking off. "Wait! You can't just leave me here! You're the annoying sidekick!" Brad exclaimed. "Yeah, and the annoying sidekick wants to sleep because the annoying sidekick isn't a prince so the annoying sidekick needs to sleep because the annoying sidekick isn't _perfect_ like a certain narcissist prince the annoying sidekick happens to know." Schuldich said. "I'm not a narcissist." Brad grumbled. "Yeah, that's another reason why you make a bad prince. Don't quit your day-job." Schuldich commented. "You could've said that _before_ season one ended and we helped Weiss defeat Esset because Esset was a stupid cult. But they paid well. Anyhow, yes, you could have mentioned that before all that." Brad said. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Schuldich said, walking off-screen. "Peachy." Brad mumbled, wishing Ran/Aya had had a chainsaw instead of a katana.   


  


_Two hours later…_   


  


"Why did I bother, again?" Brad wondered aloud. He couldn't think of an answer, so he just decided to look around the castle. "MWAHAHAHA!! Hello, Stereotypical Prince Charming no da!" Shinigami exclaimed, appearing in a melodramatic cloud of shiny stuff (as all magical beings must do to show that they're magical beings. Otherwise they're just evil overlords). "Who the **_censored_** are you? And why can't I say things that were invented to not be cusswords, anyway?!" Brad demanded. "I'm guessing because some people consider the non-cusswords to be cusswords no da." Shinigami said. "Ah. Peachy." Brad sighed. "Anyhow, I am… ShinigamiTHEGODOFDEATH! No da!" Shinigami exclaimed. "…. Well, you certainly must be evil. Managing to avoid the Blue-Censor-Dot and all." Brad commented dryly. "Don't take the fun out of it no da." Shinigami said. "Fine. Anyhow, as a fellow evil being, I have to comment that you seem to be awfully stereotypical to me. All the way to the stupid maniacal laughter." Brad said. "Hey, don't rat on maniacal laughter no da. I might have to hurt you no da." Shinigami responded defensively. "Hn. You're nothing but a standard run-of-the-mill melodramatic villain." Brad taunted. "Oh yeah.. well.. um… you don't have the guts to kill Weiss no da!" Shinigami exclaimed. "TAKE THAT BACK!" Brad yelled, grabbing his sword, which promptly disappeared. "Hey! What the **_censored_**?" Brad demanded, just as the author magically popped into existence. "Sorry, Braddie. No swords, you might hurt someone." Verie said. "But… that's the POINT. Swords are SHARP. And meant for HURTING. Especially the hurting of SOMEONE." Brad exclaimed. Verie shook her head. "Sorry, it's the rating. Which went up because of _someone_ tricking the Blue-Censor-Dot," Verie glared at Shinigami, who shrugged, "anyhow, since this is a family-ish-type story. Or at least it would be. But none of you are helping. Anyhow, since swords promote violence, and Prince Charming is a pacifist, I can't allow you to have a sword." Verie said. "But… plenty of princes have swords!" Brad exclaimed. "Not Prince Charming. Prince Charming's only weapon is his annoying perfectness." Verie said. "I hate you." Brad grumbled. "Don't worry, Braddie! I have a list of acceptable weapons. They are as follows: toast, butter, glowsticks, toe-socks, hedgehogs, charm, annoying sidekicks, perfectness, and brussel sprouts." Verie said. "… … You expect me to save people with _brussel sprouts_?!" Brad demanded. "Or toast or butter or glowsticks or hedgehogs-" "Yeah, I've got it." Brad grumbled. "By the way, the toast can't be sharp toast. Neither can the brussel sprouts." Verie said. Brad stared at her in disbelief. "Where would I find sharp brussel sprouts to begin with?!" He demanded. Verie shrugged. "Can I use my Patented Crawford Death Glare ®©?" Brad asked. "Sorry, that might be considered scary for younger or sensitive viewers." Verie said. Brad grumbled to himself angrily. "This is ridiculous!" He exclaimed. "Yeah, but we already knew that." Verie said. Suddenly, Ran/Aya ran in, waving a stick of butter. "What the…?" Brad blinked as Ran/Aya held the butter in Brad's face in his most threatening manner. "Shi-NE! Where's my sister?!" He demanded. "Wait… are you Ran Fujimiya no da?" Shinigami asked. "Yes." Ran said coldly. "Oooh! You must be looking for your sister! Well, you're gonna laugh when you hear this no da…" Shinigami said. Ran glared at her. "Where's my sister?!" He demanded, throwing the stick of butter at her. She sidestepped. "Well, you see, she got this paper-cut no da. And it got all infected and stuff, so she went into a coma no da. So um.. somehow.. the entire kingdom fell asleep. I think they got bored or something no da. Anyhow, then this vine kinda grew all over the castle, and um… It was all Brad's fault, honestly no da." Shinigami said. "WHAT?! I had nothing to do with this!!!" Brad exclaimed. Ran retrieved his stick of butter and threw it at Brad, who dodged yet again. "Give me back my sister!" Ran exclaimed. "I don't HAVE your sister! I really couldn't care LESS about your sister! I don't even know who your sister IS!" Brad exclaimed. "Shi-NE!" Ran exclaimed, throwing more butter at Brad. In the process of sidestepping flying sticks of butter, Brad accidentally stepped on one and slipped and fell flat on his face. "Fujimiya… you'll be receiving a bill from my dry-cleaner." Brad mumbled. "Poor Braddie." Verie frowned, as a stick of better flew over Brad's head. Shinigami tripped Ran, thus ending the escapade of butter. Verie then pushed him out the window, not injuring him of course, because if he got hurt that would up the rating. Brad got up and attempted to assess the damage on his suit. "You'll hear from my lawyer." He said bitterly. Schuldich conveniently walked in. "Hey, are we going to fight the evil witch-typish thing?" He asked. Brad glanced at Verie. "Actually… no. See, Shinigami is a friend of mine, so I can't allow that. However, I'm sure Shinigami wouldn't mind if you woke up Comatose Princess Aya-chan." Verie said, giving Shinigami a sideways glance. Shinigami shrugged. "Wait.. so the princess really is Fujimiya's sister?!" Brad demanded. "In short… yes." Verie answered. "And… how do I go about waking her up?" Brad asked. Shinigami, Schuldich and Verie stared at him in disbelief. "You don't KNOW?!" They all demanded at once. "Da." Shinigami added. "Well, this fairytale is disturbing and makes no sense anyway, so I'm hoping it's something other than what I think it is." Brad said. "You have to kiss her." Schuldich informed. "**_Censored_**!" Brad exclaimed. "… Shi-ne, Dot." He added. Verie frowned again. "Note to self: keep Brad away from Ran… he's influencing him in a negative manner." She said. "Ok, I'm going to allow Fujimiya's sister to continue life in a coma. I am NOT kissing her." Brad said. "But you have to." Schuldich blinked. "I DO NOT! YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I'M NOT A PRINCE! NOR WILL I EVER BE A PRINCE! NOW LEAVE ME THE **_censored _**ALONE!" Brad yelled. "… Kurofudo has problems, no da." Shinigami said. Brad arched an eyebrow at her. "You don't look Japanese, so why use Japanese pronunciation?" He asked. "Japanese is cooler than English no da." Shinigami replied. "… And so.. names must be in Japanese?" Brad asked. "Hai." Shinigami nodded. "… .. You're all lunatics. I'm LEAVING." Brad said, turning to walk away. "Wait!! You need me to give you your new weapon!" Verie exclaimed, handing Brad a piece of toast. "Toast." He stared at the entirely blunt object in disbelief. "Use it wisely." Verie said, and with that she and Shinigami disappeared. "Hey cool… food." Schuldich said, grabbing the toast and eating it. "… … Whatever." Brad sighed, and with that our.. … "heroes" left the kingdom in search of better fish to fry. … Or something. 


	4. Shi ne' Said the crab, 'Get Off Me' Said...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Now what?" Schuldich asked, staring at the map. "Well, find somewhere for us to go. Perferably a place that doesn't have a princess." Brad said. "Everyplace has a princess, Brad. Princesses are a dime a dozen, but there's only one prince. It's kind of romantic, jah?" Schuldich snickered. "I'm going to hurt you someday." Brad growled. "You can't, because you're the Prince. The prince is a pacific, you know." Schuldich grinned. "I am so going to hurt you someday." Brad glared. "Hehe. Ok, how about here?" Schuldich asked, pointing to the map. "... Schuldich, we can't go to a compass rose." Brad said. Schuldich glared at him. "Fine, if you're not going to listen to me anyway, YOU take the stupid map!" Schuldich exclaimed. "You've said that twice now." Brad said bluntly. "Shut the **_censored_** up and find somewhere to go." Schuldich grumbled. "Ok... how about... here?" Brad suggested, pointing to "A Place Somewhere Near the Beach." 

"Oh.. beach.. with... women.. and bikinis..." Schuldich said, drooling on the map. Brad arched an eyebrow and handed the map to Schuldich, not wanting to be anywhere near it anymore. "Ok then... now that that's settled.. let's go." Brad said, and so our favorite duo (yeah, right) marched onward, ready to encounter any dangers that await them! HUZZAH! 

_Later..._

Brad stared out at the ocean. "Brad.. there's no women here." Schuldich glared. "I never said there would be." Brad replied. "You SUCK." Schuldich mumbled. Brad shrugged. "At least there aren't any princesses." Brad said in relief. Schuldich magically pulled a flute out of his pocket and shoved it in Brad's face. "What the **_censored_**?" Brad asked. "All good Princes play flutes when they're at the beach." Schuldich said. "Yet another reason why I am not a prince." Brad glared. Schuldich sighed. "Fine, be that way." He mumbled, walking off. Brad shrugged and followed out of lack of anything better to do. 

Soon, they came upon a person, sitting on a rock. "Brad! Lookie! It's a hot girl wearing a sheet! With a crab!" Schuldich exclaimed happily. ".. Schu.. .that's a man..." Brad twitched. "Who cares?! He's hot!" Schuldich exclaimed. Brad twitched some more, as the.. um.. guy... hung off him. "Let. Go. Of. Me." Brad growled. The man... princess... person... (Yohjiel) batted his eyelashes. "Shi-ne." The crab said. "... Did that crab just talk?" Brad asked. "**_Censored_** Brad, only HE can hear the animals talking. Princes can't do that." Schuldich said. Brad twitched. "That's it. I'm leaving." Brad said, walking off while dragging Yohjiel with him (he was latched to his leg by this time). "Wait!! You have to take.. him.. her... it... back to your palace and have dinner and then fight the sea-monster-lady played by Manx and stuff!" A yellow and blue fish named Tsukounder exclaimed. "Schu told me I can't hear animals. So I can't hear fish." Brad said over his shoulder, kicking Yohjiel off. "But you're supposed to live happily ever after so we can make a sequel!" Tsukounder exclaimed. Brad started screaming and ran off. "... ... I think he's hot..." Schuldich said in a disappointed manner, and followed Brad unwillingly. 

_Back in the forest..._

"**_Censored _** Brad! We could have turned that into a nice long fairytale that would have actually have been ok!" Verie exclaimed angrily. "That was YOHJI KUDOU. Think about that! The Fujimiyas were bad enough but... KUDOU." Brad shuddered. "... I see your point..." Verie sighed. "And I'm not a Prince." Brad growled. "Yeah, yeah, you've covered that. Here, here's a brussel sprout. Now move on..." Verie sighed. "Fine." Brad mumbled, thinking that there had to be somewhere in this **_deity deleted_** forsaken world that didn't have a princess.   
  


**************** 

Since this chapter is um.. short, and I received a question from a wonderful reviewer (yes, review and you too could become a wonderful reviewer! Review today! ~logo that says "Read and Review" pops up on the screen~) ... a.. ha. Anyhow, yes, Shinigami does talk like Chichiri. And the reason for that is because my friend wanted to be in this.. and I let her. And she's Shinigami, and she's a rabid Chichiri fangirl. So she says "No da!" a LOT. And by a lot.. I mean... A LOT. So yes, that would be why Shinigami says "no da." .. Verbal exclamation marks hurt God. Kinda like saying "ka?" after everything. .. That kind of thing is just cool. Anyhow, that's why. Bwee ^_^   
  



	5. It's sad when the bitparts pay more than...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Brad and Schuldich decided to forego the map, as it seemed to be directly linked with finding princesses. 

"Mwaha! We're in the middle of the forest... no princess would reside here." Brad cackled happily, when he stumbled upon a clearing. 

And what was in the middle of the clearing? 

A glass coffin with a princess in it, of course! There were also a bunch of midgets around here. 

They enclosed Brad and Schu in a circle, and introduced themselves as Stabby, Genki, Vengeful, All My Girlfriends Die, My Brother Killed Me, Golfclub-Man, and Psycho. And they weren't midgets, they were DWARVES. 

"**_CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED_**!!!!!" Brad yelled irritably. He look at the princess, who was apparently named "Snow Goggle-Boy." 

"... That's a man." Brad said bluntly. "They're all men, Braddie." Schuldich replied. Brad glared at the glass coffin, while all the dwarves glared at him angrily. Especially Vengeful. Vengeful is scary. "I'm not kissing a man." Brad glared. "Fine. Be that way. Let the midgets maim us and we'll all die and stuff." Schuldich glared. "Sounds good." Brad said. Schuldich grumbled. "Then how are we going to get out of here?" Schuldich whispered. Brad thought for a second, drew a blank, so he just tossed the brussel sprout into the group of dwarves. Who all screamed and hid behind trees and stuff. 

Then Princess Snow Goggle-Boy woke up! 

"My hero!" Snow Goggle-Boy exclaimed. Brad screamed, and started to run when Snow Goggle-Boy latched onto his leg. Brad attempted to kick him off, while Schuldich watched in mild amusement. "Y'know Brad.. he's kinda hot too..." Schuldich said. Brad glared at him. "What? He IS." Schuldich pouted. "MY HERO! YOU SAVED ME!" Goggle-Boy exclaimed. "GET IT OFF!" Brad cried, beating him with the brussel sprout. The author magically appeared out of nowhere. 

"Bradley... you don't beat princesses with vegetables." Verie said. "Who says?" Brad asked. "I do. Now put the brussel sprout down." Verie said in a threatening manner. Brad sighed and tossed the brussel sprout in the direction of Psycho, who screamed and hid again. "Snow Goggle-Boy, get off the prince." Verie ordered, and Goggle-Boy obliged. "Is this scene done yet?" He asked. "Yes... Brad ruined it. AGAIN." Verie glared at Brad, who shrugged. "Sweet." Ken said, walking off-screen, and disappearing. "Wait! Where'd he go?" Brad demanded. "Off-stage." Verie answered. "What?!" Brad demanded, attempting to follow Goggle-Boy, but only walking deeper into the forest. "Only paid employees can go off-stage." Verie said. "PAID?! THEY'RE GETTING PAID FOR THIS?!" Brad exclaimed. "Jah, you didn' know that, Brad?" Schuldich asked. "Wait.. you're getting paid too?!" Brad demanded. "Jah." Schu answered. Brad twitched. "Ok, now you two have fun and go off and attempt not to mess up anymore takes.. or else I'll maim you both." Verie said, giving Brad a pair of toe-socks, and disappearing. "I hate you all." Brad glowered.   


***************** 

~cough~ You say that like it's a bad thing, Nags. ^_~ Face it, I'm a negative influence on you. Soon you'll be wearing suits and drinking coffee and nagging your family to buy you stocks. It's all part of my master plan. ~cackles evilly~ .. And stuff. Don't make fun of my annoying habits, or I'll make Nagi cross-dress (... wait... ~sweatdrop~ ok, he'll cross-dress more than already planned ;_;') I also find it entertaining that you submitted that review at the exact same time as I uploaded the next chapter. So then I had to upload this chapter, for no apparent reason. .. And such. (mwahaha, yes, I'm doing this to annoy you, Nags. ~cackle~) 

Also, someone suggest some fairytales and stuff with princes... I'm running out ;_;' mostly since I only have Disney movies... I've got Aladdin, Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast left. ~cries~ I need more! ... ~sniffle~ So yes, donate to the "make this fic longer" charity, and receive more chapters ^_^; Nags, you said you had a lot of Disney movies, right? .. Don't happen to know any with princes in them, do you? ~sweatdrop~ .. Now, I must brainstorm on another chapter.. that will have to do with toe-socks ;_;' scheisse. 

Also, Nagi, I blame you for the fact that I'm not getting my story for English done >.; and I was almost to the part with you, too! So.. um.. grr! ... And Sephiroth turned into a duck. ... I am entertained ^_^; And now, I'm going to finally shut up! YAY! ~gets hit in the face with a tomato~ .. that was uncool man, uncool >.;   



	6. Et tu, Schu?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Prince Brad and Schuldich had been travelling. For a long time. So long, that they were beginning to get the idea that they were lost. "I think we're lost." Schuldich said, looking at the map upside down. "How could we be lost, if we never knew where we were to begin with?" Brad asked sceptically. "Stupid logical princes and their **_censored _**logic and perfectness..." Schuldich started mumbling. "**_Censored_**, for the LAST FREAKING TIME! I. AM. NOT. A. PRINCE." Brad glared. But it wasn't his special death glare that scares small children and would thus have to be censored, no, it was just a plain glare. ... So it wasn't all that great. "If you're going to be all **_censored_** then I'll just leave." Schuldich said, walking OFFSTAGE. "Wait! What the.... how come he gets to go offstage?!" Brad demanded angrily. Verie magically walked on stage. Magically. With sparkles and everything. "Because he offered to help me tie-down- ... I mean... .. clean... the.. um.. offstage... area.... yes.. that's it..." Verie said, trailing off. Brad looked at her sceptically. "Schuldich doesn't clean for anything." "Yes well.. he does now?" Verie sweatdropped. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SHULDICH?!" Brad demanded. "Nothing! Really! He's um.. eating donuts! Yes.. that works..." Verie exclaimed. Brad glared some more. "Where's Nagi? I would think he'd be around here somewhere." Brad asked. "I think he's offstage getting his- I mean.. at school!" Verie lied, in a manner even worse than Schuldich. Her brain must be dead today or something. "I heard that." Verie glared at nothing. Not that I care or anything. "That's it. Brad, keep travelling and stuff. Here's another map, since Schu drooled on the old one." Verie said, walking offstage -STAY AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT PIPE **_CENSORED_** OR I'LL USE MY NARRATIVE POWERS ON YOU! .. Yeah, that's what I _thought_. 

And so, Brad travelled, and the blue-censor-dot had to work overtime, so most of the travelling has been cut from the actual story. Probably because Verie doesn't want to have to pay the dot anymore over-time than she already had to. Because she's LAZY. And if she tries to attack me again, she will REGRET it. DEARLY. DO YOU HEAR ME, VERIE?! That's what I thought. And what are you doing to- err... right, the script. Anyhow, Brad's travelling. With his new map and a pair of blue-striped toe-socks. Woo. 

"THAT'S IT! I'm not travelling anymore!" Brad exclaimed, sitting down on conveniently placed rock. Verie popped in, unmagically this time. "Brad, you're going to travel, because I'm BUSY. And Narrator, if you don't stop yelling at me I'll fire you. Which means YOU'LL BE BROKE." Verie glared. ... And that's harsh, seriously HARSH. Narrators don't make much ANYWAY. I knew I should have been a lawyer, but nooooo... "STOP THAT!" Verie commanded. So I did. ".. Right.. anyhow, Brad, keep travelling, because we're busy with um.. donuts. Yes..." Verie walked offstage again, mumbling to herself about "donuts" and.. other non-sensical things. "... You people are seriously starting to creep me out." Brad blinked, and continued on his journey. 

And on his journey, he saw a white rabbit! But ignored it, because there was some creepy blonde-kid chasing it, and he didn't even want to know who Verie got to play _that _part. "You're right. I don't. And I really hate being the only character, too." Brad said. 

With that, a screaming blur of pink ran onstage. "CRAWFORD! HELP ME!" The pink-thing latched on to Brad's leg. "... NAGI?!" Brad exclaimed in shock, yes, it was Nagi. Nagi wearing a pink dress. "CRAWFORD!! They offered me money to cross-dress and play a princess but I refused and then they went and got Schu and they made me wear this dress and now they're trying to do my hair and MAKE UP! MAKE UP, CRAWFORD! MAKE UP FOR THE LOVE OF **_DEITY DELETED_**!!!!!!" Nagi cried. "Naaaggles! Come baaack!" Schuldich and Verie ran on stage. Nagi screamed bloody murder. "GAH! MAKE HIM STOP!!!" Verie and Schuldich cried, collapsing on the ground clutching their ears. Brad had to think quickly, but unfortunately, all he had was a pair of toe-socks. So he decided to just sit and do nothing, except maybe try to pry Nagi off his leg. "DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK THEEEEREEEE!" Nagi exclaimed, as Schuldich recovered and attempted to pry Nagi off Brad's leg. "Schu, stop it. I'm getting a migraine. SO STOP SCREAMING! Argh... Anyhow, FINE. If you won't cooperate, you can just join Brad in the 'people who can't go offstage' category." Verie said. Nagi blinked, and Verie disappeared. "You should've cooperated, kid. Now you've gotta be a main character or somethin'." Schu said, poking Nagi's pink dress. "... I want my clothes back." Nagi mumbled, letting go of Brad's leg finally. "No can-do, Naggles. That's the only extra costume we have." Schuldich grinned sadistically. "But.. I don't even have any SHOES. Much less socks!" Nagi exclaimed. Brad handed him the toe-socks. "Take these, then. I'm sick of carrying the useless things around anyway." Brad said. Nagi shrugged and took the socks, it's not like he had anything better anyway. Nagi glared at Schu. "When I figure out what's wrong with my powers, you will _suffer._" Nagi glared. "... ... ... I'm going to go ask Verie if she feels it's absolutely necessary to give them back.. and um... they've got donuts in the lobby! BWEE!" Schuldich ran offstage. "... ... That was cruel. ... That was so incredibly cruel." Brad sighed. "What? Taking away my powers and putting me in a pink dress?" Nagi asked. "No, they've got DONUTS." Brad sighed. Nagi glared at him, and the two started travelling. Again. 

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Verie: ^_^; I've been waiting to write this chapter for.. too long. It wasn't supposed to come in so early though... and I had no idea what I'd do with Nagi after I introduced him o.o; but apparently he's um.. part of the main party now? While Schu is.. eating.. donuts. Gah.. poor Naggles. We'll have to get him a better outfit in the next town... hopefully the peasants won't become angry and vengeful and make things difficult, ne? ... o.o; Poor, poor Nagi. I can't believe I did that. But don't worry! He'll get a decent outfit, and everything will be ok. I don't know if his powers will return during the fic (I doubt it, but they'll be given back in the end, like Brad's and Schu's which I never really realized weren't there anymore... ~sweatdrop~). So.. WOO. Anyhow.. I have homework, so here's the next chapter! .. There's no plot, but it has NAGI. How cool is THAT? .. And don't torture me for being so cruel, it was Schu's idea! HONEST! ~cowers~ (Oh, and I hope this chapter didn't confuse anyone too much... especially with the Narrator being so psycho. Note that as of now, you can't hear things that are happening offstage, or else you'd be able to hear my screaming at the Narrator when I had the pipe ^_~ I might start adding random offstrage scenes, though. Since Schu'll be spending more time there now that he's being paid). ... Wow.. .. that's a long A/N. o.o; 


	7. WHOSE idea was it to do a night scene, a...

  
  
  


Verie: Bwee! Ok, starting in this chapter... there will be behind-the-scenes (offstage) scenes! Woo! They're not narrated.. because the narrated stuff is all.. onstage. So whoosh!   


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Verie: ~walks over to the other offstage characters, wearing her Shoujo-Happy-Fluffy-Sheep-Pajamas[TM] and yawning loudly~ Whose idea was it to do a night scene, anyway?   
Schu: ~also wearing pajamas, just not Shoujo-Happy-Fluffy-Sheep ones~ I believe that was you.   
Verie: .... blast.   
Blue-Censor-Dot: ~... wearing.. a dot's form of pajamas... however that would be o.O;~ ~bobs up and down~   
Ken: what are we doing in this scene? ~for the record, EVERYONE is wearing pajamas~   
Shinigami/Nagi: Am I in it?   
Verie: I have no clue. Where's the Narrator? He's got the script.   
Schu: I think he's in his office.   
Verie: ~frowns~ I'm the AUTHOR and *I* don't get an office.   
Schu: ~shrug~ That's your fault.   
Verie: ... true.   
Shinigami/Nagi: datte datte datte datte daisuki dakara...   
Verie: o.o; Don't. Sing. That.   
Shinigami/Nagi: ~snickers evilly and continues~ Doko doko doko-   
Verie: GAAH! THE CATCHY-NESS! ~falls over screaming~   
Schu: my eeeeeeaaaaaaaaars! MAKE IT STOP!! ~throws a donut at Verie~   
Verie: WAI! DONUT! ~catches it and munches on it happily~ ^_^   
Shinigami/Nagi: o.o;   
Verie: =^_^= Neko neko WAI!   
Schu: .. now you've got her started...   
Verie: Neko no ka?   
Aya/Ran: Shi-ne, Shinigami.   
Shinigami: ^_^;   
Verie: ~dances all.. shoujo-ee and stuff~ NEKO NEKO NEKO NEKO NEKO- ~gets hit in the head with a coffee can~ x.x;   
Schu: Wee ^_^   
Verie: coffee! ^_^ Where's the coffee-maker?   
Schu: we don't HAVE one.   
Verie: x.x; coffeeeeee ~falls asleep~   
Schu: o.O; ~gets a box of pocky, puts one in his mouth and pokes Verie with another one~   
Shinigami: oo.. pocky... ~takes some pocky~ ^_^   
Verie: ~wakes up~ nyeh... eh? POCKY! WAI! ~attempts to tackle Schu, who side-steps~ x.x; POCKY POCKY POCKY POCKY-   
Schu: ~holds the pocky out of her reach... somehow... since he's only like... a couple inches taller than me... x.x;~   
Verie: .... POCKY POCKY POCKY POCKY WAI WAI!!! ~jumps up and down~   
Aya/Ran: .. someone get her to shut up.   
Farf: God likes airheads. ~glares at Verie~   
Verie: ~shuts up immediately~ I'll be good. ~sits down on the floor~ datte datte- DANGIT! >.;   
Shinigami: ^_^ Ha.   
Verie: >.; Tenshi ni Narumon is the devil.   
Shinigami: And that's a bad thing?   
Farf: No, it's not.   
Verie: .. good point. ^_^;   
Narrator: ~walks in~ What's everyone doing?   
Verie: Waiting for YOU because we have a NIGHT scene.   
Narrator: Who's stupid idea was that?   
Schu: Verie's.   
Verie: >.; I never thought that up. It was you, I know it. ~glares~   
Narrator: Don't make me radically alter the script.   
Verie: ;_;' just get in there and read it. ~pokes Schu~ Pocky? Wai?   
Schu: -.-; Fine. ~gives Verie pocky~   
Verie: POCKY POCKY POCKY WAI- ~gets hit in the head with a coffee can~ x.x; ~passes out~   
Shinigami: >.; way to go, Farf.   
Farf: That hurt God ^_^ 

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After a long time of travelling, Brad and Nagi fell asleep. Somewhere in the woods. Because it was night, and at night, most sensible people are asleep. Just like *I* should be. But am I? Noooo! And you know why?! BECAUSE THE AUTHOR HAD TO HAVE A STUPID NIGHT SCENE. Grr. 

Anyhow, eventually, Brad and Nagi woke up. ... I said... Brad and Nagi woke up. ... BRAD AND NAGI WOKE UP. **_CENSORED_** WAKE UP! ".. Eh? I'm up, I'm up." Brad mumbled, stirring awake. "What, we don't get to sleep now?" Nagi asked irritably. "Yeah, where's the author? I want to file a complaint." Brad stated, because Verie is currently passed out offstage because she annoyed Farf with her shoujo-ness which is apparently the fault of Tenshi ni Narumon. ".. I'm not going to ask." Brad sighed, shaking his head. Anyhow, Brad and Nagi randomly decided to start travelling again! "We did?" Brad asked. Yes, you did. "... Um.. ok..." Brad said, and so he and the love-able cross-dresser started on their journey. "I'll kill you. When I get my powers back, I'll kill you." Sure you will, Nags. "... I hate you." Nagi mumbled, and so they set off. 

Soon, they came to a town! ".. Look, a town." Brad said monotonously. "If they don't have a shop with clothes...." Nagi twitched. "You'll jinx it." Brad yawned. So they decided to look around. "Ye Olde Dress Shoppe... .... Ye New Dress Shoppe.... Ye Medium Dress Shoppe... WHY?! WHY MUST YOU ALL MOCK ME SO?!" Nagi exclaimed, reading the shop signs. "Think of it this way, Nagi, if Schu didn't have our money, we could buy you a different colored dress." Brad snickered. ".. Wait.. we don't have MONEY?" Nagi exclaimed. "... No." Brad said. ".. But.. but... YOU'RE A PRINCE! ALL PRINCES HAVE MONEY!" Nagi exclaimed. "FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT A PRINCE!" Brad yelled. Meanwhile, random female fangirl peasants came and started worshipping Brad. ".. That is so not funny." Brad glared at the fangirls, who merely swooned and hung off him. "GET THEM OFF OF ME!" Brad yelled. Nagi, meanwhile, was laughing his head off. "This is not funny." Brad glared at him. "I assure you, it is." Nagi grinned. "At least I'm not wearing a dress!" Brad glared. "... That was low." Nagi frowned. "Yeah, it was, but this is lower, _princess._" Brad said. Nagi stared at Brad in horror, as tons of random maile fanboy peasants appeared out of nowhere and started flirting with him. Brad and Nagi suddenly noticed a large dust cloud coming their way, which could only mean one thing: fanpeople stampede. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They screamed, and ran like **_censored_**. 

In their desperate running and screaming, they came to a large building with a giant-blue-dot over it! "BARBARBARBARBARBARBARBAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!" Schuldich exclaimed, running onstage in a blurr, and then slamming into the blue dot. Brad and Nagi winced. "That had to hurt." Brad said, as Schuldich slumped on the ground. "It.. ai..." Schuldich said, falling over. Nagi poked Schuldich with a conveniently located pointy-stick, and Schuldich jumped back up. "AH-HA! Ok.. so somewhere around here.. there is a secret door..." Schuldich started attempting to find a secret door in the giant-blue-dot. "Give it up, Schu." Brad said, shaking his head sadly. "NEVER! Remember, Bradley, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Schuldich said, and continued searching for the door. "... ... Schuldich.. have you been reading Nagi's Harry Potter books?" Brad asked, somewhat disturbed. "... I can't say I haven't." Schuldich replied. Brad and Nagi sweatdropped. "EUREKA! BANZAI! HUZZAH! AND OTHER THINGS ONE CAN SAY WHEN FINDING SOMETHING!" Schuldich exclaimed, opening the hidden door and running in psychotically. ".. That's kind of pathetic." Brad sighed, and walked off. Nagi followed, because he knew SOMEWHERE there had to be a men's clothes shop. Because what kind of a sick twisted town would have three dress shops but no men's clothing shop? Honestly. 

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Verie: Bwee ^_^ About obscure Tenshi ni Narumon references... blame Nagi/Shinigami >.; I just got back from her house, where she gathered up all the little Freshment and the ONE Sophomore (yes, who's the bigger loser, the Freshment or the Sophomore who hangs out with them? ^_~ Poor Bryce). Anyhow, if you've never heard the beginning theme.. it has to be one of the catchiest songs in the world. Anyhow, be happy, we've managed to brainwash another one of our friends using the powers of anime. Soon we must expose her to Weiss... ~cackles evilly~ Ooh.. I am AMUSED. Because then I can add her to the list of "people I have brainwashed into liking Weiss." .. 'Tis a long list ^_^; Anyhow... to reply to various reviews: 

-Felicity Honenburg: yeah, I never noticed it either until I started writing this for English, and realized that I had to have some explanation of what an eartail was... then it hit me, SIDEBURNS. ... It's actually kind of disturbing o.o; I love interactive narrators ^_^ they're just so much fun to play with. And the Blue-Censor-Dot was inspired by my Canadian friends' talk of Dragon Ball Z, in which she mentioned blue-censor-dots. .. And I found it entertaining, and so.. it is here ^_^ Peasants are fun, too. They're so... bit-part-ee ^_^; 

-Ryuke-chan: ^_^; Hehe, don't worry. I won't give away the plot.. but Nagi'll be ok ^_^ I couldn't help but notice in your little author profile thingie that you're BlackProdigyNN (I recognized the name from Kazaa... I belive I've downloaded something from you... I have no life, and it takes me an hour to download a three minute song, like I have anything better to do than look at the people's names who I'm downloading from?) 

-Akisty: Yes, Robin Hood! Excellent idea! ^_^ I'm sure Bradley will enjoy that a bit more than what's planned so far. ~cough~ Poor Bradley... it might be awhile before I get to Robin Hood. But I'll definately add it to my list ^_^ 

-Nagi/Shinigami: I hope you get the obscure Fushigi Yuugi reference in here. (Hint: "Love-Able Cross-Dresser" now who does *THAT* describe? ^_^;) Hey look, you were only planned to be in one chapter, and now you're in TWO. How cool is that? And who knows.. you might be in the next one! GASPETH! ... ^_^; 

Anyhow, that's all for now.. all reviews appreciated! Fan-Art welcome (~cough~no, that's not a major hint... ~cough cough~) and all other stuff! ^_^ Bwee! New chapter will hopefully be up... soon! >.; Let's see... 9 reviews, and 7 chapters... ne.. that works. The next one will be up soon, as I actually know what happens in it, and such. .. It'll probably be another fairy-tale-lacking-one. But it's gonna have PEASANTS. And lord knows what other kinds of psychoticness! ^_^; Anyhow... before I go off to watch the second episode of Gluhen (BWEE!!! WAI WAI WAAAAAAAI!!!) does anyone know a good place to find Weiss merchandise? Of any form what-so-ever? Like.. online? Other than Ebay because Ebay hates me? (Schwarz... doujinshi.. ~twitch twitch~ WHY?! WHY MUST YOU MOCK ME, EBAY?! ~sobs~) And I need an anime cel. Of Brad, preferably. Because that would make me uber-happy and shoujo-ee and it can go on my WALL. As in.. THE wall. The wall of WEISS. .. Which actually has a 101 Dalmations poster, but IGNORING THAT. And it seriously needs a Brad cel. Because that would make my day. Or week. Or month. Or year.. or hell, it would make my LIFE. ~sweatdrop~ -- hopeless fangirl. Oh well. .. Wow.. this is a long A/N.. oh well. I'm good at that. ... I should be watching Weiss right now.. but I'm currently on a long rant about Brad cels. Because they're impossible to find and I saw one on ebay for 46 dollars and.. that has to be one of the most depressing things I've ever seen in my life (.. which is sad, because many depressing things have happened to me, but being a strange sadistic-masochistic-weirdo that I am... I find not being able to buy a Brad cel more depressing. >.; gah). Anyhow, shutting up.   
  



	8. Behold the power of GLOWSTICKS

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next day, Brad and Nagi continued their search for the town's men's clothing store. Then they saw Schuldich, looking extremely annoyed! 

"I'm annoyed." Schuldich stated. "And.. why is that?" Brad asked. "Because! IT WASN'T A BAR!" Schuldich exclaimed irritably. "... Oh?" Brad asked, trying to think of a building that would have a blue-censor-dot over it that Schuldich wouldn't like. He drew up a blank. "It was a men's clothing store! WHO PUTS A CENSOR DOT OVER A MEN'S CLOTHING STORE?!" Schuldich demanded. Nagi stole Schu's money and ran to the dot to go buy some decent clothes. "I do, no da!" Shinigami exclaimed, magically appearing in a puff of corny Disney animation. 

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" Schuldich demanded angrily. "Because, no da. I was feeling evil. Da." Shinigami said, and then cackled evilly. Nagi came back, with some semi-decent clothes. And SHOES. Woo. "You were responsible for this?!" He demanded. "And I.. um.. just noticed that.. um... I left the stove on. Offstage. Yes.. that's it. Oh, and DON'T travel directly West to a big castle. Bye no da!" Shinigami exclaimed and ran off screen. "... Don't travel West?" Brad asked skeptically. "What's she mean by THAT?" Schuldich wondered aloud. "Well, from an intelligent point of view.. it would mean that she's trying to use reverse psychology on us. But seeing as how she's your stereotypical melodramatic bad guy/idiot, I'm going to assume that the castle is her 'secret lair' and that we should go there, thwart her evil plans, and get her to leave us alone." Brad said. "... You over-analyze everything, Crawford." Nagi sighed. "And so.. Westward, we shall go!" Schuldich exclaimed, running off. "What's the hurry?" Brad asked. Nagi pointed behind him, so Brad turned around, and noticed a stamped of angry and vengeful peasants with pitch-forks charging at them. ".... **_CENSORED_** SCHULDICH!" Brad yelled, and so he and Nagi ran off after Schuldich. 

And thus, our favorite group of psychos traveled onward. Westward... ... wherever. They were traveling. Soon, they came to your stereotypical "Creepy Castle on a Cliff." Woo! Gotta love stereotypes. "... This is so cheesy." Brad sighed. "Cheesy: something containing, resembling or suggesting cheese. You're cheesy, Crawford. You suggested cheese." Schuldich said. Brad arched an eyebrow at you. "You have too much time on your hands." He said bluntly. "Yeah well... you're cheesy." Schuldich said in retort, and the trio traveled in the general direction of the castle. 

Soon, after a long walk that made Verie have to pay the blue-censor-dot overtime again, they arrived at the ridiculously huge door! "... Why, oh why, must all stereotypical bad guys have huge doors?! Don't they know that just makes it harder to shut them in case of an attack?!" Brad demanded. "Not if you never open them." Nagi said. "Shut up." Brad glared. "In most fairy tales, don't the doors magically open for you anyway?" Schuldich asked. ".. That's a good point." Brad said, poking the door, which magically opened. "Ha. I was right! I was right and Bradley was WRONG." Schuldich snickered. "I had no opinion on the subject, so I couldn't be wrong." Brad said, walking through. "**_CENSORED_** Brad, admit you're wrong!" Schuldich exclaimed, following. "Those with no opinions can never be wrong." Brad stated. "Give it up Schuldich, you won't win." Nagi said. "But.. but... I WAS RIGHT. And Brad was WRONG. W-R-O-N-G! WRONG." Schuldich pouted. "Uh-huh, sure I was, Schu." Brad said, walking around the castle. "Let's do the stereotypical thing to do, and split-up." Nagi suggested. ".. Doesn't that result in death for most supporting characters?" Schuldich asked. "Only the stupid or heroic ones." Nagi said evilly. "... What are you implying by that?!" Schuldich demanded. "Oh... nothing..." Nagi snickered. "I'm going to agree with Nagi on this one.. if we split up, we'll cover more ground." Brad stated. "NO! BRADLEY! DON'T GO INTO THE LIIIIIIIIGHT!!" Schuldich cried, attaching himself to Brad's leg. "What the **_censored_** is that supposed to mean? And GET OFF OF ME!" Brad exclaimed. "Don't listen to him, Bradley! He's trying to kill me! Don't leeeaaaaaaave meeeeeeeeee!!" Schuldich whined. "That's it. We're splitting up." Brad glared. "NOOOO!!!!!" Schuldich screamed. "Listen to me, Schuldich, you'll be ok. And I bet that there'll even be some shampoo that makes your hair reeeaally shiny around here somewhere. Because all villains have shiny hair, right?" Brad asked. ".. Her hair didn't seem all that shiny to me..." Schuldich said. "Sure it is!" Brad said, and kicked Schuldich down a flight of stairs. "Was that absolutely necessary?" Nagi asked, a little worried for Schuldich. "It was your idea to split up." Brad said. "... I never said to kick Schuldich down a flight of stairs." Nagi stated. "Hey, I've been waiting to do that for however long it is I've been stuck here! Don't take this away from me!" Brad said, with a maniacal glint in his eye. Nagi backed away slowly. "You know what, Crawford? You're right. And um.. I'm.. going.. to go.. this way.. now..." And Nagi promptly ran off in the opposite-direction, deciding that whatever he could encounter in this castle is much better than what might happen to him if Crawford goes crazy on him. Kinda like in the Shining by Stephen King. Only completely different. 

Anyhow, so Brad decided to go look around. So he started walking around. And so he walked around. And stuff. And nothing happened, when suddenly he came to a door, and there was an eerie glow coming from under neath the door, and he could here maniacal laughter. So he opened the door. 

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!" Masafumi cackled evilly. "What the **_censored_**?" Brad asked. "GASP! It's a.. um.. TRESPASSER! Yes.. that's the word..." Masafumi twitched psychotically. "... .... I'm starting to regret not listening to that stereotypical villain..." Brad blinked. Then, he noticed a person lying on an operating table. And who was that person? None of than TOTO. Brad twitched. "You dare to disrupt my experiment? I'll turn you into goo! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Masafumi exclaimed. "You know, I was just leaving..." Brad sweatdropped, as a bottle crashed into the door behind him, dissolving a good portion of the door, not to mention a large hole in the floor. "**_Censored_**." Brad sweatdropped, now trapped in the lab with the psychotic evil crazy person. "Toto! Attaaaack!" Masafumi cackled, and Toto jumped up and attempted to maul Brad with her yellow umbrella. And thus, a really cheesy fight-scene commenced. Which mostly had Brad dodging, but that's how cheesy fight-scenes work. Then, Verie appeared! "Bradley! I forgot to give you your next weapon!" She exclaimed. Brad threw a random bottle at Toto, which distracted her long enough for him to glare at Verie. "If you give me another peice of toast, I'll kill you." He said. "Nope! It's not toast! It's a glowstick!" Verie exclaimed happily. ".. Peachy." Brad said, dodging the yellow umbrella of DOOM. Verie magically produced a three-foot-long glowstick out of nowhere, and handed it to Brad. Brad twitched, and started "sword fighting" with Toto. It looked really ridiculous, but hey, what doesn't? 

Anyhow, so there was this ridiculously long fight scene, during which a lot of bottles broke, many things dissolved (including a large portion of the floor), Masafumi cackled like a maniac, Verie ate popcorn, and Brad and Toto fought. With a glowstick and an umbrella. Finally, Brad got tired of fighting, and kicking Masafumi through a hole in the floor, because they were on the second story. Toto stopped trying to attack him, and promptly followed through a different hole. "Well, that was easy." Brad said, glancing through a hole in the floor. Schuldich stomped into the room. "OK, CRAWFORD. IT'S _ONE_ THING TO PUSH ME DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS, BUT IT'S ENTIRELY NOT OK TO DROP A TAKATORI ON ME." Schuldich death glared. "... In due fairness, I kicked you, not pushed you." Brad sweatdropped. "GAAAAAAAH!!" Schuldich lunged at Brad, who promptly knocked him out with the glowstick. "This has to be the most useful weapon thus far." Brad commented dryly. Nagi appeared in the door way. "That was cruel, Crawford." He glared. "What? He was attacking me!" Brad exclaimed defensively. "Not _that_, you dropped HER on me." Nagi pointed to his leg, which Toto was currently latched to. "... Oh..." Brad sweatdropped again, so he beat Toto with the glowstick until she too was knocked out. "There." He said. "Thankyou, but I'm still mad for dropping her on me." Nagi glared again. Brad decided to glare at Verie. "What? What'd I do???" Verie exclaimed. "THERE AREN'T ANY PRINCES IN 'FRANKENSTEIN'!!!!!!!" Brad yelled. "Well, you're not a prince, so it doesn't matter, right?" Verie sweatdropped. Brad lunged at her with the glowstick, so Verie promptly escaped to the off stage area. 

"You knocked out Schuldich..." Nagi observed. "... Yes, as I said, he was ATTACKING me." Brad glared. "Yes well, since we'd better get out of here before Masafumi or Toto wake up.. you'll have to carry him." Nagi smirked. "No." Brad glared. "Yep, you've gotta carry him." Nagi snickered. "I refuse to do such a thing!" Brad exclaimed. "But you haave tooo..." Nagi taunted, as Masafumi started to regain consciousness. Brad and Nagi observed this fact through a hole in the floor, sweatdropped, grabbed Schuldich and promptly ran as far away from the castle as possible.   


************ 

Verie: o.O; not what I had originally intended.. but ok. o.o; Brad's right, there isn't a prince in Frankenstein. But I've never seen/read Frankenstein anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter, ne? Hmm.. anyhow, here's another chapter! Bwee! ^_^; 

Shinigami/Nagi: see? I shamelessly used you as a plot device. Be happy. And um.. for contributing to the "Make this fic longer" fund you get your Dragonhalf DVD back on Tuesday. Because it's a three day weekend. Bwee. Be happy ^_~ 

Oh, and for the general populous: I order the Weiss filmbook today! ^_^ bwee! I ish happy. Too bad I have to wait until next week to receive confirmation of my order.. and then five days for it to come. ;_;' that takes all the fun out of it >.; Anyone know a good place to buy Doujinshi? Or other Weiss artbooks? ... Or Weiss stuff in general? o.O; anyhow.. yes. Next chapter will be up... eventually. Probably sometime tomorrow, if not sooner. No promises, though. 


	9. Lamest FairyTale EVER Seriously

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


*BACKSTAGE* 

Verie: BWEE! Guess what! ^_^   
Schu: You got a haircut.   
Verie: .... -.-; Damned telepath.   
Schu: ha ha ^_^   
Omi: .. Your hair looks exactly the same... o.O;   
Verie: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?! IT'S DIFFERENT! DIFFERENT DAMNIT!   
Ken: ... Nope, nothin' different.   
Verie: ~twitch~ Brad would notice it's different.   
Schu: No, he wouldn't. Trust me. I could get my hair cut like Farfie's and he wouldn't notice.   
Verie: ... .... ...   
Farfie: .... dots hurt God.   
Schu: No. They don't.   
Farf: Do.   
Schu: Don't.   
Farf: do.   
Schu: don't.   
Verie: -.-; just stop before this gets out of hand. *CERTAIN* people keep yelling at me whenever I write arguments in my fics. They get too long.   
Schu: don't.   
Verie: ~death glare~ Don't make me make you cross dress.   
Schu: o.o;   
Shinigami: Leave Schu alone.   
Schu: jah!   
Verie: ... STOP GANGING UP ON MEEEE! ~sob~ .. and stuff.   
Others: -.-;   
Blue-Censor-Dot: ~floats there~   
Narrator: When are we starting? If we don't start soon, I'm charging over-time.   
Schu: Why is it the dot and the narrator are the only peopel who get over-time?   
Verie: ... ... I don't know. They just do. ... The Narrator because I can't force it to be here.   
Narrator: .. Don't call me an "it"   
Verie: ... .. they.   
Narrator: .. wtf? o.o;   
Verie: .. I really have no idea... BUT IT GOT MY HAIR CUT. And that's FINAL.   
Schu: Brad-wannabe. Your bangs aren't long enough, though.   
Verie: >.; leave my bangs alone. And they WILL be long enough. SOMEDAY. ~cackles evilly~   
Yohji: .. Brad better watch out. Soon she'll be wearing a cream suit and everything.   
Verie: ... ~sniffle~ I almost got one.. once... it's on my to-do list. Right now I have a tacky suit the color of Schu's coat-   
Schu: hey! -.-;   
Verie: and a tan suit.. a blue suit jacket like the one Brad has in the shitajiki, and a pin-striped suit jacket. ^_^   
Ken: ... you officially creep me out.   
Verie: -.-; Leave me alone. Suits rock. You're a fashion victim.   
Ken: Not as much as Omi or Yohji.   
Omi&Yohji: HEY!   
Verie: good point.   
Omi&Yohji: -.-;   
Narrator: I'm officially charging over-time.   
Verie: OK, OK! >.; eesh. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Brad grumbled irritably. "They're late." He mumbled. "I'm not surprised." Nagi replied. "I hate this." Brad grumbled, again. "You've mentioned that. Various times within the past fifteen minutes. And where did Schu go?" Nagi asked, looking around. "Offstage, no doubt. He mentioned something about pocky." Brad said. "... Pocky?" Nagi whimpered. "... You join them, and I'll kill you when we get out of this." Brad glared. "If you'd cooperate, I'm sure they'd let you go." Nagi said. "NEVER! NEVER WILL I REDUCE MYSELF TO SUCH INDIGNITY WILLING!" Brad exclaimed, dramatically jumping onto a rock. ".. Brad, stop being dramatic and leave the rock alone." Verie said, some-what entertained by this. Brad grumbled and jumped down. "You're LATE." He glared. "Nah, I'm just early for the next chapter." Verie said. ".. That made no sense." Nagi stated. "... .... .... Shut up." Verie mumbled. "Ha. You admit it." Nagi said. "Leave me alone! And Brad! Guess what!" Verie exclaimed happily. "What?" Brad asked irritably. "Guueeeess." "You're annoying." Brad glared. "We already knew that, so guess again." Verie replied. Brad glared at her for fifteen minutes. "For **_deity deleted to protect the religous_**'s sake, Crawford. She got a haircut." Nagi said. "Naagii!!! You weren't supposed to tell him!" Verie whined. "I got tired of sitting here. If we waited for him to figure it out, we'd be here for decades." Nagi said. "We would not." Brad said irritably. "And it's not my fault I didn't notice. Your hair looks no different." Brad said. "IT DOES TOO! WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT?!" Verie whined. "Because it doesn't." Brad stated. "... ... You're all evil." Verie glared. "Thank you. I try." Brad said. "... ... I'd hate you if you weren't so cool." Verie sighed. Brad arched an eyebrow. "That-" "MADE NO SENSE! I KNOW!" Verie sobbed. "... Ok, that's it. So we're beginning right? So we have to move?" Brad asked. "... Jah. So move. Start.. traveling. In fact, we can all sing-" With that, Crawford and Nagi were long gone. "... I foresaw that." Verie said stupidly. ".. Leave me alone. Or I'll fire you." Verie glared, despite the fact that I'm the only narrator that will work for her because she's brutally maimed all her others. "... ... I hate narrators..." Verie grumbled, and walked offstage. 

And thus, our heroes traveled. And traveled. And stuff. And then, they arrived at a kingdom! 

"Brad, son, you're late!" A guy who looked suspiciously like Yohji exclaimed. Brad's eyes widened. "Did you just... call me... son?" He asked in horror. ".. It's not my fault, the script called for it. Really." Yohji explained. Brad looked positively terrified. "Now, my boy! Now we're off to see Princess Omette!" Yohji exclaimed happily, putting his arm around Brad and dragging him off. "DON'T TOUCH ME! I REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN THIS!" Brad screamed, Nagi hung back, hoping he wouldn't be cast as anything. Meanwhile, Schu randomly ran on-stage and malleted Brad, knocking him unconscious so that Yohji could drag him off to the next scene. 

And so, Princess Omette and Prince Bradley hated each other. ... Literally. Brad really hated Omi, but since that's actually the plot here, it's ok! Yay for Bradley! "Shut. The. **_Censored_**. Up." Brad glared. .. Fine, we'll get on with things. Anyhow, so Brad and Omette were running around fighting while Yohji and Manx sang like idiots. "Bradley's quite a caaatch!" This is my idea-" "This is MY idea." "OF A MATCH." "FOR THE LOVE OF **_DEITY DELETED_** STOP SINGING!! YOU'RE ADVANCING THE PLOT! AND WORSE, NEITHER OF YOU CAN SING!!!! AND MANX, YOU'RE WORSE THAN SCHULDICH! AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING!!" Brad yelled. "Bradley, you're supposed to be getting 'along' with Omette." Yohji said. "I REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN THIS! I HATE YOU ALL! .. And did those peasants just sing something about lowering taxes?" Brad glared. "Why yes, yes they DID. Because the song's been going on while you've been griping and now I've missed my parts!" Yohji whined, despite the fact the entire thing was a tape playing somewhere... and I can't say where because I can already tell Brad is looking for it to crush it. "Do you really BLAME me?!" Brad demanded. No, I don't, but still. I'm getting paid for this, so stop messing it up. Brad grumbled and threw a stick at Omette. "Very mature, Crawford." Omette said. "... Shut up." Brad mumbled. 

Supposedly a couple years later, which is only a couple minutes , Brad and Omette were supposedly a lot older. .. But really only a couple minutes older. "A couple minutes that I could have spent doing something much more productive." Brad glared. And you're not allowed to talk during my narrative. ".. I don't care." Brad grumbled, throwing down his cards on the table. "Omette won again. And why am I cast as the stupid friend?" Nagi asked. Omette grinned. "Oh shut up." Brad glared, picking up a random card and throwing it at Omette. You see, they were playing cards, which really holds no purpose except it's part of the song that they DIDN'T sing. "... I refuse to sing such idiocy." Brad said bluntly. So the scene fast forwarded again. 

Brad and Omette are shoved into a room. "I hate you." Brad glared. "Ditto." Omette said. "YOU TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE EACH OTHER IN THIS SCENE! Because you're older and stupider now!" Yohji yelled from offstage. "I REFUSE TO FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!" Brad screeched. "Fine. Narrator, fast forward to when they're supposed to get married." Verie said, magically appearing. Brad screamed some more. And then, magically they were in a ball room. 

"So what do you love about me?" Omi asked unhappily, because he's a bad actor. "I DON'T LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU! H-A-T-E. INFACT, I *LOATHE* YOU!!!" Brad exclaimed. Yohji and Manx frowned. "That's not the right line..." Manx mumbled. "It works." Yohji said. 

And then a lot of stuff happened, including Nagi losing at chess. "I hate playing chess with Crawford..." Nagi mumbled. Shut up for a second, Nagi. And then Manx got a nice death scene, despite the fact that Verie messed up the casting because she's odd. Anyhow, jah, Manx died, and Omette got a spell cast on her.. him... whatever by the evil Aya. So now he/she turns into a swan and stuff! YEAH! Maulings of Swan Lake hurt **_deity deleted_**, yeah! ... ... I've been hanging around these idiots for too long. 

And Verie's making us skip over a lot of stuff again because she doesn't trust Nagi with a bow and arrow, while aiming at Brad. .. And apparently she doesn't trust Crawford's ability to catch an arrow either. "I'm offended." Brad muttered. "Braddie, you're not clairvoyant right now. So, no. No archery stuff. It's just useless filler anyway." Verie stated, appearing randomly. "Stop calling me that." Brad glared. "Anyhow, everyone hold on." Verie said, flipping through a bunch of pages on the script. "Useless filler.. Brad refuses to sing... useless singing filler... entrance of Farf and Ken... .. we'll skip that and they can come in later if they're really important. um... hold on...." Verie flipped through some more pages of useless singing. "The Swan Princess is stupid." Brad glared. "We already knew that, Crawford." Nagi stated. "... This movie makes no sense. ... There's more plotholes than Weiss.. and that's saying something." Verie blinked, throwing more useless pages around. "A-HA! Confrontation between Aya and Omette! WEE!" Verie exclaimed, so we fast forward again. 

"Marry me, Omette. ... shi-ne, Verie." Aya glared offstage. "You ask the same question every night, and every night I answer no! Oh woe is me! I'd rather die! Blah blah blah!" Omette exclaimed dramatically. Meanwhile, Farf was once again a frog.. now Farf-Bob. And he was joined by Ken, aka Speed the turtle. And.. um... Schu the puffin bird thing. Wee. Anyhow, Omette turned into a swan, Schu pretended to care. "I really don't." Schu said slyly, glancing at Ken. "Speed, eh? I always knew you were on SOMETHING." Schu snickered. "Shut up. I am not on speed." Ken glared. ".. Forget to take your ritalin today, Kenny?" Schu asked. 

So the scene switched to Yohji. "Yay! A bunch of fangirls are coming to the ball!" Yohji danced happily. He glared at the letters. "... Crawford shouldn't have this many fangirls..." He glared angrily. "Verie! YOU WROTE ALL OF THESE DIDN'T YOU?!" He yelled offstage. "Well duh, Yohji. Anyhow, it's in representation of fellow Brad fangirls. So HA." Verie answered. "Crawford doesn't have this many fangirls." Yohji glared. "Sure he does." Verie said, walking on stage, picking up one of the thousands of letters. "He does not! I don't even have this many fangirls!" Yohji exclaimed. "With good reason." Verie snickered. "... ... I HAVE MORE FANGIRLS THAN CRAWFORD!" Yohji exclaimed. "... ...Let's just move on to the next scene before I have to avenge Brad." Verie stated. So we fast forward to Brad in the library. 

... Brad, you're supposed to be searching through tons of books. Not reading a Stephen King novel! "... Stephen King novels, searching wildly like a moron.. it's all the same in the end." Brad stated, turning the page. "Brad, go pick up that green book over there." Verie said. "No. I'm going to finish the Shining." Brad said. "Bradley." Verie glared. "... No." Brad stated. "Bradley, I'll turn you Chibi Neko!" Verie threatened. Brad twitched. "FINE. But you'd better give me the book when we're done with this." Brad said, throwing the Shining at Verie and walking off to get the green book. "Fine." Verie said, and walked offstage. Brad picked up the book. "I must now go find the whatever animal. ... Animal? Where'd that come from?" He blinked in confusion. ".. I must've missed that part..." Verie blinked, reappearing. ".. Just pretend it makes sense." Verie said, and walked off. "... Right." Brad said, shoving Yohji out of the way before he could say his lines. "HEY! I HAD LINES! YOU CAN'T END THE SCE-" 

Meanwhile, Omette, Speed Ken, and.. Schufin, not to forget Farf-Bob, all stole a map. .. With a lot of useless references to... sports. Shudder. Fear. And singing. And Schu, if you don't stop singing, we'll all go deaf. "That's the point." Schufin snickered. .. Let's just fast forward again, shall we? "Gah.. you people go through scenes too quickly!" Verie mumbled, as fluttering of paper could be heard from offstage. "... Oy vey." Ken sighed. "GOT IT!" Verie declared. Peachy. 

So Brad and Nagi were out in the woods. With bows and arrows, and if you try anything Nagi, Verie will get angry. And vengeful. Brad arched an eyebrow at Nagi. "What? I wasn't going to try anything! REALLY!" Nagi exclaimed defensively. "... Why do I not believe you?" Brad asked. ".. Because I was lying, but that's not the point." Nagi said, firing off a random arrow to further the plot. 

"GAH! AN ARROW!" Shufin exclaimed. "... Wee. Brad. Yay." Omi said, and dove to the trees, because he's a swan. "HEY! BRAD'S MINE!" Schufin exclaimed, diving after him. "Mwaha! I get to shoot Weiss!" Brad exclaimed happily, glad he can have some form of weapon for this chapter. "BRAD! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HIT THEEEM!" Verie yelled from offstage. ".. Whatever." Brad grinned evilly, and ran off to attempt to shoot Omette. Or Shufin. He seemed to be aiming more towards Omette, though. Not that he had any personal reasons for that.. ahem. Brad paused. "What's that supposed to mean?!" Brad demanded. ".. Yaoi implications hurt **_deity deleted_**." Shinigami said, appearing on-stage sitting in a tree. Randomly. She then dodged an arrow, laughed evilly, and ran offstage. "I really hate you people." Brad mumbled, walking off to shoot Omette. 

So this continued, until finally Schufin decided to play dead. Brad walked over to him and nudge him with his foot, and Schu jumped up and kissed Brad, and flew off cackling. "**_CENSORED_** SCHULDICH!!!" Brad yelled, shooting more arrows randomly. 

And so, Omette and Shufin successfully lured Brad to the lake. Wee. And so, Omette flew into the water, and unfortunately, the moon was being covered by some clouds. ... Ha. ".. Not cool." Omette twitched, as Brad readied another arrow. Shufin flew at Brad's head. "SCHULDICH!" Brad yelled again. And then the cloud was gone and Omette turned into.. um... a cross dressing princess. Wee. ".. .. I hate you, Schu." Brad glared. "Haha. Poor Braddie. He's gotta go along with the plot some more." Schuldich snickered. ".. I REALLY hate you." Brad mumbled. "Hello? I'm over HERE. Feeling NEGLECTED." Omette said, waving his hands. "Oh shut up." Brad said. ".. Fine. I'll just continue without you. Oh! Oh! It's Aya! He's evil! He's got me under a spell! You can break the spell by making a vow of ever lasting love and proving it to the world but I don't know how you're going to do that! ... Oh yes! I'll come to your ball! BWEE!" Omette exclaimed. "... Whatever." Brad said, walking away. Aya appeared. "Omette! Who was that?" Aya asked evilly. "... ... I was practicing ventriloquism? .. Err.. Hey! I know! I'll marry you!" Omette exclaimed. ".. Shi-ne.. this is degrading..." Aya mumbled. Just say the lines. ".. Oh. Omette. I'm so happy. I'll be a good king. I'll throw away my tacky orange sweater --.. HEY! MY SISTER GAVE ME THAT!" Aya glared. JUST FINISH THE LINES. ".. Shi-ne, Narrator. .. and I'll trim my eartails and... I hate you all and you lied and I'm mad at you Omette and shi-NE." Aya said. ".. I will never be yours, you.. you.. CREATURE! ... And that's the best insult I could think up.. eesh.. I'm pathetic. ... anyhow, jah, you'll have to kill me blah blah blah..." Omette said, completely abandoning the script. "There's no moon tomorrow night." Aya said. ".... **_CENSORED_**!" Omette exclaimed. "MWAHAHAHA! . Shi-ne. all of you." Aya said, walking back to his place, where he had Sakura as his.. ... side-kick person.... and he had his own song! 

".. I refuse to sing." Aya glared. ... You're so annoying, Aya. Now we'll have to skip MORE. "Or we could just play another tape." Sakura suggested. And she doesn't have any lines so she shouldn't be able to SUGGEST ANYTHING. ".. Fine." She pouted. Anyhow. NEXT SCENE. 

"I refuse to do this." Brad said stubbornly. Eesh, Brad, all you have to do is make shadow puppets and rant about swans. "I REFUSE." Brad glared. Just do it, Brad. ".. Shi-ne. I want white roses. Woo. Only have bird food. Play SWAN MUSIC. Oy vey.. I hate you all... like a swan this, like a swan that, swan swan swan SWAN **SWAN!**" Brad yelled. "And where's Nagi?" He asked irritably. You said a line correctly, Bradley, we're so PROUD. ... I really have been around you people too long. "..That was a line?" Brad asked, as the scene switched. 

"It hurts me to lock you up and shi-ne. Here, have a guy to make you feel better." Aya said, shoving Nagi into the.. dungeon... thing.. where Omette was. "And being late is tacky. Like Verie. So I'm leaving. Because my evil plan is to make Sakura dress up as Omette and stuff. Ha ha." Aya said, walking off. ".. Dude... that's uncool. It's not my fault I'm late, blame my mom." Verie mumbled. ".. Well.. this is awkward." Nagi mumbled. 

"I've got an idea. I great idea. AN EXCELLENT IDEA!" Schufin exclaimed. ".. We don't care." Speed Ken said. "Fine. We knock a hole in the thing, save Omette, and then we can torture Brad! MWAHA!" Schufin declared. ".. Right." Speed Ken said. Schufin broke into song again. And thus thousands of people went deaf. ".. You're so cruel, Narrator." Schufin mumbled. And that's THE Narrator to you. "Alligators hurt **_deity deleted_**." Farf-Bob said. ".. His psychopath's got a point." Speed Ken. "It wouldn't hurt of Farf did all the work." Schufin said, sitting back. ".. Wee?" Farf-Bob asked. Schufin broke into song, so we went on to the next song hurriedly. 

"Now, I know some of you hate beauty pageants..." Yohji declared. "YES. WE DO. ALL OF US." The crowd glared. This included Verie, Shinigami, and everyone else who hasn't been cast as someone else. And so Yohji started singing about the Brad fangirls, as Brad sat there and read his book. "And they all have bad taaaaste!" Yohji exclaimed, as the Crawford fangirls paraded around, mumbling about how they hate the way they've been dressed up for this. ".. And this is why I didn't play the part of a princess myself." Verie stated to Shinigami. "... da." Shinigami blinked. ".. Too much pink..." Verie twitched. Anyhow, so then Yohji went to open the door and Sakura disguised as Omette walked in! There was silence through out the room, especially from Brad, who read his book. Sakura tugged on Brad's sleeve to attempt to get him to dance with her. "Stop that. Or I'll send you my dry cleaning bill too." Brad glared. 

"I dislike being used as a distraction for alligators..." Speed Ken whimpered. "Shut up." Schufin said, and so Farf-Bob went and swam through the hole thingie int othe dungeon and WOO. Speed Ken swam in too, as Schufin hung out on shore. So they rescued Omette, and he/she flew off to find Brad. Wee. 

Meanwhile, Sakura was still trying to get Brad to dance with her. "... But.. you HAVE too. I'm OMELETTE!" Sakura whined. ".. Did you just say Omelette?" Brad arched an eyebrow. ".. No?" Sakura asked. ".. Whatever. Vow vow vow. There. Happy?" Brad asked. Omette screamed and fell out of the sky from outside. Aya barged in. "MWAHA! SHI-NE!!!" He exclaimed. Sakura turned back into herself. "... ... I hate this casting. ... Oh. Dear. It's not Omette. I'm sad. NOT." Brad said, barging out the door. 

And so Omette flew back to Schufin, Speed Ken and Farf-Bob, and turned back into a human and passed out. Brad magically came and found her. "Gee. I feel so guilty. I'm leaving now." Brad said, walking off. "Hey! The story's not over yet! We have a fight scene!" Aya whined. "... .... As much as I hate passing up a chance to fight with you, I'm still leaving." Brad said. Verie appeared, and whacked Brad with a glowstick. "You're going to kick Aya's **_censored_** and that's FINAL." She glared. ".. Fine." Brad grumbled, knocking Aya unconscious with the glowstick. ".. .. That was uncool, Brad." Verie sighed. "Ok.. let's um.. .. replace.. Aya with.. Yohji! Yes, that works." Verie said, as some extras came onstage to drag Aya away. ".. Hn." Brad mumbled. ". actually, let's just import a randomly badly drawn dragon. That works too." Verie declared. so we did. 

Anyhow, so Brad acted like he couldn't easily whack this monster with the glowstick, and then Nagi came and whacked it with a blunt arrow and everyone was happy. Wee. So then Brad ran to Omette. ... I said, Brad ran to Omette. CRAWFORD! "I refuse. I REFUSE." Brad glared, so he and Nagi walked away. And Omette never woke up. ... And they all lived happily ever after. 

"... That was the lamest fairytale EVER." Schufin declared. 

And he was right. 

*******************   


Verie: ... o.O; I place all blame on Shinigami/Nagi, who lent me this movie. It's the Swan Princess if you haven't figured that out by now. Gah... the worst part, I had to WATCH it. .. And actually, it's still playing. Which is basically why this chapter is so long, because I was actually watching the movie while I was writing it. (Thus explaining the parts where I was rushing through the script... ... I was fast forwarding at those points >.;) Anyhow.. yes. Another chapter! Woo!! ... Poor Brad. Oh well, I mean to put Jimmy Sprinkles/Omi in this.. but I didn't. Too bad. I'll have to make a mental note to do that sometime. Mwahahaha. Feareth. 


	10. Lets Sing Rudolph in Japanese!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the abandoned studio that was currently the headquarters of the production of Prince Crawford, not an idiot was stirring, not even Schuldich (who had found a rusty pair of scissors during our ahem... "short" [yeah, right] break and was now devoted to terrorizing everyone with them). 

No stockings were hung by the chimney with care, because for one thing, production studios (even abandoned ones) don't _have_ chimneys. And Verie's too cheap to buy stockings anyway. 

All of our favorite morons were snug in their beds, with really stupid dreams dancing in their really stupid heads. 

Then suddenly, the moronic author awoke with a fright! .. And started screaming bloody murder. Oy vey. 

"What the hell happened?!" Schuldich demanded, as everyone barged in. "I've been STABBED. In the *EYE*!" Verie screamed. Everyone looked around for Farfie, who was nowhere to be seen. 

"... I mean, by my bangs." Verie said, pointing to her heavily gelled bangs. "... You woke us up for THAT?!!" Schuldich demanded, you see, Schuldich is very fond of his sleep. "... Well, it HURTS." Verie whined. Schuldich waved his rusty scissors threateningly. Verie cowered behind Shinigami. Suddenly, a revelation struck her! 

".. Guys.. where's Brad and Nagi?" Verie asked. ".. They're onstage, where they've been for the past month." Ken said. Verie sweatdropped. "Eh.. heh.." "... You mean it wasn't your cruel, horrible, plan to leave them out there for Christmas?" Schuldich asked. "'Course not! I'd only do that to you! ... And probably Brad! But not Nagi! He's an innocent bystander in all this." Verie exclaimed. ".. You'd better go get them, then. I, however, am going to sleep." Schuldich said, and walked back to his room. 

So Verie ran onstage, and woke up Brad and Nagi, who were sleeping (.. obviously.. because you can't wake up someone who's already awake..). 

Brad jumped up and glared at Verie angrily. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG WE'VE BEEN SITTING HERE?!!!" He demanded. ".. Erm.. do you?" Verie asked. ".. No, I gave up counting. That's why I was asking." Brad glared. ".. Ah.. ha... erm.. a little more than a um.. month..." Verie sweatdropped. "A MONTH?!!!! WE'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR A **_CENSORED_** MONTH?!!!!!" Brad yelled, waving his glowstick threateningly. "... Yes." Verie whimpered. "I'LL KILL YOU!!!" Brad yelled, advancing on Verie with the glowstick. Verie, knowing there was only one thing that could stop this, started screaming bloody murder again. She's good at that. 

"FOR **_CENSORED_** SAKE, CRAWFORD! LEAVE HER THE **_CENSORED_** ALONE SO SHE'LL SHUT UP!!!" Nagi yelled. Brad decided that, for the sake of his ears, he would do so, and put the glowstick down. "Ok, you see.. I have something else to say." Verie said, backing away from Brad.   
".. I have a feeling this is something that will make me want to brutally slaughter you." Brad glared. ".. Most probably. You see.. um... it's kind of.. Christmas.. tomorrow... and.. um.. jah." Verie nodded.   
".. .. I'm going to kill you." Brad stated. "PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME!" Verie sobbed pathetically. "You're only making me want to murder you more." Brad glared. ".. Erm.. right. Anyhow, you can't kill me because it's Christmas and that would be UNCOOL. ... And plus, you'd all be stranded here forever." Verie nodded. "... Good point." Brad blinked. "Anyhow, since I'm such a wonderful loving person, I'm letting you come offstage to join us for Christmas! Aren't I great?" Verie asked happily. "... I'm going to kill you." Brad said. ".. Right-o." Verie declared, and they all got to go offstage. 

"Anyhow... AHEM! Everyone! I have an anouncement!!!" Verie exclaimed, then frowned when no one came out of their rooms. Because they're asleep, and Verie's an idiot. 

"... Leave me alone, and wake everyone up." Verie glared. Fine, I WILL. AND EVERYONE WOKE UP. 

"... **_Censored_** narrators..." Schuldich mumbled as he woke up and gathered in the main offstage area. 

"Anyhow, everyone, since it's officially Christmas... because you see, it's midnight. So it's Christmas, we can all have presents and stuff!" Verie exclaimed happily.   
"... .... Riiiight... I'm going to go sleep now..." Schuldich mumbled, but Verie used her evil death glare on him, so he stayed. Yay. 

Anyhow, so our favorite morons opened their presents, (which included the tie Shinigami got Verie for Christmas, and Verie is rather happy about that, and she WON'T SHUT UP about it, so shi-ne Shinigami), and Schuldich got a non-rusty pair of scissors, and Brad got a new glowstick (because his old one had stopped glowing, you see) and everyone was happy. 

Especially Jimmy Sprinkles, who, since the sudden disappearance of her sister, Shinigami, had moved into Shinigami's room (and thus, moved out of the "closet with a closet") and proceeded to read all of Shinigami's graphic novels. The only clue to Shinigami's disappearance was an odd message only the answering machine, which was in German. Luckily, Shinigami's dad knows German, so they managed to decode most of it and stuff. Jimmy wasn't really worried, because she recognized the insane rabid squirrel laughter at the end to be Schu. .. Why she wasn't worried, we may never know. BUT OH WELL. 

Anyhow, back to the studio, Schuldich was chasing Verie with his new scissors, because her bangs had stabbed her again, and he wanted to chop them off so he wouldn't be woken up by her screaming anymore. 

And Brad was chasing Verie with his new glowstick, because of the whole leaving him out in the middle of nowhere for a month thing. 

And Aya was chasing Brad, because he got a spiffy new katana he wanted to try out. 

And Ken was playing soccer, and successfully breaking all the windows. 

And everyone else was wondering why the angel on the Christmas tree was a guy, had silver hair, and only one wing.... 

.. Because no one gets Verie's blatant references, and frankly, we don't want to know. 

And so, as this chapter comes to and end.... 

Omi: Merry Christmas to all!   
Verie: And feliz navidad!   
Brad: I bet you feel real clever.   
Verie: Yup ^_^ I can speak random bits of Spanish! SQUEE!   
Shinigami: Meri kurisumasu no da!   
Brad: -.-;   
Verie: LET'S SING RUDOLPH IN JAPANESE!   
Brad: Let's not.   
Ken: Wait... isn't saying "Christmas" a reference to a religion, and thus should be censored?   
Verie: .. Shut up. Um... happy late Hanukkah! Happy Kwanza! Happy Emperor's Birthday! And um... Happy holidays! And for those of you who don't celebrate any winter holidays.. um... ... sorry, I can't think of anything to say. Erm... happy average day!   
Brad: Clever.   
Verie: ... Shut up -.-;   
Schuldich: Frohe Weihnachten!   
Shinigami: Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année no da!   
Verie: .. damn your French.   
Farfie: I was neglected in this chapter... Nollaig Shona duit!   
Verie: ... Damn your Gaelic. ~runs off and comes back with a list~ MWAHA!   
Natale hilare et Annum Faustum!   
Mele Kalikimaka ame Hauoli Makahiki Hou!   
Hyvää joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta!   
Shen tan jie kuai le!   
Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo!   
Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!   
Vesela Koleda i chestita nova godina!   
Geseknde Kersfees en 'n gelukkige nuwe jaar!   
Vesele Vanoce!   
Others: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?!!   
Verie: ^_^; Merry Christmas, and happy new year! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! 

**************************   


  


Verie: eh.. heh.. Sumimasen for the lack of new chapters.... school's been kinda busy and I've had writer's block. I've actually started a new chapter, but I'll probably scrap it and start over ;_;' So here's a special holiday chapter ^_^ about that last part... um... that's me being an idiot ^_^; I believe all of that says "Merry Christmas" or "Merry Christmas and happy new year" because I got it all off of this site... which is here: http://www.travlang.com/xmas.html if anyone wants to figure out what langauges I used. .. I honestly couldn't tell you, I just picked some langauges that I've actually heard of off of there and stuck them in... some of them are fairly obvious, though. Like the Hawaiian one. ^_^ Anyhow... I'll try to get a bunch of chapters uploaded now that it's vacation, but I'm not promising anything... mwahaha... there's a Gamecube waiting for me under the tree.... oooh.. merry Christmas indeed ^_~ I can play it while wearing my UBER-SPIFFY-TIE! ~cackles~ MWAHA!!! 

.. By the way... does anyone get my blatant reference? With the angel? ~sniffle~ Final Fantasy fans seem to be very hard to come by around here... 


	11. Squaresoft's gonna kill meee DISC 1: Par...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


*BACKSTAGE*   


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Verie: Well.. .we were supposed to do the Lion King.. but currently, I do not have custody of the T.V to WATCH the Lion King... so we're doing Final Fantasy VIII!   
Narrator: .. does that even have a prince...?   
Verie: ... Prince, Sorceress' Knight.. same difference.   
Shinigami: THAT MAKES NO SENSE NO DA!   
Others: Eh?   
Verie: She hates it when people say that ^_^   
Shinigami: -.-; da.   
Brad: ... so.. what the HELL is Final Fantasy VIII?   
Verie: Well... the way I'm seeing it... you're going to Squall, obviously. Squall's an angry and vengeful psychopath with a sword/gun combo thingie called a gunblade. He's... creepy. And he has a two word vocabulary, "whatever" and "...." even though "..." isn't a word. But oh well.   
Everyone: ~glances at Aya~   
Aya: ....   
Others: O.o; ~twitch~   
Verie: .. umm.. jah. Brad's going to be Squall, because if I cast Aya as Squall, Brad would have to be Seifer... and I'm making Schu Seifer.   
Schu: ... who's Seifer?   
Verie: He's Squall's rival. .. Seifer's kind of an idiot, but we all love him anyway. He has extremely bad grammar, and an anger management problem. Also, Squall is obsessed with Rinoa, and Rinoa used to be Seifer's girlfriend, infact, she never really broke up with him when she started going out with Squall, so we can all understand why Seifer's a bit pissed off.   
Schu: .. so.. what do I do?   
Verie: I'll get back to that. Umm.. Yohji is going to be Irvine.   
Yohji: Ne?   
Verie: Yohji is Irvine because Irvine is.. basically exactly like Yohji. Except with a shot gun. ... Which is kind of disturbing. But OH WELL. So.. moving on... um.. Farf's going to be Fujin... because they look exactly alike and that entertains me.   
Others: ~disturbed that there's a Farf look alike~   
Verie: ^_^ Squee. Fuj is great. She's got this funky speech thing going on where she only says one word sentences.... Such as "RAGE!" .. which is what she says before she kicks people ^_^   
Farf: .. does she hurt God?   
Verie: .. sure. Why not.   
Farf: ^_^   
Verie: and um.. that's.. all I've got so far. ^_^;   
Others: ~blink~   
Verie: anyhow.. let's start! ^_^   
  
  
  
  


***************** 

~*Disc 1*~ 

Because this is loosely based on a video game... Verie has instructed me to include the opening FMV... because apparently, that's a key part of the plot. .. I frankly don't understand it at all, but Verie assures us that you're not supposed to understand it until the end of the game. Which she has never gotten to, so how she knows this we may never know. 

Anyhow, so Ominoa... what the heck? ... Erm.. right.. Ominoa... was standing out in a field. And then there was some wind. Ooh.. wind! Flower petals! WEE. So the wind blew Ominoa's hair for a little bit, looking overly dramatic and stuff. And then Ominoa grabs a flower petal. ... I said, Ominoa grabs a flower petal. 

"I'm trying!!! The wind keeps blowing them away!!!" Ominoa exclaimed, chasing after the flower petals like an idiot. Oy vey. So Verie ran on-stage, and handed Ominoa a flower petal. There. So, Ominoa closed his/her hand, and then opened it again. AMAZING! The flower petal magically turned into a FEATHER. GASP. "Would you just shut up already?" Verie asked irritably. But why? This is stupid. "Leave FF8 alone... sure, it makes no sense, but do we really care? NO." Verie said, so we moved on. 

Anyhow, then, a strange glowstick/gun thing flies onscreen, in a convenient scene transition! WOW. So now we see...Prince Crawford. Because his script name is stupid. "Shi-ne, Verie." Brad mumbled. ".. What, it's not *MY* fault Brad and Squall just.. sounds really stupid when you combine them. So.. jah. You can be Brad Leonhart for this chapter..." Verie nodded. "... Leonhart...?" Brad arched an eyebrow. ".. Jah, that's his last name. Unless you want me to change it to Crawfishhart or something, but that would screw up a lot of symbolism and crap." Verie said. ".. Shi-ne." Brad mumbled again. Anyhow, back to the script... So Brad and Scheifer... .. o... kaaay.... "Just.. leave the names alone." Verie sighed. Right. Ok, so Brad and Scheifer had these strange glowstick/gun combination things... peachy. So then they started fighting. OOH. SPARKS. FUN. ... Schuldich, get up. You're not supposed to lose. 

"HA! I TOLD you Brad. But did you listen? Noooo!" Scheifer ranted. "I don't care about the script, I'm not going to lose a fight to.. ... 'Scheifer'.... ... right..." Brad said. "**_Censored_** Brad, follow the script or I'll dramatically alter it so that Squall falls in love with Selphie." Verie glared. "... Who?" Brad asked. "The girl I have Tot cast as." Verie said. Brad paled. "Yeah, that's what I thought. So Schu, get up, Brad get on the ground, so we can get the FMV thing over with...." Verie said, and walked off. So Brad and Scheifer changed places, and then there was this spiffy flash coming from Scheifer's hand, and we magically skip forward because the special effects for magic are expensive. WEEEEE! 

So now Brad's in the hospital. ".. I am?" Brad asked, looking around him. Yes, apparently, you are. And then Verie ran onstage with a marker and made a quick diagonal line starting on Brad's forehead and going to the top of the bridge of his nose. ".. What the...?!" Brad exclaimed, glaring at Verie. "You see, Squall has this nice little scar on his forehead from that previous battle... but we don't have any money, so we had to skip that part. But don't worry, because Scheifer has one too. you've got matching scars! Heehee.." Verie snickered. ".. I hate you. And I hate Squaresoft for making this game and thus encouraging your idiocy." Brad glared. "Yeah yeah... wipe off that marker and I'll have to make it permanent, and none of us want that." Verie said, and walked off. ".. Argh..." Brad mumbled. Then, some random girl played by Aya-chan walked in! "So, we meet again." She said. "Who the **_censored_** are you?" Brad asked. So Ayallone walked off. "... ... Um.. riiiight...." Brad blinked. 

Then, Dr. Shinigami walked in! 

"... What the....?" Brad blinked. "Yeah, apparently I'm cast as the doctor, no da." Shinigami said. "... I'm scared..." Brad twitched. "Actually, I don't do anything no da. Bye. .. Da." Shinigami walked out. "... ... That was... pointless..." Brad blinked. Just then, Ayastis walked in! .... These names just get stupider and stupider... argh. Anyhow, yes, it's Ayastis! 

".. Shi-ne, Verie." Ayastis mumbled. "Are you... wearing.. a skirt?" Brad twitched. "... Shi-ne. SHI-NE!!!" Ayastis twitched. "... .... I've officially been SCARRED FOR LIFE." Brad glared offstage. "Oh come on... Quistis is one of the very few video game women who actually wears a skirt that goes past her knees, so be thankful." Verie grumbled. "And Aya! SAY YOUR LINES!" Verie yelled. "... Blah blah blah... stuff.... I'm your instructor blah blah blah... shi-ne Verie, you still have to go to the fire cavern to do stuff. Meet me.. somewhere else." Ayastis walked away. "... ... Dang you, Aya." Verie mumbled. So anyhow, there was a scene transition, and Brad appeared in class! At Garden, which is the CLEVER name of the school he's at right now. ".. Great.. so I'm in school... peeeaaachy..." Brad mumbled. "Blah blah blah...." Ayastis ranted. "And Scheifer, no hurting your partner during training sessions!" Ayastis added, giving us an excuse to see Scheifer at the back of the class bang his fist on his desk. "And Brad, I need to see you after class." Ayastis said. ".. Erm... I think Brad's asleep." Scheifer blinked, and it was indeed so. Brad was infact asleep. "... Shi-ne." Ayastis mumbled. "Class over, blah blah blah!" Ayastis said, and ran out before he/she could be assigned any more lines. Scheifer kicked Brad awake, and walked off. "**_Censored_** Schu..." Brad mumbled, walking out of class. 

"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye! I'M LATE I'M LATE I'M LATE!!!!"   
Sudenly, Totophie (good **_censored_**... just when I though the names couldn't get any worse...) ran into him, knocking them both down! 

"AAAAAH!! TOT!!!!" Brad screamed, attempting to get away from Tot. "HI! I'M TOTOPHIE! I'M NEW HERE! I'M SORRY FOR BUMPING INTO YOU! BLAH BLAH BLAH! BABBLE BABBLE BABBLE! CAN YOU SHOW ME AROUND?!" Totophie babbled. Brad was no presented with a choice, yes, or no. 

"DEAR **_CENSORED_**!! **_CENSORED_** NO!!!!! AWAY!! AWAY DEMON CHILD!!!" Brad yelled, running to the elevator and desperately pressing the button for the first floor, successfully leaving Totophie stranded on the second floor. HUZZAH. 

So then Brad decided to go to the cafeteria, because apparently there is a scene Verie wants to write in here that takes place here. It entertains her, apparently. So Brad walked into the cafeteria, and who did he meet but Farfjin, Naijin and Scheifer! 

"SCHEIFER. DRINK?" Farfjin asked Scheifer. "....." Scheifer said, even thought that's not saying anything. ".. Can I drink some- . what the **_censored_**... ... This character talks like Schu!" Naijin whined. "Just read the script." Verie mumbled from offstage. "... ..Can I drink somethin'? I'd like some water... ya.. .know..." Naijin twitched. "IGNORE." Farfjin said, entirely happy with his part. "...." Scheifer sat there. Brad blinked and tried to talk to Farfjin. "WHAT?" Farfjin replied, obviously much to into this. Brad decided to talk to Scheifer. "... Brad, can't you see the disciplinary committee's busy? Don't bother us." Scheifer said. ".. The.. what?" Brad blinked. "Yeah, this is great! Apparently, I'm not only a badguy, but also the official knark in this school! I get to go around arresting kids! HOW SWEET IS THAT?!" Scheifer exclaimed happily. "... ... I'm fearful." Brad twitched. "I mean... eesh! How stupid can this principal guy BE?!" Scheifer ranted. "Ok, you can shut up now, Schu. I'm disturbed enough already." Brad said, deciding to talk to Naijin. Naijin glanced at his script and twitched some more. "Yo.. it's Brad... Oh.. yeah.. Farfjin's gonna treat, you know? Want somethin'?" Nagi twitched, cursing Verie for casting him as this character. "RAGE!" Farfjin exclaimed, kicking Naijin. "OW! **_CENSORED_**!! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THIS CHARACTER?!!!" Naijin exclaimed, glaring at Farfjin, who looked incredibly pleased with him/herself. "Just read the script, Nags. It'll all be over soon.. ... maybe." Verie said. Naijin twitched. "Blah blah blah horrible grammar watch out for Farfjin because she's a **_CENSORED_** ya know?" Naijin glared at Farfjin. "... Congratulations, Nags, you just completely ruined Raijin." Verie sighed. Naijin looked pleased with himself. "WHAT?" Farfjin demanded. ".. Eh.. NOTHING!" Naijin exclaimed, not wanting to get kicked again. 

Then, Kell conveniently ran in! ... Kell? ... Er.. right. Ken, but now KELL. Argh... 

"Do you have... any hotdogs left?" He panted to the cafeteria lady, Shinigami. ".. Why am I getting cast as all the bit parts, no da?! Erm... you're a bit late, no da. We're all sold out, no da." Shinigami said. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOT AGAIN!!!" Kell whined. Everyone blinked, and realized that was actually in the script, and blinked again. "... Now I have to debate which character is stupider... mine, or his." Naijin blinked. So Kell walked out, his part being over. 

"... Speeding. Let's go arrest that student for violation of academy regulations!! MWAHA! .. I love this role." Scheifer exclaimed, running out. "AFFIRMATIVE." Farfjin said, following. ".. Roger.. ya know..." Naijin twitched, walking off. "... ... Ok.. that's it. This is even worse than the Swan Princess." Brad grumbled, leaving the cafeteria and walking to the front gate, where Ayastis was waiting for him. 

"... You got a new skirt." Brad blinked. ".. Shi-ne." Ayastis glared. "Anyhow... we have to go to the fire cavern because you're an idiot, and you didn't do that BEFORE." Ayastis said. "Oh shut up." Brad mumbled. So they went to the fire cavern! Where they met some people with plates over their faces. STRAW plates! ... ... ... Squaresoft is on crack.... seriously.. plates... 

"... I'm scared." Brad twitched. "Blah blah, select a time, no da." Shinigami mumbled, taking the plate off her face. "THAT'S IT, VERIE NO DA! I _REFUSE_ TO WEAR A PLATE OVER MY FACE NO DA!" Shinigami exclaimed irritably. "Fine, fine. But that's the style of the psychotic staff!" Verie whined. "I don't care, no da!!!" Shinigami exclaimed. "Fine, fine." Verie sighed. "... Erm.. whatever." Brad blinked, and just walked into the cavern without selecting a time.   
"YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE A TIME LIMIT NO DAAAAAA!!!" Shinigami exclaimed, but Brad and Ayastis were already in the cavern. 

They came to the end of the cavern, where they saw.. absolutely nothing. Verie, where's the giant monster? ".. Erm.. you see... I don't have an Final Fantasy plushies or any merchandise other than some playing cards...so I thought we could have the guardian forces represented by little colored paperclips! See, red could be Ifrit and light blue could be Shiva and yellow could be Quezacotl.. and purple could be Bahamut! And green could be Tonberry and.. JAH!" Verie sweatdropped. ... This is the worst funded project I have EVER worked on.... oy vey... 

".. Wait... I'm fighting a... colored paperclip..." Brad blinked. ".. Actually, I just realized I don't HAVE any colored paperclips!" Verie sweatdropped. Everyone face faulted. "... Hold on, I'll get my decks of cards and see if I have an Ifrit card... If not, I can print out a screenshot of him, and then you can fight that!" Verie exclaimed happily. So she ran off, and then came back with her cards. "EUREKA! IFRIT CARD!" She exclaimed happily. "... Whatever." Brad mumbled. So then, Brad and Ayastis beat up Verie's Ifrit card. Bwee. Ayastis had a... whip... which is disturbing, so moving on, and Brad had his amazing glow stick/gun combo thingie. Bweee. So they beat Ifrit, and got him as a guardian force. Woo. They also have Shiva and Quezacotl, because you get them at the beginning of the game. Wee. 

So Brad went back to Garden.... where he had to do a field exam! Which meant that he had to be put into a team! GASP. 

"... Hello, I'm Headmaster Shinigami no da... I'm being stuck playing the entire staff of this school, because Verie's afraid she'll run out of characters no da. I'm going to split you up into a group, because that's what the script says no da. So, since this character is apparently stupid no da, I'm making you Squad C, and your group will be comprised of Kell, Brad and Scheifer... no da." Shinigami blinked. Ayastis sat there. Farfjin and Naijin walked off. "Ok, here's a ground rule: we're a team, and by team, they mean, stay out of my way! MWAHAHAHAHA!!" Scheifer exclaimed. "... You're a complete nutcase." Brad mumbled, while Kell did some backflips and stuff. And then punched the floor. ".. Clever one, chicken-wuss." Scheifer said to Kell. "What did you call me?!!" Kell demanded. Scheifer pointed to some notes on his script. "See? It says I have to take every given opportunity to call you a chicken-wuss, chicken-wuss." Scheifer smirked. "... I hate this..." Kell mumbled, punching the floor again. "OW! .. **_Censored_**, that HURTS." Kell whined, glaring at his script, which told him he had to do that often. ".. Yeah, you're a chicken-wuss." Scheifer said, walking off. Everyone followed, because he's Scheifer. And if they don't, he'll probably arrest them. Weeeeeee! 

So, then they got on this boat, and went to a place called Dollet, where there's currently a war going on. "Blah blah blah.... insert instructions here.... blah blah blah." Ayastis said. "... You're really not helping us any." Brad mumbled. "I had no intention too. Because I'm hoping to be recast." Ayastis stated. "Fat chance, Aya." Verie said, examining her list of characters. "Shi-ne, Verie. Anyhow.. yes. According to the script you're not going to listen to me anyway. So... shi-ne." Ayastis said, walking off. 

"... That's great. That's just great." Brad mumbled. Meanwhile, Kell was "shadow-boxing", which is basically pretending to box with an imaginary opponent. "What's up, chicken-wuss? Swatting flies?" Scheifer snickered. "**_CENSORED CENSORED_**! DON'T CALL ME THAT!!" Kell exclaimed, tackling Scheifer and trying to choke him. "HEY! GET OFF OF ME! THAT WAS PART OF THE SCRIPT!!" Scheifer exclaimed, kicking Kell until he gave up on choking him. ".. I hate this." Kell mumbled. "Don't choke me for following the script... chicken-wuss." Scheifer said happily. ".... One more time, Schuld- .. Scheifer.. and I will kill you." Kell glared. "Really, chicken-wuss?" Scheifer snickered. "ARGH!" Kell exclaimed, banging his head on the table. "... Leave the table alone. Or at least be in character and punch it." Brad said. ".... Shi-ne, Brad. Shi-ne." Kell grumbled. 

Then, they landed at Dollet. "Ok, Squad A, do stuff, you don't matter anyway! Squad B, do stuff. You don't really matter either. And Squad C, you go over and do what I told you to do a little while ago." Ayastis said. ".. Which was nothing." Brad stated. "Exactly." Ayastis said. Squad C walked into the town and found a fountain to sit by. "... This is boring..." Scheifer whined. "Yeah, when do we get to do something?!" Kell exclaimed. Brad just sat there. Then, a really annoying dog walked up to Scheifer and started barking. "... Dude.. that's just.. uncool. Uncool, man." Scheifer said, glaring at the dog. Which didn't go away. "... Guys.. this dog is creeping me out..." Scheifer whimpered, backing away from it. It followed him. "Ok, THAT'S IT!!" Scheifer exclaimed, waving his newly titled Glowblade (yes, they glowstick/gun combos are now glowblades! .... Argh.. this is lame...) at the dog. The dog ran around in a circle, and came back and started barking at Scheifer again. "... That's it. Let's all go away. This dog scares me." Scheifer said. "Hey, Brad. Since I'm squad leader.. that means I get to boss YOU around for once!!" Scheifer exclaimed, "so.. dance! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!" Scheifer exclaimed. Brad death glared him. "You are so dead when we get out of this." He glared. Scheifer pouted. "C'mooon! Humor me here, Brad!!" Scheifer whined. "I will humor you by not killing you right here." Brad glared. Scheifer pouted some more. "Veeeriieee.. he's not listening to my ordeeeers..." He whined. "I don't blame him. Now just.. move on with the plot. Which has been completely screwed up but we'll ignore that for now." Verie sighed. Suddenly, a bunch of evil Galbadian soldiers were walking by, not noticing Brad, Scheifer and Kell because they were hiding behind a fountain. "I'm assuming that's the enemy." Brad mumbled. ".. Wow. You actually said something that's semi in the script! I'm proud, Braddie." Scheifer said. "Shut the **_censored_** up." Brad glared. So then the camera conveniently panned to a comm tower! "Hey look. A comm tower." Scheifer stated. "No **_censored_**." Brad rolled his eyes. "Let's go!" Scheifer exclaimed. ".. But that's against our non-existant orders." Kell stated. "I just want to get this over with, and the camera wouldn't have conveniently panned to the comm tower if it weren't of some form of importance to the plot, which we must further before I go crazy because this coat is fuzzy and it's scaring me." Brad twitched, because Squall wears a FUZZY COAT. .. Erm.. jah. "Which means Brad wants to go wreak havoc with me, as opposed to listening to a chicken-wuss." Scheifer stated. "If you call me that one more time...." Kell twitched. And so our team headed out! Onwards! "Oh just SHUT UP." Verie grumbled. Fine, be that way. Just trying to add some drama, but noooo.... 

Then they came to a soldier. "Great.. now I get to a be a soldier, no da?" Shinigami muttered. "Apparently." Brad blinked. Shinigami flipped through her script. "Let's see... badguys headed for comm tower, which is where you're going.. monsters, oh look, I'm being attacked by a monster, bye." Shinigami got up and walked away. "Monsters, ne?" Brad blinked. "That sucks." Kell mumbled. "More fun for us! Because I'm a badguy with no sense! MWUAHAHAHAHA!! ADD BRAD TO THE LIST!!" Scheifer snapped his fingers like a lunatic. "... I'm not even going to ask." Brad sighed, moving on. 

So then our three.... .. I'm not entirely certain what they are, but they entered the comm tower. "Mwaha. I love battles. I fear nothing! They way I look at it, as long as you get out alive, you're one step closer to fulfilling your dream!" Scheifer exclaimed. "... What the **_censored_**?" Brad blinked. "You have a dream too, don't you? Because otherwise, why aren't I the main character? Because I mean.. this character is way cooler than your character. Seriously." Scheifer stated. "You people are neglecting me." Kell said. ".. Who cares?" Scheifer blinked. "... **_Censored_** you." Kell mumbled. 

"There you are! TEE-HEE!" Totophie exclaimed, tripping over some rocks and landing at Brad's feet. "GAH! YOU!!!" He screamed, hiding behind Scheifer. "You know, Brad... I'm not your human shield. SO DON'T USE ME AS ONE." Scheifer exclaimed, moving away. "Are you.. Squad C?" Totophie asked. "... If I say 'no', will you go away?" Brad looked hopeful. "No, because the script says you ARE Squad C." Totophie replied. "**_Censored._** I'm Totophie, from Squad A! I'm here to give the Squad Leader a message." Totophie nodded. Everyone looked around, and noticed Scheifer was gone. So the looked down, and saw he was below the cliff thingies they were on. "Someday, I'll tell ya about my ROMANTIC dream!" Scheifer exclaimed, running off. "... That's it. I'm scarred for life. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, SCHULDICH!!!" Brad yelled. "Great... he just had to conveniently run off before I could deliver the message!" Totophie whined, jumping off the cliff to follow him. "Dude.. Brad.. you're not gonna jump, are ya?? I mean.. it's CLIFF man." Kell whimpered. "Oh shut up. I want to get this over with." Brad mumbled, pushing Kell off the cliff, and jumping after him. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Kell exclaimed. 

Anyhow, so, back with Scheifer. "DAAAA!!" Shinigami exclaimed, playing yet ANOTHER miscellaneous soldier. "MWAHA! COWARDS!!" Scheifer exclaimed. "Keep that glowstick thing away from me no da." Shinigami twitched, walking off again. So Scheifer walked off to do other stuff. "Heeey! The captain's getting awaaay!!" Totophie whined, chasing after him. "Why, praytell, do we EVEN CARE?!!! Argh... **_CENSORED_** SCHEIFER, COME BACK HERE!!! I WANT TO HURRY UP AND GET THIS OVER WITH!!!" Brad yelled, chasing after. So they all took the elevator. Because the tower was spiffy, and actually HAD an elevator. Woo. "WEE! ELEVATOR!!" Totophie exclaimed happily, bouncing up and down. Then she tripped and almost fell out, but luckily Brad grabbed her. "If you fall, I'll kill you. Because apparently your character is important, and so if you fall, we have to go back down and get you. And that will be wasting my time. Got that?" Brad glared. "... WEE! ELEVATOR!!" Totophie exclaimed. "... I hate you." Brad mumbled. So they got to the top of the tower. "WEE! The elevator ride is over! HEE!" Totophie exclaimed. ".. Must.. resist.. urge.. to push..." Brad twitched, dragging Totophie away from the elevator. "Hey look, a monster-shaped shadow. ... How could a shadow be monster-shaped?! THAT MAKES NO SENSE NO DA!!! Argh... Why do I have to play the bit parts, no da?!" Shinigami mumbled. "... Great. So we get to fight a colored paperclip, right?" Brad mumbled. "Oh look. It's people. I'm going to take this funky gun-like thing that shoots nerf balls and threaten you no da. Woo." Shinigami mumbled, holding a nerf gun. Then Scheifer magically jumped in and knocked the gun from Shinigami's hand. "Sorry to crash the party. ... Don't tell me that wasn't cool. That was COOL man! COOL!" Scheifer exclaimed. ".. You're crazy no da." Shinigami blinked. "Just shut up!! THAT WAS COOL! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU PEOPLE SAY!!" Scheifer exclaimed. Suddenly, a gust of wind came and blew Shinigami away. ".. This is degrading no da." She mumbled. 

"Wee!! Squad C captain! I have new orders!! All SeeD members and candidates are to report to withdraw at 1900 hours. Assemble at the shore!" Totophie exclaimed. "... WHY THE **_CENSORED_** DIDN'T YOU TELL US SOONER?!!! *WE* could have left, and then you could have gone and found that idiot, and everything would've been peachy." Brad twitched. "But.. there's still enemies around!" Scheifer glared at Totophie. ".. Don't kill me, I'm just the messenger." Totophie said. "An order to withdraw takes priority, because that means I can get the **_censored_** out of here." Brad stated. "So.. 1900 hours... according to the script.. that gives us 30 minutes." Scheifer said. ".. **_CENSORED_** YOU!! Both of you!!!" Brad exclaimed, glaring at both Totophie and Scheifer. "YOU!" He glared a Totophie, "Should have told US sooner!! So WE could have gotten out of here!!" Brad yelled, then turned on Scheifer. "And YOU! Because YOU had to be stupid and follow the script and run off like a MORON!!!!" Brad exclaimed. "Welp... better run!" Scheifer exclaimed, taking a run for it. "AND JUST WHERE THE **_CENSORED_** DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!?!!" Kell and Brad yelled, chasing after him. "... Whatta 'bout MEEEE?!!!" Totophie whined, following. 

Meanwhile.... 

"MWAHAHA NO DA!!! Get them! Fly my pretty, flyyyyyy!!" Shinigami exclaimed evilly. ".. Dude.. it's not a flying monkey, it's a remote control spider. Get it right." Verie said. "Fine, fine, leave me alone no da." Shinigami muttered, having the remote control spider chase Brad, Scheifer, Kell and Totophie. 

Back with our... "heroes"... 

"Is it just me, or are we being chased by a remote control spider?" Brad asked. "Looks that way to me." Scheifer replied. "That's what I thought." Brad said. ".. I'm assuming we're supposed to stop and battle it." Kell said. "We don't have time for that. Quite frankly, it'll probably run into that dog we saw and flip over." Brad nodded. "Because this is a poorly funded project, so it's only half a foot tall?" Scheifer asked. "Exactly." Brad replied, so they completely ignored the remote control spider and made it to the shore. So they got into the little boat and went all the way back to Balamb. 

"SCHEIFER!" Farfjin exclaimed. "How'd it go?" Naijin asked. "Ne... they all got in my way. Bein' a leader ain't easy. I had to do ALL the work!" Scheifer said, walking off with Farfjin. ".. Yeah, like anyone believes that." Naijin mumbled, following. 

"Well.. guess we'd better catch up. Stupid Scheifer'll probably drive off without us or somethin'." Kell blinked. So he and Brad followed Scheifer. Infact, they were just in time to watch him drive off like a lunatic. ".. Ok, that's it. I hate him." Kell twitched. "I'm gonna kill him. I want to get this over with, and he's following the stupid script!! WHAT THE **_CENSORED_** IS WRONG WITH HIM?!!!" Brad demanded. "Might as well walk it, ne?" Kell asked. "**_Censored_** no. I'm gonna sit here until there's a convenient scene transition and-" 

Then Brad and Kell magically appeared back at the school. "Good call." Kell blinked. "Mwaha. I knew not cooperating would get me somewhere someday." Brad said. "Hee." Totophie said. "... Why, oh WHY did you have to be a main character?" Brad whined. "Well, let's walk around!" Kell exclaimed. Brad grabbed his collar. "YOU'RE not going anywhere. We have to go find Ayastis and figure out what we got on that stupid exam, so we can get this chapter OVER WITH." Brad mumbled. "TEE HEE!" Totophie exclaimed, about to run off when Brad grabbed her collar too. "Why do I have to play babysitter?!" He mumbled, dragging them off. Soon, the found Headmaster Shinigami and Ayastis! 

"So, how was it like, no da?" Shinigami asked Brad. "... Whatever." Brad mumbled. "Whatever! That's great no da! Whatever!" Shinigami twitched, glaring at the script. Scheifer then ran in. "Hey Brad? Didja hear??? If it weren't for that withdraw order, we would've been heroes!" He exclaimed. "You were only looking for a fight." Ayastis said, deciding to read the script for once. "Instructor! I'm hurt! Those are crushing words for an aspiring student! Of course.. a mediocre instructor like you would never understand." Scheifer snickered. ".. shi-ne." Ayastis glared. "Anyhow.. Kell, you passed. " Shinigami anounced. "WOO!!!" Kell exclaimed, jumping in the air and running off. "Totophie passed as well." Shinigami said. "TEE HEE!" Totophie exclaimed. "THAT'S IT!! JUST NAME THEM ALL QUICKLY AND GET THIS OVER WITH!!" Brad yelled. "Fine, fine no da. Brad, you passed. And miscellaneous character number 23 passed. The rest of you failed. Ta, no da!" Shinigami said, walking off. "... Add Headmaster Shinigami to the list!" Scheifer exclaimed, snapping his fingers as Farfjin added Shinigami to the list. "You know.. according to the script, you're supposed to actually be nice for once and applaud politely. Thus making everyone else applaud politely too." Kell said. "Yeah.. but what're you gonna do, ne?" Scheifer said, walking off. "Anyhow, Brad, if you really want to further the plot, you'd better go get your uniform, and then we can all go to the PAAAAAAAH-TAAAAAY! HEE!" Totophie exclaimed, bouncing. "... Riiiight..." Brad sighed, walking to his dormitory and changing into his SeeD uniform. "YAY! Now let's go to the PAAAAAAAH-TAAAAAAAY!!!" Totophie exclaimed. ".. Say that one more time, and I'll rip your lungs out." Brad glared. "... You don't like to PAAAAAAH-TAAAAAY???" Totophie asked. Brad twitched. "I absolutely LOATHE you." He glared. 

Anyhow, so Brad went to the party, and drank random miscellaneous alcohol in a wine glass. ([OFFSTAGE] Schuldich: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU, VERIE!!! ~sob~)   
Brad glanced offstage and rolled his eyes. Then, Ominoa walked up, holding her/his script and twitching slightly. "You're the best looking guy here..." He twitched some more, "dance with me?" He added, twitching. Brad glared at him. "Oh, let me guess, you only dance with people you like." Ominoa twitched again. "Ok then... look into my eyes." Ominoa said. Brad glared. Ominoa started swirling her finger in front of Brad's eyes. "You are going to like mee... you are going to like meeee... you are going to like meee... did it work?" Ominoa asked. "I hate you." Brad glared. "... Leave me alone. You're going to dance with me, because if you don't, I'll have to wear this dress for the rest of my life!!" Ominoa glared, grabbing Brad and leading him out to the dance floor. After a short dance that resulted in much pain for the misc. dancers around them, Brad managed to get away from Ominoa. 

So then Brad ran into Ayastis. ".. I just can't go anywhere without running into cross dressers, can I?" He sighed. "Shi-ne. Meet me in the training center." Ayastis said, walking off. "... This is the screwiest chapter yet..." Brad mumbled, walking back to his dorm and changing into his "normal" clothes and walking to the training center. "Ah. Shi-ne. I'm not longer a teacher. Whine whine whine, blah blah blah." Ayastis said. ".. That's great. But I don't care." Brad grumbled. "Whine whine.. I'm not asking you to say anything, just listen." Ayastis said. "Then go talk to a wall. Eesh." Brad said, walking off. When suddenly, Ayallone appeared. "Oh help. Monster! Heeeelp!" She exclaimed. "Ayasti!" She cried, bouncing over to Ayastis. ".. Erm... hello.." Ayastis twitched. "It's not safe here." Some random bodyguard guy said to Ayallone. "Right. Byeee Ayasti!" She said, and ran off. 

So then the next morning, Brad was woken up by Totophie pounding on his door. "You are NOT the first person I want to see in the morning." He glared. "We have a mission!!! We're going to Timber, tee-hee, meet by the front gate!!" Totophie exclaimed running off. Brad mentally cursed Verie for casting Tot as a main character. "Peachy. Just peachy." He mumbled, walking off...   


********************** 

Author Notes... 

Verie: ^_^;; ah.. ha. Ok, so that's not all of Disc 1. I was planning on making each disc one chapter, but apparently, it's not going to go that way. -.-; Argh. Anyhow... this one was hard to write.. because I'm on Disc 4.. and I just got to disc 4.. and um... well, I have no idea how long I've been playing FF8, but look at it this way: the timer hit 99:59 a looooooooong time ago. ~mega sweatdrop~ so, as you can assume, I've forgotten most of discs 1 and 2. I actually had to start a new game to get the very beginning... but, then I found the uber-cool script for FF8 at about the time when they notice the comm tower. So wee. I now know what I'm doing! Be proud. However... those of you who haven't played FF8 are probaly confused as HELL, so I'll do my best to answer questions and stuff... Anyhow, as for the plot of FF8, basically... um.. ok, there's Ultimecia, who's the badguy (we haven't met her yet...). She's a sorceress, and she wants to achieve time compression by posessing all the previous sorceress'. So, she goes off and posessed Edea and Adel. Anyhow, she meets Seifer, whose "Romantic Dream" is to be a sorceress' knight. So she's currently posessing Edea at that time, so of course Seifer becomes her knight, because as it turns out he's the only one with enough memory to realize that Edea was their matron in the orphanage they all went to. (You see, with our heroes, their use of GFs of Guardian Forces just made them forget. Gee, convenient.) As for the GFs... they're these kind of magical beings who can protect you during battle, but they take up a small space in your mind, and so you forget stuff. So yes. Basically, we haven't gotten to the actual plot yet, because of sub plots. Including Squall's relationship with Quistis (.. which has pretty much been cut out because Aya's not cooperating -.-;), Squall's relationship with Rinoa, Irvine's inability to shoot people despite the fact he's a SNIPER, and a ton of other stuff! WEE. Then there's Selphie's relationship with Irvine... .. argh. Then there's Squall's DAD. And then there's Squall's Dad's ex-girlfriend/Rinoa's mother! ~twitching~ anyhow, it's all very complicated and I will try to explain it but as you can see I suck at explanations! ~mega sweatdrop~ Bear with me, please? I'll try to get this part done so we can move on to.. other stuff. Such as the Lion King. (I might wind up doing the Lion King or something in between two chapters of this, since this is obviously going to be loooong...) 

And thanks to everyone who's reviewed!!! ^_^;; 

Stuntcat: Mweehee. You may have Chibi-Brad clone back now ^_^ You wanted him back my New Years, jah? ... I wouldn't happen to be able to borrow him for Brad's flashback sequence somewhere around Disc 2 or 3, would I? ^_^;; It would help me save money since this is a low funded project and all. ^_~ 

Ryuke: Yes, he's out for blood. Hide me ;_;' .. Not that I blame him... ah.. ha. ... A month is kind of a long time, isn't it? ~sweatdrop~ 

Dibbity: Blame my English class. This started out as an assignment. .. Or blame Brad for having black hair and wearing white ~shrug~ either/or. Or you can just blame Miss Slayton, who keeps on giving me A's with the comment "Very Creative" whenever I stick Brad in my English stories. ~blinks slowly~ I have yet to understand that, but hey, I've never gotten less than 100% when he's in it. ... I got a C on the Ranma one that had to replace this one because this one's too long ;_;' Otherwise, I have no idea where this came from. I think J.B started it by pointing out that practically all the fairytale princes are the same person. ~shrug~   


Oh, and um... there WILL be a late New Years chapter. I would have written one last night... ... but, I didn't for unknown reasons. (.. it's not like I ever do anything for New Years anyway ;_;' I just watched Jay Leno... ~sweatdrop~)   


  
  
  
  
  



	12. Intermission: We Three People of No Part...

  
  
  


A New Years Intermission.... 

  
  
  
  
  


Narrator: Because Brad was stuck onstage for Thanksgiving, and because he wasn't brought back until Christmas day, Verie caved and granted Brad a short vacation time for New Years. So, Brad went home, deleted all the messages on his answering machine, and prepared to sleep in a bed for once. 

Brad: thank God.. I FINALLY get some vacation time. ~grumbles~   
*door bell rings*   
Brad: .. what the hell...? -.-; ~answers door~   
Yohji,Omi,Ken: We three people of no particular significance travel afar, we really have no clue where the hell we are. Da da da da da da da seeking shelter in yonder caaar...   
Brad: .. ~blinks slowly~   
Omi: We're looking for shelter from the storm. ~nodnod~   
Brad: and I care.. why?   
Ken: because, we were wondering if we could stay in your car.   
Brad: ~arches eyebrow~ you want to stay in my car.   
Yohji: yep.   
Brad: and you think I'm that stupid.. why?   
Omi: because it's in the script. And it's New Years. And it's storming out.   
Brad: sucks to be you. ~slams door in their faces~ 

Narrator: and so, the three people of no particular significance didn't get shelter, and died. All because Brad Crawford didn't provide any form of shelter for them. Shame on him. Anyhow, so that night, he was visited by three spirits. 

~convenient scene transition to Brad sleeping~ 

Schuldich: Braaaaaad. ~blinks~ ... He's not waking up. ~pokes Brad~ BRAD! WAKE UP!!! ... God.. he's a heavy sleeper. ~gives up and kicks him~   
Brad: OW! What the hell?! ~glares~   
Schuldich: I am the spirit of person of no particular significance number ONE.   
Brad: ... You mean Kudou?   
Schuldich: pretty much.   
Brad: But you're Schuldich.   
Schuldich: Jah. Let me rephrase that: I'm the spirit in representation of person of no particular significance number ONE.   
Brad: ... Like some kind of spiritual lawyer?   
Schuldich: Exactly!   
Brad: -.-; oy vey... and let me guess, this is some kind of cheesy special chapter, right?   
Schuldich: yup.   
Brad: ~twitches~ IT'S MY VACATION!!! PART OF THE AGREEMENT WAS NO MORE CHAPTERS UNTIL IT'S OVER!!!   
Schuldich: Yes, well, Verie lied. Now c'mon. I'm going to attempt to make you feel guilty for the sake of my client's soul.   
Brad: ~glares~   
Schuldich: That's the spirit! ^_^ ~drags Brad off and drags him to the Koneko~   
Brad: It's their flower shop. ~glares~   
Schuldich: But look! See those fangirls? They only bought flowers for the sake of Yohji. Whom you KILLED. He was their entire purpose in life, so thus, you've ruined their lives.   
Brad: ... cool....   
Schuldich: ~sweatdrop~ erm. right. Anyhow, so, since he's not here, the fangirls leave and become addicted to anime and die in a tragic accident at the book store fighting over the last Inu Yasha graphic novel. And it's all your fault.   
Brad: ^_^   
Schuldich: -.-;; And the business at the Koneko plummets. And a couple night clubs go out of business, and also! My drug dealing business fails. And it's all your fault!   
Brad: Great!   
Schuldich: -.-;; Ok... well.. that's all I've got. Great. ~twitches~ Baibai. ~disappears, and Brad is back in his bed~   
Brad: ~blinks~ well... there's less fangirls in the world. ^_^ ~goes back to sleep~   
Nagi: ~appears~ Crawford, wake up. ~blinks~ ... Ah.. yes.. Schuldich warned my about this. ~sends Brad flying into the wall~   
Brad: -.-; actually, Nagi, I was ALREADY AWAKE. ~death glare~   
Nagi: .. whoops ^_^;;   
Brad: And why are you here exactly?   
Nagi: I'm the spirit in represenation of person of no particular significance number TWO.   
Brad: .. peachy.   
Nagi: I'm here to show you the results of your KILLING Omi. ~sniffle~   
Brad: and what, praytell, are those?   
Nagi: ~hauls Brad off to the Koneko~ FIRST! All the Omi fangirls turn into MY fangirls. And I have ENOUGH fangirls. And you know what happens?! I GET SUFFOCATED! TO DEATH! BECAUSE OF YOU!! ~points accusingly at Crawford~   
Brad: ... peachy?   
Nagi: ~glares~And SECOND! The business at the Koneko plummets, because the Omi fangirls aren't coming anymore because they're now Nagi fangirls and Nagi's dead so they all start watching Tenshi ni Narumon! So then the profits of Weiss Kreuz plummet because there's less people buying merchandise!!!   
Brad: ~shrugs~ too bad.   
Nagi: ~keeps glaring~ THIRD! The local animal shelter goes out of business because Omi was the only volunteer.   
Brad: and I care.. why?   
Nagi: So THEN there's dogs and cats and other small animals running all over. And then YOU get bitten by a rabid german shepherd and DIE. Don't you care about THAT?!   
Brad: Not now that you've warned me to stay away from German Shepherds.   
Nagi: ~face faults~ You're horrible.   
Brad: thanks.   
Nagi: ~grumbles and Brad reappears back in his room~ I hate you -.-; ~disappears~   
Brad: ... well, that's two down, one to go. ~waits patiently~   
Farf: I am the spirit in representation of person of no particular significance number THREE.   
Brad: Yes, I know.   
Farf: great. ~drags Brad to the Koneko~   
Brad: -.-; this is getting OLD.   
Farf: Ok, so the business at the Koneko SIGNIFICANTLY plummets because Ken's gone.   
Brad: woo.   
Farf: And then the Japanese soccer teams die out, because Ken was teaching children to play soccer, but without him as a coach, there's no one to go on to the big leagues and the big leagues die.   
Brad: then maybe there will be something good on T.V for once.   
Farf: And the Ken fangirls are forced to get lives.   
Brad: spiffy.   
Farf: AND GOD LAUGHS!! ~waves knife threateningly at Crawford~ AND YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE!! YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR BRINGING GOD PLEASURE! DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ~lunges at Crawford~   
Brad: O.O; ~dodges~ WAIT! Don't kill me!!! ~twitch~ Fine, I'll play along. So what do I have to do to change all this???   
Farf: Well, come to your trial and plead guilty for the murder of the three people of no particular significance. Got it?   
Brad: .. sounds simple enough. ~blinks~ 

Narrator: so, at the trial.... 

Judge Persia: We are here today for the trial of Brad Crawford, who is responsible for the death of three people of no particular significance.   
Schu,Yohji,Farf,Ken,Nagi,Omi: ~all nod~   
Brad: ~looks bored~   
Judge Persia: So, we have Schuldich, the spirit in representation of person of no particular significance number ONE. And then Nagi, the spirit in representation of person of no particular significance number TWO and-   
Aya: can we just move on??? This is taking too long.   
Judge Persia: .. erm.. right. And then we have Aya Fujimiya, the spirit in representation of Brad Crawford, or the murderer of the three people of no particular significance, right?   
Aya: yes.   
Brad: ~falls asleep~   
Persia: .. -.-; someone wake him up.   
Aya: ~kicks Brad~   
Brad: ~wakes up~ what is it with redheads and kicking me?! ~glares~   
Persia: anyhow... Crawford, how do you plead?   
Brad: ~glances at Farf, who is glaring at him and licking a knife~ erm.. guilty.. I guess O.o;;   
Persia: ~blinks~ um.. okay... ... now what?   
Brad: ~hopeful~ let me go and live a long and happy life, never to appear in fanfiction ever ever again?   
Persia: -.-; nice try.   
Brad: ~shrugs~ it was worth a shot.   
Persia: Anyhow, as your punishment, you must work at the Koneko with the newly revived people of no particular significance and the spirit in representation of you for the rest of your vacation!   
Brad: O.O   
Persia: MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 

Narrator: and thus.. the next day... 

Brad: -.-; I hate this. ~spraying insecticide on plants and being mauled by fangirls~   
Aya: it's what I go through every day. ~yells at fangirls~   
Schu: MWAHAHAHA!! ~pushes past fangirls to get to Brad~ Aaaw... lookit yer pretty black apron!! ^_^   
Brad: ~glare~   
Schu: ~pats Brad~ You're such a pretty florist, Braddie. ^_~   
Brad: ~sprays insecticide in Schu's face~   
Schu: GAAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS!!!!!!!! ~rolling on the floor screaming~   
Brad: .... ~walks over to Weiss~ How much for a gallon of this stuff??? ^_^   
Weiss: ~massive sweatdrop~   
Omi: .. maybe we should just have him wash windows...   
Brad: ~off spraying fangirls with insecticide~ MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

Narrator: and thus, Brad learned his lesson... or not... um... he had a lot of fun on his rather.. short vacation... and um... yes. ... That's... about it... ~blink~   
Brad: MWUAHAHAHA! ~sprays the Narrator with insecticide~   
Narrator: -.-; Insecticide doesn't work on Narrators, we're omnipotent.   
Brad: ... damn. ~walks off to find Schu~ 

**************************** 

Author Notes: 

Verie: ah.. ha. I'd like to thank Shanna/Farfie (Farfy -.-;;;) for inspiring this... inadvertantly. ^_^;; Basically, she came over a couple days ago, and when we went to take her home there was a storm and of course, I had to start singing about it. MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! .. So jah. Happy New Year everyone :P 


	13. DISC 1: Part: 2 Botuna LAME

  
  
  


A/N: ( blah blah blah) denotes Brad's voice over. {blah blah blah} Totophie's voice over, and [blah] is Kell's voice over. And \ blah\ is Botuna's voice over.   
  
  


*BACK STAGE*   


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Verie: Pleeeeeeeeease???   
Brad: ~death glare~ NO.   
Verie: Please?   
Brad: No.   
Verie: ~puppy dog eyes~ PLEASE?   
Brad: NO. And stop that. You're not innocent enough to pull of that look.   
Verie: -.-; please?   
Brad: NO.   
Verie: plea-   
Schuldich: ~hits Verie with a coffee can~ BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!!! ~twitch~ You've been arguing like that for TWO FRIGGIN' HOURS!!!   
Shinigami: ~twitch~   
Verie: If he'd just sing the stupid song with Omi, I'd leave him alone!!   
Omi: ... I don't want to sing with Crawford.. O.o;;   
Verie: WHYYYYYYYY?!!!! ~sobs on Brad's shoulder~   
Brad: ... ~looks for insecticide~   
Farf: Duets with people who can't sing hurt God.   
Omi: ... -.-; I can TOO SING!!!   
Shinigami: Just not well.   
Omi: ~glare~ I can sing! It's HIM ~points accusingly at Schuldich~ who can't sing!!!   
Schuldich: ~pout~ I can too sing.   
Verie: Your accent kills it.   
Schuldich: ~death glare~ SHUT THE HELL UP!! ~starts beating Verie with the coffee can~   
Others: O.o;;   
Brad: Schuldich is kind of sensitive about his accent.   
Schuldich: I do NOT have an accent. ~glares at Brad~   
Brad: .. which he doesn't have. ~sweatdrop~ ~backs away from Schu~   
Verie: ~glares evilly and Brad and Omi~ I *WILL* make you two sing!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!   
Narrator: Don't make me charge over-time.   
Verie: -.-; goddamnit. ~turns back to Brad and Omi~ Your time will come. ~cackles~   
Brad&Omi: O.o;;   
  
  
  
  


****************   
~*Disc 1: Part 2*~   


"One more minute..." Shinigami mumbled, having once again been cast as the faculty of Garden. "ONEMOREMINUTEONEMOREMINUTEONEMOREMINUTE!!!!" Totophie exclaimed happily. Brad twitched.. .. Actually, it was either a very large twitch or a small seizure. Take your pick. 

Then, Kell skateboarded in. "Skateboards are prohibited." Shinigami glared. "But.. they're USEFUL." Kell nodded. Shinigami took away the board. Too bad. Then, another faculty member (yes, apparently we found someone else to help play bit characters) "WEE! I'M IN THE FIC I'M IN THE FIC I'M IN THE FIC!!!" The faculty member bounced. "Where's Omi?!" The faculty member added. "... He's... off stage." Shinigami twitched, giving the other faculty member the skateboard. "MWUAHAHAHAHA!!! OMIIIIIIII!!!" The faculty member ran off. "... Who. The**_ censored_**. Was THAT?!" Brad demanded. "... That was Jimmy/Omi. ... My sister." Dramatic music. "... Dear God... there's more of them!!!" Brad sobbed. Totophie patted him, and received a death glare in return. 

"Anyhow, I'm magically transforming into Headmaster Shinigami now, because Verie was stupid and didn't look ahead in the script to see if the headmaster would come in." Shinigami said. "FOR THE RECORD: I *DID* look ahead. Just not far enough." Verie yelled from off stage. "... Right. Anyhow, this is your first mission. You are to go to Timber and support a resistance faction-" Shinigami started. "VIVA LA RESISTANCE!" Kell yelled, receiving glares from everyone onstage. ".. What??? THAT'S FUN TO SAY." He exclaimed defensively. "... Right. Anyhow, you'll be supporting a restistance faction. .. That's it. You'll be met by someone who's part of the faction at the station. That person will say 'the forests of Timber sure have change.' You have to reply 'But the owls are still around.' That's the password." Shinigami said. "... You know.. that's actually a pass SENTENCE..." Kell stated. "JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!!" Brad glared. Kell jumped, but obeyed. "... Brad, you're squad leader. Have fun." Shinigami said, walking off. "SQUEE! LEADER!!" Totophie exclaimed, glomping Brad. "FOR THE LOVE OF **_CENSORED_** GET HER OOOOOOOOOOFF!!!!!!" Brad screamed. Shinigami came back holding a gravy boat. "Oh, and Brad, I forgot to give you this. It's a cursed magical lamp!" Shinigami said, shoving the gravy boat at Brad. "... And what the **_censored _**am I supposed to do with it???" Brad asked, staring at the gravy boat. "Sore wa himitsu desu." (Newly-Hired-Subtitle-Guy: That's a secret.) Shinigami said. "... In other words... you don't know either?" Brad arched an eyebrow. ".. .. hai." (N-H-S-G: Yes.) Shinigami walked off. "... **_censored_** videogames... why the **_censored _**would a headmaster give a student a cursed gravy boat?!" Brad demanded. "IT'S A CURSED MAGICAL LAMP, **_CENSORED_**!" Verie yelled from offstage. "Lamp, gravy boat, whatever." Brad mumbled. 

So then our.. heroes... do you realize how stupid that sounds? Ne.. oh well. Anyhow, so our heroes went to the train station and bought tickets and got on the train and that's a run-on sentence, because even though I'm a narrator I have bad grammar which makes it hard for me to get well-paying jobs and that's why I'm stuck here, but luckily I'm the only narrator who would work for Verie because she's pretty much shot all the others which wasn't smart because now I can charge whatever I want! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

"I wasn't aware this story was about you." Brad said, arching an eyebrow, even though he can't see me. So he looks really weird. And shut up. "Are all narrators this annoying?" Kell asked. "TRUST ME. THEY ARE." Verie said from offstage. What? I didn't do anything. I've got a lawyer, **_censored_**! Verie grumbled some more, but walked further offstage. Good. Anyhow, so they were on the train. 

"This train is AWESOME! TEE!!!" Totophie bounced. "Transcontinental railroad, baby! .. Holy **_censored_**! Are we in an under water tunnel?!" Kell exclaimed, staring out the window. ".. That's great." Brad mumbled. ".. Can you use the ticket thingie so we can get inside our private compartment thingie???" Kell asked. Schuldich sniggered from offstage. Brad glared offstage. "**_Censored_** , Schuldich! Keep your mind out of the gutter!" He yelled. "Can't.. help it..." Schuldich laughed uncontrollably. Kell twitched. Brad used the ticket to open up the rest of the train. "WEEEEEEE!!!" Totophie exclaimed, running off. Brad and Kell walked off to find the SeeD's private compartment... hehe... "**_censored_** all of you, shut up!!!" Kell exclaimed. "Train train take us away, take us far away, to the future we will go, where it leads; no one knows..." Totophie sang. "... ..." Brad weighed his options, and opted for hanging out with Kell in the private compartment... heh.... "**_censored_** stop that!!" Kell whined. Fine, fine. "That's better." Kell mumbled. The was an awkward silence, which Brad didn't seem to notice. "Well! Hey, look! They've got magazines!" Kell exclaimed, shoving a magazine in Brad's face. "... Pet Pals Volume One? What the **_censored_**?" Brad asked, taking the magazine and throwing it away. "BRAD!! You're supposed to keep that." Verie exclaimed, from offstage again. "Why?" Brad asked. "Because. You need it later on in the game." Verie replied. Brad mumbled to himself. "**_censored_** videogames... have to keep every peice of trash you find on the ground. Who the **_censored_** thought that up?!" 

Then, Totophie entered. "Like.. guys.. I'm.. tired..." She said drowsily. "Ne? ... Me too." Kell said, suddenly tired. They both fell asleep on Brad. Who twitched violently. ".... **_censored._**" He mumbled, pushing them off. "What the **_censored_** is this?!" He demanded. There was silence. ".... Hello???" Brad asked. No answer. "Narrator, what the **_censored_** is going on?!!" He demanded. I don't know, did you check the script? "... I threw my script away, actually." Brad stated. Just then, Schuldich ran in and hit him in the head with a coffee can and knocked him unconscious. .... Was that really necessary? "... Probably not, but it was fun!" Schuldich stated, walking back offstage. ... And where is the author during all this?! "Kyukei no kohi no da." (N-H-S-G: Break of coffee verbal exclamation mark.) Shinigami answered. ... I want coffee too... why does SHE get coffee?! 

*BACK STAGE*   


  


Verie: TADAIMA!   
N-H-S-G: I'm home!   
Shinigami: .. you don't live here.   
Verie: Sure I do! ^_^   
Shinigami: ... you're scary when you have coffee.   
Verie: ^_^ MWUAHAHAHA!! I pity the person who gives me coffee!!   
Shinigami: .. I pity your friends who have to be around you when you drink the coffee.   
Verie: .. them too. ~notices the occurances on stage~ Ah! So we're to that part already???   
Shinigami: ... ne?   
N-H-S-G: eh? or huh?   
Verie: The part. The Laguna part. Brad!! .... .... Oh no.... you didn't...   
Farf: Coffee cans hurt God ^_^   
Verie: o.o; guys... we needed Brad for the voice-over for the next part.   
Schuldich: ... whoops?   
Verie: .. SO IT WAS YOU!!!! DAMN YOU, SCHULDICH!!!! NO KNOCKING BRAD OUT UNLESS I GIVE YOU PERMISSION!!!!!!   
Schuldich: Hey, it said in the script that he was supposed to pass out. You should've been more specific.   
Verie: ~twitching~ -.-; you know who he's going to blame when he wakes up? ME!!!   
Schuldich: That's the beauty of it ^_^   
Jimmy: .... Schu's scary... ~blink~   
Verie: GAH! ~hides behind Aya~ .. oh wait.. it's just you. ~comes back out from behind Aya~ ..... Damnit, there's no one taller than me except for Schu. -.-;   
Shinigami: .... -.-; damn tall people.   
Verie: ^_^   
Jimmy: .... Where'd Omi go?   
Verie: ... He's probably hiding because he doesn't want to wear his costume again.... most likely because of the.. um.. spandex shorts or whatever the hell those things are...   
Others: o.o;   
Nagi: eh.. heh... I'm just going.. to go... over... here... yes.. that works... ~runs off to find Omi~   
Shinigami: ooo.... ~follows with pad of paper and pencil~   
Jimmy: Neesan!!! ~runs off to stop Shinigami~   
N-H-S-G: Elder sister!!!   
Verie: -.-; great. Now we have to wait until they wake up, Nagi and Omi get... done.... with.. whatever... it is.. they're doing... and Shinigami gets done writing her... fanfic... ~twitch~   
Schuldich: ~shrug~ I'm going to go steal Brad's glasses and color them in with a permanent marker. ~walks off~   
Yohji: .. he has too much time on his hands.   
Verie: .. touche. 

  


*************** 

_Two hours later...___

*ON STAGE* 

And so... after our short break, because Verie was stupid and actually left these idiots unattended... "FOR THE RECORD: they were not unattended. Shinigami was here. And Jimmy. And the subtitle guy. Not to mention YOU." She yelled. .. right, like any of those people count. And Brad gave up chasing Schuldich with his glowblade, we got back on track. 

"Why are we here again?" You're the new cast members. "... Nani?" (N-H-S-G: what?) "**_censored_** Sena, just work with us here. You people are the new cast members because I don't have enough people to play all the roles." Verie stated. "... Oh." Sena replied. "So, Sena, you're Serd, and Kyou is Kyoros. You don't know Botan, but he's Botuna. Now, let's read the script, ne?" Verie said, shoving scripts in the new cast members hands and walking off. 

"Uhh... Botuna, are you sure this is the right way?" Kyoros asked. 

(Eh? .. What the...? .. A dream...?) 

"Ooh boy.. not again." Serd grumbled. 

(Where am I?)   
(?)   
(?)   
(?)   
(?)   
(?)   
(?)   
(?)   
(?)   
(?)   
ARE YOU DONE YET, BRAD?!   
(Just following the script. Mwuaha.)   
Stupid anime characters.... 

"Hey, aren't we here to fight a war against the almighty Timber army, because we're Galbadian and we have to state what we're doing for the sake of the readers?" Serd asked. "Yeah. Why're we wasting our time?!" Kyoros asked. ".. Well.. you see... it's uh...." Botuna sweatdropped. "Don't tell me we're lost again." Kyoros glared. "Anyway, we're going home! Deling city, here we come!" Botuna anounced, running off. "W-wait! Botuna!!!" Serd exclaimed, following. So the three boarded the truck and went to Deling City. And the truck stopped in the middle of the street. 

"... We're parked in the middle of the street...." Serd saidd, somewhat scared. "Chill man, it's cool. .... I do NOT talk like this..." Botuna sighed. "You only lasted on episode, so we don't really care how you talk, ne?" Verie said from offstage. ".. Fine. The sooner we get this over with the sooner I can leave. Alright then! How about a drink?!" Botuna exclaimed. "We're not here for the booze, are we? We've got a war to fight." Kyoros said. "So we'll get smashed and then we'll CHAAAAARGE!!! ... I don't talk like this either..." Serd whined. "BOTH OF YOU JUST READ THE SCRIPT!!!" Verie yelled. ".. Eh.. heh. Kyoros, Serd, you two seem to misunderstand. I just want to have a friendly drink with you two." Botuna said. So they went to the bar. 

(Is this a dream...?)   
{Botuna's pretty cute! HEE!!!}   
(... I didn't just hear that...)   
[What the **_censored_**'s goin' on?!]   
(That's what I'd like to know)   
[Nyeh...]   
{... ... Kyoros is cute too... hee.}   
([SHUT UP!!!])   
{what? I was just saying!!}   
([DON'T!])   
Would you people shut up?! Your voice over ended awhile ago. 

([{Fine.}])   
{.. hee.} 

So then Neulia entered and started playing the piano. 

(Oh great... even MORE Schreient!) 

BRAD!!! 

(ah. Right. Sorry.) 

"So... Botuna. Neulia should be making her appearance tonight. .. You goin' for it tonight?" Serd asked. "Yeah, go for it!" Kyoros exclaimed. "What-ever man, can't you see she's working? ... Holy **_censored_**... this part involves a romance?! WHYYYY?!!!" Botuna sobbed. "Don't go back on your word, go wave to her." Kyoros said quickly, so that Verie wouldn't have enough time to start yelling about following the script. "Give me a break..." Botuna said. "So you say, but we all know you'll do it." Serd stated. 

So Botuna walked up to Neulia while she was playing the piano, because she's a pianist in the bar if you didn't notice. 

\Ah... to be this close to Neulia....\ 

(Is this guy serious? ... What an idiot) 

\HEY!\ 

[Follow the script of Verie'll dock your pay.]   
(... I'm STILL not getting paid for this....)   
[Cooperate, then.]   
(NEEEEEEEEEVEEEERRR!!!) 

\... Riiight... uh-ohh\   
\My leg's cramping up!\   
\Argh.\ 

So Botuna limped over to Neulia.   
(... This is pathetic....)   
\Leave me alone! It's in the script!\   
(... That was my line, stupid. But you are pathetic.) 

And then Botuna walked back to his friends. 

(... Pathetic.)   
\STOP SAYING THAT!!!\   
(.. Pathetic.)   
\I hate you.\   
(Thanks.)   
\Nyeh...\ 

"Good work, Botuna." Kyoros said. "Mission successful. I didn't think you'd actually do it. Our popularity rating's gone up a point." Serd nodded. "Yeah, but you cut a pretty pitiful figure up there. I'd say you're about a -3 on the manliness scale."   
(More like -26...)   
\STOP IT!!\   
(Hehehe...)   
"Say what you want!!!" Botuna exclaimed, and then turned his attention back to Neulia. ".. Neulia sure is pretty."   
(LAME.)   
\I TOLD YOU TO STOP IT!!!\   
(... LAME.)   
"Brad, stop screwing with the script." Verie said.   
(... Fine.)   
\Ha. I win.\   
(Shut up.)   
".. Actually, I'm agreeing with Brad here. But I want to get this over with." Verie corrected.   
(HA!)   
\SHUT UP!!!\ 

"Ne.. Botuna, we're takin' off. Bye!" So Serd and Kyoros ran off. "H-hey! What's the rush???" Botuna exclaimed, as Neulia walked up to him. "May I?" Neulia asked. 

"AAAAAAAAAASUUUUUUUUUUUUUKAAAAAAA!!!!"   
"YOHJI!! SHUT UP!!!" 

... Right. Anyhow.. back to the plot... Neulia twitched slightly. "Did I interrupt anything?" She asked. "N-not at all, p-please sit down!" Botuna exclaimed.   
\Oh man, oh man. It's really HER! What do I do? Kyoros! Serd! Help! What do I say?! .. But man.. is she pretty...\   
(... LAME.)   
"ASUKA'S MINE, **_censored_**!"   
"FOR THE LOVE OF **_censored_**, YOHJI, SHUT UP!!! IT'S JUST THE SCRIPT!!!"   
(.... Even lamer.)   
\... Touche.\   
(But you're still lame.)   
\Oh shut up.\ 

"You ok now?" Neulia asked. "Kind of..." Botuna said. "How's your leg?" Neulia asked. "L-leg? Oh, this? Y-yeah.. it's fine. It happens all the time when I get nervous." Botuna coughed. "And if you make on comment, Brad...!" He exclaimed.   
(Wasn't going to. .. Except for this: LAME.) 

Neulia twitched. "Were you nervous?" "Oh... yeah... I'm still... kinda." Botuna said. "You can relax. You don't have to get nervous around me." Neulia stated. 

"AAAAAAASUKAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"   
".. That's it. Schu, knock him out for me."   
"FUN!" 

... Eh.. heh... "Oh... sorry." Botuna said. "Say... would you like to talk somewhere private? I have a room here..." Neulia whispered. "I-in your room?!" Botuna exclaimed.   
[... Yohji's going to be traumatize after he finds out about this...]   
(Oh, will he? .. Hehe...)   
[.... eh... heh...] 

"Well, it's pretty hard to talk freely here, everyone's listening in. If you'd like to, please come by. I've been wanting to talk to you. .. You don't want to?" Neulia asked. "Of course I do!" Botuna exclaimed. "Ok then, I'll be waiting for you." Neulia said, leaving. 

\This is a dream... This is a dream.... No! This can't be a dream!\   
(This is too weird to be a dream. .. Not to mention stupid.)   
\Neulia.. wants to talk to me?\   
(.. He talks to himself too much.)   
\And just the two of us! Get it together Botuna!\   
(... whatever....)   
\I always screw up by talking to myself too much.... It's always been like that. But not tonight! I'm all ears for Neulia! Aah.. time to use my manly charm, and help Neulia with her problems.\   
(Corny AND lame! ... Verie should've cast Kudou as him. Sounds just like him.) 

So Botuna walked off to Neulia's room. "Have a seat." Neulia said. Botuna sat down on the bed, then stood up and sat on a chair. "Going so soon? We haven't even talked yet." Neulia said.   
(... He's sitting on a chair.. how is that leaving?)   
[I have no idea.] 

"No, it's not that. It's just that I'm a really big fan of yours, so I'm really kinda nervous, y'know?" Botuna explained. "So that's why you come to see me play so often." Neulia said. "You.. you saw me?" Botuna asked. "You have beautiful eyes. Though they look scared now. I'm not gonna pluck 'em out and eat 'em. I just want to talk, gazing in to those eyes. You want something to drink? Wine perhaps?" Neulia asked.   
(... That doesn't sound suspicious.)   
[NO! DON'T DO IT, MAN! SHE'S GONNA EAT YOOOOOOUUUUU!!]   
(.. what the **_censored_**?)   
{.. hee.} 

"I must be dreaming...." Botuna said.   
(... LAME.) 

So, a little while later, Botuna was babbling like an idiot.   
(It's not hard for him to act like an idiot)   
"So, like, the other day, one of my articles made the reader's column... Pretty cool, huh?" Botuna asked. "... I'm so happy for you." Neulia mumbled. 

And more time passed. 

"Yikes, I'm talking too much again..." Botuna said.   
(Took you that long to figure it out, ne?)   
[.. Even I'M not that dense.]   
(And you're pretty dense.)   
[... hey...!]   
(mwuaha.) 

"Yes?" Julia asked. "Tell me about yourself, like, your dreams for the future." Botuna said. "I want so sing. Not just play the piano, but sing too." Neulia said. "I'd love to hear it!" Botuna exclaimed. "But, I can't. You see, I'm not good at writing lyrics." Neulia said.   
(That's what WRITERS are for. FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS.)   
"Must be tough." Botuna said. "But, thanks to you, I think I can come up with something." Neulia said.   
(Yeah, it's called "Akane's Baka Song.")   
[... You watch Ranma 1/2?]   
(Schuldich.)   
[Ah.] 

"Thanks to me....?" Botuna asked. "Yes. You've shown me so much about yourself. ... You've shown me something.. I think I can come up with a song." Neulia said. "Wow, I must be dreaming..." Botuna said.   
(Want me to hit you in the head with a two by four to make sure?)   
\No, but thanks for the offer.\   
(Hehe...) 

Then, Kyoros ran in. "Botuna! New orders! Meet by the Presidential Residence, on the double!" Laguna got up. "Can we meet again?" Neulia asked. "Of course! I have to come hear you sing!!" Botuna exclaimed, and ran off. 

And then there was a convenient screen transition back to the train, where our heroes got up from their previously passed out state. .. Again.   
"Were we asleep?" Brad asked. "Maybe someone released sleeping gas? There's a lot of people who resent SeeD." Kell said. "Anyone hurt? Am I missing anything??" Totophie asked. "No, no one's hurt. But you are missing something." Brad said. "EE! WHAT?!" Totophie cried. "A brain. But you never had one to begin with, so don't worry." Brad stated. ".. YOU BIG MEANIE!" Totophie whined. "Ha." Brad said. "Anyhow.. I had this great dream!!" Totophie exclaimed. ".. I didn't. I dreamt I was a moron..." Brad said. "And you woke up and found out it was true." Kell said. "SHUT UP." Brad glared, waving his glowblade menacingly. "But seriously! Sir Botuna was soooo cool, hee!" Totophie exclaimed. "Botuna? There was a Botuna in my dream too! He's a Galbadian soldier, right???" Kell exclaimed. "Botuna, Kyoros and Serd." Brad stated. "Yeah! That's it!" Kell exclaimed. "That's what...?" Brad asked. "There's no way to understand this. Let's just concentrate on our mission." Totophie said. "Well, you can't understand anything, but for once I'd have to agree. I'll report it to the headmaster once we get back." Brad stated, and they all went off to explore other parts of the train. 

************* Author Notes: 

Verie: aaaiiieee... long chapter. Although it's probably not as long as it seems, because of the spacing and everything. Neee... it's all wonky now. ;_;' Weiss doesn't have enough people. I had to bring in Gluhen people and a bit-part! -.-;; oh well. There you have it. The second part of disc 1. . And I haven't even gotten through disc 1 yet! ~sob~ why does FF8 have to be so FREAKING LONG?!! .. It really didn't seem this long playing it. ... Then again... my timer's at 99:59... so... I shouldn't be surprised, should I? ~sigh~ nyeh.. oh well. Poor Laguna. ~shakes head~ Oh well. I got to use my "and you woke up and found out it was true" comment to Squall's "I dreamt I was a moron" line ^_^ hehe. Anyhow, thanks to all of your for reviewing, I'd thank you by name, but I can't get online to get your names right now. So jah. Feel thanked, and review again, and for those of you who haven't reviewed yet, review??? Please??? Reviews make me happy and keep me from becoming all angsty and depressed and stuff. So review. Or else... I'll um.. become angsty. And depressed. And I can't write when I'm angsty and depressed. ~face fault~ So REVIEW. 

  
  


  



	14. Intermission: I challenge thee to a duel...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


*BACK STAGE*   


  
  
  
  


Verie: Please?   
Brad: No.   
Verie: Please?   
Brad: -.-; No.   
Verie: PLEASE?   
Brad: No.   
Verie: .. bitte?   
NHSG: please?   
Brad: >.; no.   
Verie: ....por favor?   
NHSG: please?   
Brad: NO.   
Verie: umm... yorokobaseru?   
NHSG: umm... please?   
Brad: FOR THE LAST TIME; NO!!!   
Schuldich: >.; headache.. three... hours... of nothing but them arguing like this.... ~falls over~   
Others: ~asleep~   
Verie: Pleasebitteporfavoryorokobaseru?   
NHSG: Pleasepleasepleaseplease?   
Brad: NO.   
Schuldich: ~trying to find the coffee can, or at the very least, his pair of scissors~   
Verie: WHY NOT?! ~sob~   
Brad: I'm not singing anything.   
Verie: What about the Sailormoon theme?   
Brad: HELL NO!   
Verie: .. In German?   
Brad: NO.   
Verie: ... French?   
Shinigami: .... The French version is stupid no da...   
Verie: ... true. But it would make good blackmail material.   
Brad: NO!!!!!!   
Schuldich: ~crawling around on the floor searching for his items of torture~   
Verie: how about... Vanilla! Sing Vanilla!   
Shinigami: O.o;; ... ~snigger~ da.   
Brad: NO.   
Verie: How about....   
Brad: FOR THE LAST TIME NO, I WILL NOT SING DEATTE SHIMATTA, COME ON, STELLAR SOLDIERS, ESTE, YUME NO NA HASHI, BRILLIANT FUTURE, WILL, VANILLA, OR ANY OTHER SONGS IN EXISTANCE!!!   
Verie: ... Megalomaniac?   
Brad: ~convulses~ NO!!!!!! IIE!!!! NEIN!!! DO I HAVE TO WRITE IT OUT FOR YOU IN FIFTEEN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES?! BECAUSE I WILL IF IT'LL MAKE YOU SHUT UP!!!!   
NHSG: NO!!! NO!!! NO!! ... etc.   
Verie: .... How about Schwarz?   
Brad: ~face fault~ I hate you. I hate you, I hate your father because he helped spawn you, I hate your Uncle because he influences you too much and he is NOT exactly like me damnit, and I hate your aunt for no apparent reason and I hate-   
Shinigami: We get it no da.   
Verie: Yes well, everyone hates my father. So that doesn't count. A majority of us dislike my aunt, so that doesn't count either. HOWEVER! ~glares at Brad~ Insulting my Uncle, who is like... exactly like you only without the assassination and angst and insanity and glowsticks and crap, is INSULTING MY HONOR! I hereby challenge thee to a duel!!!   
Schuldich: ~looks up from his crawling around on the floor~ ne?   
Others: ~wake up randomly~ ... ~blink~   
Brad: .... and now you're committing suicide. ~blink blink~   
Verie: -.-; Not that kind of duel, baka.   
NHSG: -.-; Not that kind of duel, idiot.   
Brad: Then what, praytell, does one actually do in said duel?   
Verie: ~rolls eyes~ Play Dance Dance Revolution, duh.   
Brad: ... NO.   
Verie: ah-ha! So I win by default!   
Brad: ne... nani?   
NHSG: eh... what?   
Verie: And, as the winner, I hereby-   
Brad: WAIT!!! I don't even want to *HEAR* the end of that sentence. ~twitch~   
Schuldich: ~amused~ I would.   
Brad: SHUT UP!   
Schuldich: .. just saying... ~backs away~   
Verie: ~grins evilly~ The only way you can get out of this is to beat me in my duel, fuwa fuwa shite iru koneko!   
Others: O.o;; ~freaked out~   
NHSG: ... fluffy kitten. ~blink blink~   
Brad: ~disturbed~ O.o   
Verie: .. I couldn't find my book that had insults in it, so it was either that or Green-Coat-Nazi.   
Schu: ... hey -.-   
Brad: ... riiiight.   
Shinigami: .. that reminds me... ~magically pulls a fluffy ball cat toy out of her sleeve~ SHONEN PAFFU BARU NO DA!!!!   
NHSG: ... manly puff ball verbal exclamation mark.   
Others: O.o;   
Brad: .. that's it. You're all disturbed. -.-   
Shinigami: ^_^   
Schuldich: .. ~snickers evilly~   
Others: O.o;;;   
Schuldich: ^_^ mwuahahahahaha!!! I could have fun with that.   
Shinigami: o.o; ~backs away from Schu~   
Jimmy: ~grabs the shonen paffu baru~ MWAHA!   
Shinigami: !! IIE!!! KAISHITE! KAISHITE!!!   
NHSG: !! No!!! Give it back! Give it back!!!   
Shinigami: ~chases Jimmy around the studio~   
Brad: .... ok.. so we have the COMPLETE nutcase, and the girl who plays with cat toys. ~sigh~ .. Yes, I'm in *great* company here.   
Farf: it hurts God ^_^   
Brad: shut up.   
Farf: ^_^   
Brad: -.-;   
Verie: ... can we get back to me here?   
Shinigami: -.-; iie no da.   
NHSG: no verbal exclamation mark.   
Verie: ~frowns~ but... the PLOT.   
Brad: The plot's gone. It ran away.   
Others: ~arch an eyebrow at Brad~   
Brad: .... what? It HAS.   
Verie: that means it's up to me to retrieve it! ~magically grabs the shonen paffu baru back from Jimmy and gives it back to Shinigami~ MWAHA!   
Shinigami: DA!!!! ^_^   
NHSG: verbal- .. you know what? Nevermind. You people figure it out.   
Brad: ... ok, now that the disturbing cat toy has been put away, what exactly IS Dance Dance Revolution?   
Others: ~stare at Brad in complete shock~   
Nagi: ... I'm ashamed to know you.   
Brad: ... What?! What makes it so hard to believe I don't know what the hell Dance Dance Revolution is?!!!   
Verie: EVERYTHING!!!   
Brad: Detailed explanation there, I'm proud -.-;   
Verie: ~sweatdrop~ Ok, it's a game that involves stepping on arrows to the sound of music.   
Brad: ~blink~ .. sounds simple.   
Verie: Exactly, now let's go so I can beat you and then I can put my evil plan into effect! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! ~drags Brad off~   
Others: ~blink~ ....   
Schuldich: You know what? I'm certain this will make good blackmail material. Also, it'll be reeeaally friggin' hilarious to see Crawfish playing DDR. ~follows~   
Nagi: ... I concur. ~follows~   
Others: ~shrug and follow as well~   


  


~*IN THE AMAZING ROOM OF NO PARTICULAR SIGNIFICANCE EXCEPT IT HOUSES THE AMAZING PLAYSTATION 2 OF DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION PLAYING EVILNESS*~   


  
  
  
  
  


Verie: ~sets up the mats~ ok, there ^_^   
Brad: .... This is going to diminish what little dignity I've managed to salvage from you, isn't it?   
Verie: ... pretty much, jah.   
Brad: >.; and if I refuse, you'll probably say something along the lines of "as the winner, I hereby declare Crawford must play Dance Dance Revolution in front of everyone" right?   
Verie: ... pretty much. ... Of course, there'll be other, eviler consequences, but jah. That works.   
Brad: -.-; I hate you, you know that?   
Verie: Yep! ^_^   
Brad: ~grumbles~   
Verie: mwuahahaha!! Anyhow, shall we begin?   
Brad: ... ~stands on the mat~ I hate you. I REALLY hate you.   
Verie: ^___^   
Brad: -.-;   


  


*FIVE MINUTES LATER*   


  


Schuldich: aaaand... it's a tie! With absolutely nothing for both of you!   
Brad&Verie: ~face fault~   
Nagi: ... you two really suck. ~blink blink~   
Verie: shut up -.-;   
Nagi: .. but seriously. Most people make at least *ONE* arrow.   
Brad: Nagi?   
Nagi: Yes, Crawford?   
Brad: Listen to Verie for once and shut up.   
Nagi: .. but honestly, ONE arrow. ONE. You couldn't even get ONE. And you can see the future!!   
Brad: -.-; That's not helpful in this game, damnit.   
Nagi: Suuure it isn't.   
Brad: ~death glare~   
Schuldich: ~sigh~ After everything I've tried to teach you Brad... you still aren't cool. ~sob~ WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!!   
Yohji: ~pats Schuldich~ It's not your fault, he's just dense. Like Aya.   
Aya&Brad: -.- shi-ne.   
Aya: .. That's it. I'm copyrighting "shi-ne" damnit!! YOU CAN'T STEAL IT ANYMORE, SCHWARZ!!! ~points at Brad accusingly~   
Brad: .... You can't copyright a word that's used in a person's everyday vocabulary.   
Aya: WATCH ME.   
Brad: .. I'm watching, and yet.. you're not doing anything.   
Aya: -.-; shi-ne.   
Schuldich: ... riiight. Anyhow, seriously, Brad, Verie; you two suck WANG at Dance Dance Revolution.   
Brad: .... ..... ~lost~   
Schuldich: ~twitch~ I feel like such a failure. ~sigh~   
Verie: ~stares at the PS2~ .. ~glances at Brad~ Best two out of three?   
Brad: .... fine.   


  


*TWO HOURS LATER*   
(After many, many, rematches)   


  


Schuldich: .. ~watching Verie and Brad attempting, once again, to beat each other at DDR~ .. this is just.. pathetic. Beyond words.   
Omi: ... I'm going to have to agree.   
Nagi: .. I didn't think they'd play for two hours straight without even getting one arrow right....   
Shinigami: ... sad no da.   
Nagi: ~nods sadly~ Crawford is just uncool. That's all there is to it. ~ashamed~   
Schuldich: ~sniffle~ Depressing, isn't it Nags?   
Nagi: ~nod~   
Schuldich: I mean, I expected as much from Verie, I mean.. she's just pathetic in all areas. But CRAWFISH. ~sniffle~ I thought I'd taught him better than that!!!   
Aya: ... you're all idiots.   
Yohji: ... I've failed as well! ~sobs on Schuldich's shoulder~   
Schuldich: O.o;; .... dude.. I like this coat, get off. ~pushes Yohji off~   
Yohji: -.-;   
Brad&Verie: ~both tie again, with 0 arrows, and start screaming profanities at the Playstation 2 in various different languages~   
Schuldich: .... hey, hey, leave the console alone. It's not it's fault you two suck wang.   
Brad&Verie: YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR TWO HOURS, SO SHUT UP!!! ~more multilingual profanities~   
Farf: .. this game hurts God! ^_^   
Brad: SHUT UP!!! >.;;   
Verie: And here we go again, right?   
Brad: Yes.   
Others: -.-;   


  


*THREE HOURS LATER*   
(.. more rematches... O.o;;)   


  


Brad&Verie: ~both tie again, and fall over on the ground~   
Verie: can't... breathe.... ;_;'   
Schuldich: that's it. I vote you two pick representatives-   
Brad: Schuldich.   
Verie: .. DAMN YOU.   
Brad: mwaha.   
Schuldich: Ok, fine. I'll be playing for Brad. Verie, if you would pick your representative.   
Verie: .. Aya. For blackmail purposes.   
Aya: .. shi-ne -.- ~steps onto the mat~   
Schuldich: .. This shall be fun ^_^   
Verie: AND NO USING YOUR POWERS!   
Schuldich: .. damn. Oh well.   
Verie&Brad: ~sit up to watch what happens~   


  


*FIVE MINUTES LATER*   


  


Everyone(sans Schu and Aya): ~SHOCK~   
Verie: .. what... the HELL.. was that?!   
Aya: Aya-chan likes this game.   
Others: o.o;   
Shinigami: It's.. another tie.. no da.   
Schuldich: ~frowns~ Perfect score, good job Fujimiya.   
Aya: ~nods~   
Verie: .. this sucks.   
Brad: ... indeed.   
Verie: and thus.. .we try again.   
Brad: looks like it.   
Nagi: .. not again... -.-   
Shinigami: why can't Aya and Schu have a rematch?   
Verie: There's more of a chance of them tying again than Brad and I, obviously.   
Shinigami: .. and you are lead to believe this.. why no da?   
Verie: ... Because of the plot hole, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go attempt to get one arrow on this stupid game. ~glare~   
Nagi: .. is everyone aware that we've been sitting here for five hours now???   
Omi: sadly, yes.   
Yohji: but.. it's entertaining. Especially now that I know Aya's cooler than Crawford! TAKE THAT SCHWARZ!!!   
Schwarz: SHUT UP!!!   
Nagi: It's not our fault Crawford sucks!   
Brad: >.; That's it, when we get out of here.... ~glares at Nagi~   
Nagi: .... o.o; eep. ~hides behind Schu~   
Schuldich: If you're not careful Brad, the fangirls are gonna getcha.   
Brad: ... what the hell are you talking about?   
Schuldich: The Nagi fangirls! They're terrors. They really are. And there's a lot of them, too. It's.. scary.   
Verie: Schu fangirls are scarier.   
Schuldich: ^_^ I train them well.   
Others: O.o;; ~scared~   
Brad: ... ... ~disturbed~   


  


*YET ANOTHER HOUR LATER*   


  


Verie&Brad: ~tie again~ .... DAMNIT! ~pass out~   
Schuldich: ... .... that's.... the most.. pathetic thing... I have.. ever seen in my life.   
Nagi: ~nods~   
Shinigami: .. ~pokes Verie~ six hours of dance dance revolution causes death no da. *POKE*   
Omi: .. actually, I think they're only passed out.   
Jimmy: ... ... ... ~glomps Omi~ ^_^   
Omi: >.;   
Shinigami: you only did that because you haven't done anything for six hours, no da.   
Jimmy: ... true. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm in the fic. ^_^   
Shinigami: ~shakes head~ da.   
Schuldich: Well, I think I'll be going to bed. ~grabs Brad's collar~   
Others: o.o;;   
Schuldich: What??? I'm just going to play with him!   
Others: O.O;   
Schuldich: ... not like that -.-; I mean, I'm going to make him *THINK* I did something, but I'm not. See?   
Ken: .. and we should believe you... why?   
Schuldich: ... ... ~shrugs~ You all have my word, that our star will not have any reason to be traumatized tomorrow morning.   
Yohji: ~arches an eyebrow~ I bet.   
Schuldich: .... Fine, DON'T believe me! ~drags Brad to his room~   
Shinigami: hehehehe... ~grabs notebook and follows~   
Jimmy: NOOO!!! NEE-SAN!!!   
NHSG: NOO!!! Sister!!!   


  


*THE NEXT MORNING* 

~BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM~   


  
  
  
  
  


Everyone(excluding Verie, who somehow got dragged into her room, and is still asleep, Brad, Schuldich, and Shinigami): ... ~shake head sadly~   
Schuldich: ~runs past~   
Brad: ~runs past with a knife, screaming profanities in random languages~   
Shinigami: ~walks in solemnly~ da.   
Yohji: So, what happened?   
Shinigami: ~whine~ Nothing! Nothing no da!!! ~sob~ The damn bastard kept his word!!! >.; NO DA!!!   
Others: o.o; ~surprised~   
Shinigami: I know. It's not fair. ~sigh~   
Jimmy: ~relieved~ This place is definately not suitable for people 12 years and younger...   
Nagi: .. you're just now noticing that?   
Jimmy: Well, not really, but that's not going to stop me anyway. Because... ~glomps Omi~ OMIIII!!!!!   
Omi: -.-;   
Schuldich&Brad: ~run past again~   
Verie: ~walks in groggily~ .... ne? ~notices Brad and Schu~ ... ... ... you know what? I don't want to know. ... Unless.... ~looks to Shinigami~   
Shinigami: ~shakes head sadly~   
Verie: .. damn. ~walks back to her room to go back to sleep~   
Ken: .. isn't anyone going to tell Crawford that nothing happened...?   
Others: ~watch as Brad chases Schuldich everywhere, while only pausing his stream of profanities to breathe~ ... nah.   


  


***********************   


  
  
  


A/N: 

Verie: O.o;; jah.... I just wanted to write this so you all know I'm still alive ^_^;; .. that and I've always found the mental picture of Brad playing Dance Dance Revolution amusing. ~shakes head~ poor Brad. I feel bad now, but you know.. this *isn't* my fault. As you know, I was unconscious during this. So you can't yell at me ^_^;;; .. I should probably tack up a yaoi warning now. >.;; but.. then again.. there's not *really* any yaoi.. and we all love yaoi anyway. So ha. ~cackles evilly~ ... I think that is quite possibly the most evil thing that has happened to Brad thus far. I'd punish Schu, but I'm fairly certain the Schu fangirls would maul me. (*COUGH*especiallyacertaininsaneredheadwhoIreallyneedtosendalettertobecauseshemovedtotheotherside oftownbutstillandshewon'tstopyellingat meforowningagolfclub andit'snotmyfaultmyUnclegaveittomeanddamnitIwaslearninghowtoplaygolfatthetimeand shereallydidn'tneedtostartscreaming"BRAD, HOW COULD YOU?!!"becauseIthinkmymomgotfreakedout.*COUGH*) .... .... O.o;; ~massive sweatdrop~ but yes. My excuse is that I left my brain in Maui. And it was either this or rewrite the fluff-ish-stuff I wrote for Shinigami while I was *IN* Maui, but... I'm too lazy to do that right now because that involves getting the laptop out. >.;; 

And yes, even when writing fluff, Brad still suffers (.. he falls in a swimming pool ~face fault~) .. I feel bad now. 

Oh, and: 

Note To Self: Next time we go on a field trip, bring enough money to contribute to buying the pizza, and also think about buying Kenken BEFORE it's time to go (... so close to scaring people on the bus with Kenken, the evil white mouse. ~sigh~ so close, damnit. ~whine~ .. oh well, there was the beetle in history. But Mr. Sausedo wouldn't give him to us... ~frown~   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. DISC 1: Part 3: Dirt Devil Picks Up Dirt...

  
Disclaimer-Guy: 

Roses are red.   
Violets are blue.   
Verie owns jack,   
so you can't sue.   


*BACKSTAGE*   
  
  


Verie: ~singing Spiritualized~   
Others: ~twitching~   
Shinigami: stop.   
Verie: Myyy piiitch uuuup!   
Shinigami: o.o; stop.   
Verie: ~continues~   
Brad: >.; she's almost as bad as Schuldich...   
Schuldich: I CAN SING, DAMNIT!!!   
Brad: ... ~glare~   
Schuldich: ... oh come on, nothing happened.   
Brad: ~continues glaring~   
Schuldich: >.;   
Verie: ~still singing~   
Shinigami: at least get the words for the Japanese part.   
Verie: ~shakes head~ Goodbye my mars, I shot your pigs...   
Schuldich: ... Stop glaring at me.   
Brad: *GLARE*   
Schuldich: .... ~rubs head and whines~ You hit me with a golfclub, damnit!! ~sob~   
Brad: you deserved it.   
Schuldich: ~sobs louder~ You know how I am about golfclubs!!!   
Shinigami: ~throws at spoon at Brad~   
Brad: >.; what was that for?!   
Shinigami: For hitting Schu with a golfclub.   
Brad: So now *I'M* the badguy here?!   
Omi: .. you were always the badguy...   
Brad: ~blink~ ... ... true.   
Verie: Myyyy piiiitch uuuuup!!   
Schuldich: ~beats Verie with a coffee can~ THAT'S MY SONG, DAMNIT!!!   
Verie: x.x;   
Shinigami: ... that field trip was two days ago and she's *STILL* singing that song. ~twitch~ I want to hit something.   
Schuldich: .. we don't get field trips...   
Omi: you're not in school.   
Schuldich: .. we should still get field trips. ~ rubs head and glares at Brad~   
Brad: ~glares back~   
Verie: .. ok, on with the plot then. 

************   
~*DISC ONE: PART THREE*~   


And so, the train arrived at Timber station, and our heroes got off. 

"Great.. now we've got to find the stupid person..." Brad sighed, walking up to someone and poking them. "HI! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A VACUUM CLEANER?!" The woman exclaimed loudly. Brad twitched. "Erm.. no thanks." He said, backing away. "ARE YOU CERTAIN?! IT'S A DIRT-DEVIL! VERY POWERFUL! PICKS UP DIRT!" The woman exclaimed. Brad backed away some more, deathly afraid of this psycho. "DIRT IS BAD, YES?! PICKING UP DIRT IS GOOD! DIRT-DEVIL PICKS UP DIRT!!!" The woman yelled, backing Brad up into a corner. Brad hereby had two options: 

Beat the woman senseless with his glowblade 

or 

Run for it. 

Since Brad's lazy, he picked the first option. "Ok... now that that problem's solved..." Brad said, looking around. ".. Dude... we're gonna get arrested..." Kell whimpered. "Shut up. We have a mission, not to mention, a plot to advance!" Brad exclaimed. "... I've been hanging around you people too long." He twitched, stepping over the unconscious Dirt-Devil Lady and walking up to another civilian. "..." The girl said, even though that's not saying anything. She looked at Brad, and then immediately glomped him. "I CAUGHT A BISHIE!!!!" She screamed. Brad twitched and beat her senseless with his glowblade. "... **_Censored_** .. why are there so many psychopaths around here?!" He demanded. He walked up to someone else. "Oh the forests of Timber sure have changed!" The guy exclaimed. "Yes! Finally! ... But the owls are still around." Brad stated. "... What the **_Censored_** are you talking about?" The guy asked. Brad blinked. ".... Nevermind, then." He sighed, walking back to the group. "These people are crazy. End of story." He stated. Kell, meanwhile, was playing with a vacuum cleaner. Brad glared at him. "What? It was cheap! And dirt is bad! But picking up dirt is good!" Kell exclaimed. ".. I'm going to kill you." Brad twitched. "You're only depressed because there's so much dirt in the world." Kell said. Brad hit him with his glowblade and threw the vacuum in front of an oncoming train. "From now on, I'm in charge of our money." Brad stated, taking Kell's money. He looked for Totophie, who was nowhere to be seen. "... **_Censored_**." He mumbled. "... Dude.... .... it's ok, Brad. I know the dirt made you do that. It's hard to resist it, I know but-" "WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!" Brad exclaimed. Kell bowed his head. "He's gone to far to the dark side... I cannot help him. Forgive me, Master Dirt-Devil Lady!" He sobbed. Brad twitched and walked up to another random person. 

"The forests of Timber sure have changed." He said. "But the owls are still around." Brad stated. "Right this way, Mr. SeeD person!" The guy said, dragging Brad off. "... Next time, I'm just going to stand on the tracks..." Brad mumbled. 

"Hello, my name is Kyone." A person said, as Brad and Kell entered another train. "Wow! You look just like-" Brad kicked Kell. Kyone sweatdropped. "Apparently more casting problems." Brad mumbled. "I'm Kell!" Kell exclaimed. "I'm Totophie! HEE!" Totophie said. "I'm Brad. I'm the Squad Leader, because they're idiots." Brad stated. "Ah! Ok, I'm the leader of the Forest Owls!" Kyone said, reaching out to shake Brad's hand. Meanwhile, Brad ignored him. "... Erm... kay..." He said, shaking Kell's and Totophie's hands instead. 

"So let's get on with it, shall we? For the sake of the plot and such." Brad stated. "Well, we need to introduce you to our princess, but she's sleeping right now." Kyone said. "... What the **_Censored_** would a resistance faction need a princess?" Brad asked. "Don't speak of our princess that way!" Kyone exclaimed. "Where is she? I'll wake her up." Brad said. "You can't wake up the princess!" Kyone whined. "Watch me." Brad stated, walking over to some random doors and kicking them in. "Nope.. no princess there." He said, and moved on down the car. 

"... Dude... what room IS she in??" Kell blinked. ".. The last one." Kyone whined, as Brad continued kicking in doors. 

_Awhile Later, Brad finally kicked in the last door.___

"Hey! You're that guy from the party!" The princess exclaimed, waking up. "... ... Why me, **_Censored_**?" Brad sighed. Ominoa jumped up and hugged Brad. "... GET OFF." Brad glared. Ominoa jumped away from him. "It was in the script." She/He whined. "Right." Brad grumbled. "I'm so happy! I've been sending requests to Garden forever, but nothing ever happened! I'm so glad I talked to Headmaster Shinigami directly!" Ominoa ranted. "So at that party, you were looking for the headmaster...?" Brad blinked. "You know Scheifer?" Ominoa asked. "Yes, but what does he have to do with the headmaster?" Brad glared. "He introduced me to the headmaster!" Ominoa exclaimed. "Peachy. But... I don't care." Brad said, turning to leave. "Oh! Is 'he' here??" Ominoa bounced. "... Who's 'he'?" Brad asked. "Scheifer!" Ominoa exclaimed. "No. He's not even a SeeD, because he's an idiot. ... Even more so than the other idiot SeeD." Brad stated, walking off. 

So then they all went into the Forest Owls meeting room. 

"Ok, so the President of Galbadia is coming to Timber, and we don't like him. Because we're a resistance faction, see?" Kyone said.   
"Yes." Brad, Totophie and Kell murmured.   
"And he's taking a private train." Kyone stated.   
"Ok." Brad, Totophie and Kell murmured.   
"And our plan is to-"   
"Blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher?!" Totophie exclaimed.   
Everyone sweatdropped.   
"Not exactly..." Kyone stated.   
"Ok." Brad, Totophie and Kell murmured.   
"Well, it's really quite complicated, and due to time, we'll have to fast-forward the plot to where you actually do something, because otherwise Ominoa will blather on annoyingly for a couple pages, and we don't want that!" Kyone exclaimed. 

_A couple pages of Ominoa's blathering later...___

After everyone woke up, Brad decided to conveniently sum up the plan in a less-than-fifteen-pages summary. 

"So we get on the second car, then walk on the roof to the president's car, uncouple the first car, and have the dummy car and Timber Owls base move in after that, and then escape with the president's car and the base, right?" Brad asked.   
"Exactly." Kyone said.   
"So let's go!" Ominoa exclaimed. 

And so they completed the mission. 

"Now! We get to go into negotiation with the President!" Ominoa declared, walking off.   
"... Great." Brad mumbled, following. 

"President Deling! As long as you don't resist, you won't get hurt!" Ominoa exclaimed. .. Then noticed there was a brick with the word "President" written on it in the chair. (*OFFSTAGE* Shinigami: .. first a Bush, and now a Brick. People need to think better before they vote. Verie: >.; bad pun.) 

"I'm assuming this is from budget cut-backs.." Brad mumbled, picking up a note next to the brick. "Blah blah... not the real president.. body double... resistance factions lead by idiots... false information... cue battle scene..." Brad skimmed through the note, hitting the brick with his glowblade once he got to "battle scene." "Congratulations... defeated fake President... went up a level.. blah blah blah.. got some money. Woo." Brad said, tossing the note. 

"I can't believe we fell for that!" Ominoa whined. ".. I can't believe she used a brick." Brad mumbled.   
"I just found out the REAL president is at the TV station!" Kyone exclaimed, running in. ".. But why in Timber? They've got a TV station in Galbadia." Ominoa stated. "Think this has anything to do with the radio tower in Dollet that we saw way back in the very beginning?" Totophie asked. "So they're using radio waves to broadcast, because only Timber can do that." Brad stated. "But what are they going to broadcast?" Ominoa blinked. "Everybody! PEACE! LOVE! HAPPINESS!" Totophie exclaimed, Brad hit her with his glowblade. 

"Let's come up with a plan!" Ominoa declared. "**_Censored_** not again..." Brad whined. "Where's our contract?!" Brad demanded. Ominoa gave him a peice of paper written in purple crayon. "I asked the headmaster for a simpler one because I couldn't understand the other." Ominoa nodded. Brad looked at the paper. "You now own these SeeD. ... **_Censored_**!!!" Brad grumbled. 

And so, they went off to find the TV station. 

However, soon they came to a drunk blocking their path. 

"Move." Brad growled. "No." The drunk replied. Ominoa looked thoughtful. "I see! So now we need to figure out what this drunk's favorite drink is, find a card, give the card to a passerby who will turn out to be it's original owner, they'll give us ANOTHER card, which we will trade for a better card, which we can give to the drunk after bying him a drink, and then get him to move so we can get by!" Ominoa exclaimed, meanwhile, Brad had knocked the drunk out with his glowblade. Ominoa sweatdropped. "You've been doing that all day, haven't you?" "... Pretty much." Brad replied, stepping over the drunk and continuing on his way to the TV station. "... Well, you can't argue that it's a lot less complicated." Kell blinked. 

So they made it to the TV station. 

"We won't be able to storm the place. ... Too many guards..." Ominoa said. 

Just then, a giant TV right next to them sprang to life and the REAL President Deling began his broadcast. 

".... I can't believe we're watching a brick give a speech..." Brad mumbled. "... Touche." Kell said. 

"I'm here to introduce an ambassador... the ambassador is Sorceress...." The brick ranted. 

".. Sorceress?" Kell blinked. ".. I knew this plot was lame." Brad sighed. 

Just then, Scheifer ran on screen and killed some nameless Galbadian soldiers! 

"Heey! It's Scheifer! HEE!" Totophie exclaimed. 

The soldiers grabbed Scheifer, but he kicked them, and beat them up and stuff, and soon won and had his glowblade at the President's.. er... throat.. or... .... .... I don't know. I really don't. And then, Ayastis ran in with him! 

"Brad, what're we gonna do??" Kell exclaimed. "Nothing. We were hired to help the Owls, so that's what we'll do." Brad stated. 

"Timber team, get over here now. That IS an order." Ayastis said from the studio. 

"**_Censored_**. Now I'm taking orders from cross-dressers..." Brad mumbled, so they ran to the studio. 

"We need to restrain him." Ayastis stated, once our heroes got there. "What do you think you're doing?" Brad asked. "It's obvious, ain't it?! What are you planning to do with this guy?! ... Brick... whatever." Scheifer demanded. "I get it! You're Ominoa's-" Kell started. "SHUT YOUR **_Censored_** MOUTH!" Scheifer yelled. ".... This plot just gets stranger and stranger." Brad sighed. "He broke out of the disciplinary room." Ayastis explained. "I see, so we're gonna take this idiot back to Garden, right?!" Kell exclaimed. "I see! So you're all from Garden! If anything happens to me, the entire Galbadian army will crush Garden! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!" The brick exclaimed. ".... You idiot, Kell. Are you happy now?! WE'RE BEING THREATENED BY A **_Censored_** BRICK!!!" Brad exclaimed. "Way to go, chicken-wuss. Mr. Leader, Instructor, take care of this mess." Scheifer said, dragging the President off. 

So, Scheifer was dragging the brick, when he ran into some psycho person. 

"Poor, poor boy." The psycho person said. "Stay away from me!!" Scheifer exclaimed. "Such a confused little boy. Are you going to step forward? Retreat? You have to decide." The creepy psycho woman said. "Stay back!" Scheifer exclaimed. Ayastis entered, but was hit with magic, invisible magic, because we can't afford anything shinier. "The boy in you is telling you to come. The adult in you is telling you to back off. You can't make up your mind. You don't know the right answer. You want help, don't you? You want to be saved from this predicament... AND WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!" Creepy woman asked, glaring at Scheifer who was now lying on the floor giggling. "You should listen to yourself!! That jus' sounds so.. wrong." Scheifer giggled. Everyone sweat dropped. "That's it. I can't work with him." Creepy woman whined. "Schuldich, follow the script." Verie grumbled. "Ok, ok... lalala.. more wrong-sounding stuff... Let's go! Weee! I get to walk through a wall!!" Scheifer giggled, walking with creepy woman through the wall just as Totophie, Brad and Kell entered. 

"Hey guys, where's Scheifer?" Ominoa asked, bouncing in. ".. We dunno." Kell stated. "... He'll be ok, right?" Ominoa whimpered. "... I hope not." Brad stated. Ominoa whined and ran off, followed by Ayastis. The others followed. 

"They found our base. It's completely destroyed." Ominoa whined. "Is everyone ok?" Kell asked. "Yes, they're good at escaping. But we have to stay away from Timber for awhile. Brad, is there a safe place you can take me??" Ominoa asked. Brad twitched. "... Fine." He mumbled. 

"So, where are we going??" Kell asked. "According to the script, Galbadia Garden." Brad stated. "... Aren't Galbadians the badguys...?" Ominoa asked. "Yes, but the script says we go there, so we're going there **_Censored_**." Brad stated. Everyone shrugged and they walked to the train station. 

So they all boarded a train bound for East Academy. 

"Train, train, take us away! Take us away, far away! To the future we will go! Where it leads, no one knows!" Totophie sang. "... Why do you keep doing that?" Brad whined. 

So they made it to the train stop, which unfortunately was not directly by Galbadia Garden, so then they had to walk. 

Then, Totophie, Ayastis and Brad fainted. 

"... What the **_Censored_** was that for?" Ominoa asked.   
"They must've gone to dream land again." Kell said. 

******************** 

Disclaimer Guy: 

Modification to above disclaimer: 

Verie does NOT own Jack. 

Jack: damn straight. 

***************   


  


A/N: 

Verie: weee. Another chapter. OF THE PLOT. ~proud~ ... This is really only because I'm in a lot of trouble and don't want to do anything that causes noise or anything that might annoy my mom further... ;_;' she's really mad. ~cowers~ What does everyone think of Disclaimer-Guy??? ^_^ ... .. I'm getting too many odd technical devices... (Blue-Censor-Dot, Narrator, NHSG, Disclaimer-Guy.... O.o;) but jah. Oh well. ^_^; ... (this is the shortest A/N yet, ne?) As always, thanks to everyone who reviewed!! 

  
  



	16. DISC 1: Part 4: Blame the SCOURGE OF ALL...

  
A/N: Just like in the last chapter, (blah blah blah) is Brad's voice-over, {blah} is Totophies, only this time, [blah] is Ayastis. Weeee.   
  
  
  
  
  


*BACKSTAGE*   


  


Verie: Konnichiwa, minna-san!   
Others: ~death glare~   
Verie: .. .. I feel loved now ;_;'   
Brad: ~twitch~ do you have any idea how long we've been stuck here?   
Verie: a little under two months?   
Brad: ~twitch twitch~ exactly.   
Verie: ... I blame the SCOURGE OF ALL THINGS GOOD.   
Weiss&Schwarz(sans Farf): ~glance at Farf~   
Verie: ... not him.   
Weiss&Schwarz: eh? o.o;;   
Shinigami: She means this kid at school no da.   
Verie: ~twitches again~ he's evil. Braaaad, if you don't want to be left for another month, shoot him for me.   
Brad: >.; you took my gun.   
Verie: ... oh.. right. Nevermind then.   
Omi: . .and why do you call this kid the scourge of all things good?   
Verie: That's SCOURGE OF ALL THINGS GOOD, in caps, Omi.   
Omi: ... well, fine, but why call him that?   
Verie: BECAUSE HE IS.   
Shinigami: ~nodnod~ da.   
Jim: Ha. I haven't met him. ^-^   
Verie: ... -.-; ~Kefka laugh~   
Jim: O.O; ~hides behind Omi~ don't do that!! >.;;   
Verie: ^-^   
Brad: ... For the record: I still hate you all.   
Verie: Be happy. It's too late for us to have a Valentine's Day intermission.   
Weiss&Schwarz: ~relief~   
Verie: HOWEVER. There's still Easter/My birthday to think about. Because they're on the same day. ~cackles maniacally~   
Weiss&Schwarz: >.;;   
Verie: and thus... on with the plot! Because we're ALMOST DONE WITH DISC ONE!! ~bounces~   


  


*******************   
~*DISC ONE: PART FOUR*~   
  


And so, our main characters went into "dream land." So now they were watching Botuna, who appeared to be standing at the edge of a canyon and staring down it. 

"Kyoros, you sure this is the place?" Serd asked. "Positive." Kyoros replied. 

(... **_Censored_** not these freaks again.)   
{Where's Botuuunaaaa?}   
([Shut up.]) 

"I don't wanna patrol the wrong place... like last time." Serd sighed. "Well, sorry to say it but, this isn't the place." Botuna stated. 

(And who would listen to him, anyway?)   
[Stupid people.]   
(REALLY stupid people.) 

"This is it. Let's go." Kyoros said. "But, I got a bad feelin' about this!! A BAAAD feeling!! As in BAD." Botuna exclaimed. 

(.. We got it.)   
[Just move out already so we can get this chapter over with.]   
(I agree whole-heartedly.) 

"Well we're moving out anyway." Kyoros said. "Fine, fine. But really, this place is freaky. .. And those rocks scare me." Botuna said. 

(LAME.) 

"Hey, are those Esthar soldiers?" Kyoros asked, pointing over behind some bushes. "... Looks like. They're still wearin' those flashy uniforms." Botuna stated. 

"DA!" "Pwhee!" Two Esthar soldiers exclaimed, noticing the group. 

[... do they have to make it so obvious?]   
(I think they're just bad actors.) 

Then, some weird midi started playing! 

"... Err... eh?" Botuna blinked. 

[That's the battle theme! No videogame is complete without one!]   
(... .... lame.) 

"Um... kay..." Botuna blinked, getting out a supersoaker. 

"... Are enemies allowed to run away no da?" Esthar Soldier #1 asked. "No, they're not." Verie grumbled from offstage. "But.. he has a super soaker!" Esthar Soldier #2 exclaimed. "... ... I'm still confused." Botuna sighed. 

"... Fine. Enemies can escape, it's not a big occurance anyway." Verie sighed. 

So the Esthar soldiers fled, and a weird victory midi started playing and Botuna, Serd, and Kyoros danced around. 

"Wasn't our mission just to patrol?" Kyoros asked. "You all should've listened to me. But did you? NOOOO." Botuna said, when two more Esthar soldiers appeared. 

"DA!" "PHWEE!" 

(... .... how many times is this going to happen?)   
[... I have no idea, where's the script?]   
(You think I actually own a copy of the script? Who do you take me for?!)   
[... .. fine then. Nevermind.] 

"There's more?!" Koyoros exclaimed. "We'd better make a run for it." Botuna said. So the three fled, and so the Esthar soldiers danced around. 

"Hey, why don't we get a victory midi no da?" Esthar Soldier #3 asked, while we had a convenient scene transition to where Botuna was at. 

So Botuna found a key, and lost it. Like a moron. And then they blew up some rocks, which chased some Esthar soldiers. 

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" 

... Yeah. .. .Um... right. And then they left, and there was a ridiculously huge amount of battled with Esthar soldiers. 

"DA!" "... Not again." Botuna sighed.   
"PHWEE!" "Hello."   
"DA!" ".. This is getting repetitive."   
"PHWEE!" "... I'm hungry...."   
"DA!" ".. Ok, this is seriously getting old."   
"PHWEE!" "... **_Censored_** this is seriously in the game?!"   
"DA!" ".... STOP IIIIT!!!" 

So the three actually managed to make it to the ocean, after many, many more fights with Esthar Soldiers, all of which said either "DA!" or "PHWEE!" ... .. for unknown reasons. 

"They ocean!! We can escape to Galbadia!" Botuna exclaimed. 

(I think I'd care more if I had some kind of clue about the geography of this world.)   
[Same here.] 

".. Gurgle." Serd... not-quite-said. "Eh?" Botuna asked. "I think his throat was injured.. he lost his voice." Kyoros said. 

(... I find it kinda lame they just now notice his throat's injured.)   
["Hey, look, he's bleeding profusely from the neck!" .. Yeah, I'm inclined to agree.]   
(hehe...) 

"It.. wa-" Serd started his dramatic last words.   
"HEY LOOK A BOAT! We're gettin' on it!" Botuna exclaimed, pushing Serd off the cliff. 

(... .... that's just sad.) 

".. He didn't get to say his dramatic last words..." Kyoros blinked, just before Botuna pushed him off the cliff too. 

".. Wow.. you guys sure have guts. You know how high this cliff is?" Botuna said, attempting to climb down the cliff, but slipping and falling anyway. 

(... ... idiot.) 

And then, Brad, Totophie and Ayastis woke up. 

"Was it Botuna again?" Kell asked.   
"Sir Botuna's in trouble!!! I hope he's ok!!" Totophie whimpered.   
"I'm guessing this has happened before?" Ayastis asked.   
"Yep." Kell said.   
"We'll be wasting our time trying to figure out. We've got a plot to advance. Let's keep going." Brad stated.   
"Yeah! Let's go! We're almost to the end of Disc one!!" Kell exclaimed.   
"Erm.. Brad? I think-" Ominoa started, but Brad, Kell and Ayastis were already running in the direction of Galbadia Garden in an attempt to get this chapter over with.   
"... Fine then, skip my *ONE* line in the entire chapter!!!" Ominoa exclaimed, following them. 

*******************   


  


Author Notes: 

Verie: ah.. ha... sorry for no updating. But really, the SCOURGE OF ALL THINGS GOOD is driving us all insane in a bad way. >.;; seriously. I had a breakdown during English, and our friend Matt had one during Spanish. And it's just a matter of time before it happens to Shinigami, from my observations on Monday during lunch. 

But I should feel better soon. Sorry for the over-all crappiness of this chapter, I haven't completely recovered but I wanted to update. And this part of FF8 isn't all that great anyway. Only one more part and we'll be done with Disc One!! BE HAPPY!! And Yohji, Farf, and Nagi are coming back, too. ^-^   
  



	17. Intermission Part 1: What is this 'Japan...

  
  
  
  


*BACKSTAGE*   
  
  
  


Verie: Ok, who's ready for another chapter?!   
Others: Not I.   
Verie: ... .... and why the hell not?   
Ken: we're out of food.   
Omi: we're out of drinks.   
Farf: we're out of knives.   
Yohji: we're out of shampoo.   
Schu: we're out of coffee.   
Verie: .... .... ok. .. Wait, we're out of coffee?!   
Schu: yep.   
Verie: ... .. do you even drink coffee?   
Schu: nope.   
Verie: so then how the hell do you know we're out of coffee?   
Schu: Brad's going through caffeine withdrawl.   
Verie: ~blinks~ ... seriously?   
Schu: Yeah. It's scary. He's all twitch-y and stuff.   
Verie: ... . when is Brad NOT twitch-y?   
Schu: When you're not annoying him and he's had his coffee.   
Verie: ... ah, fair enough. ... Where IS he, anyway?   
Schu: I believe he's in your room.   
Others: O.o;;   
Verie: ... why the HELL is he in MY room?!   
Schu: Because he's pissed that we're out of coffee, so he's taking it out on your stuff.   
Verie: ;_;' damnit. >.;; fine, there's only one way to fix this.   
Yohji: ~shakes Verie~ HOW?! WE'RE OUT OF SHAMPOO!! I NEED SHAMPOO, DAMNIT!!!   
Verie: x.x;; We'll take my NEW Shinra Credit Card, and go to Costco! ~gets out Shinra Inc. Credit Card, which sparkles dramatically~   
Aya: .... ... does Costco even take Shinra Credit Cards?   
Verie: no, no it doesn't. Which is why we'll be taking the Costco card as well. And then when we get the bill for the Costco card, we'll pay it off with the Shinra card, and thus solve all our financial woes.   
Nagi: ... .. what about the Shinra credit card bill?   
Verie: It will be banished to the discard pile.   
Ken: ... discard pile?   
Verie: Yes. Where all bills go.   
Omi: .... ... that's not very comforting....   
Verie: Are you doubting my ability to keep us out of debt?   
Schu: ... aren't we already IN debt...   
Verie: .. shut up. Now go get Brad, we're going to Costco. 

_*Outside Costco.*_   
__

  
__

Verie: Ok, the following people will be responsible for pushing carts: Aya, Omi, Nagi, Ken and Farfie.   
Schu: .. are you certain we can trust Farfie with a shopping cart?   
Verie: no, I'm not.   
Schu: ... ... ok.....   
Brad: ~twitching~ need... caffeine...   
Omi: ... ~backs away from Brad slowly~   
Shinigami: .... why are we at Costco no da?   
Verie: because, they have a lot of stuff for cheap.   
Shinigami: .. ;_;' they don't have graphic novels. Or pocky no da.   
Verie: but we're here for FOOD. .. And maybe videogames and Sims expansion packs.   
Shinigami: -.-; da.   
Verie: Anyhow, off we go!! 

*_Later...*_ __

Verie: Milkyway Midnight.   
Shinigami: Twix no da.   
Verie: Milkyway Midnight.   
Shinigami: Twix no da.   
Verie: Milkyway.   
Shinigami: Twix.   
Verie: MILKYWAY.   
Shinigami: TWIX.   
Verie: MILKYWAY, DAMNIT!   
Shinigami: Twix.   
Nagi: Twix, definately.   
Verie: -.-; No one asked you.   
Farf: ... Dark chocolate hurts God...   
Verie: exactly! ^_^   
Shinigami&Nagi: TWIX.   
Farf: ~brandishes knife~ DARK CHOCOLATE HURTS GOD!   
Shinigami&Nagi: O.O;; MILKYWAY.   
Verie: ^_^ Ayaaaaa!   
Aya: -.-; ~walks over with cart~ shi-ne.   
Verie: ~dumps five cases of Milkyway Midnights into the general direction of Aya and the cart~   
Aya: X.X;   
Nagi: ... you missed.   
Verie: did I? ~walks off~   
Shinigami: ... that's cruel no da. ~pushes one of the cases off of Aya and walks off~   
Aya: ... ... shi-ne. 

*_With Yohji & Omi*_ __

Yohji: ~filling the cart up with shampoo~   
Omi: .... are you sure we need all of this...?   
Yohji: ~glares~ Are you trying to put a price on the wellbeing of my hair? Because if you are...   
Omi: o.o;; No, no! Of course not!!! Here, let me help! ~starts dumping shampoo into the cart~   
Yohji: Good. ^-^ ... ... get one of the sales associates. They appear to be out. ~death glare~   
Omi: o.o; .. you scare me... ~walks off~ 

_*Schu*_ __

Schu: .... so what kind of cheeseburgers are these again?   
Sample Lady: vegan.   
Schu: and they're made with what...?   
S.L: soy.   
Schu: ... and someone would eat this crap.. .why?   
S.L: because they're vegans.   
Schu: and do I *look* like a vegan to you?   
S.L.: I don't know, sir...   
Schu: Are you accusing me of being a vegan?!   
S.L: no, no, of course not! o.o;;   
Schu: And so, why did you ask me if I wanted to try one of these things if I'm not a vegan?   
S.L: it's my job, sir...   
Schu: so your job is to harass the customers?   
S.L: no sir...   
Schu: then what IS your job?   
S.L: I give out free samples...   
Schu: to vegans.   
S.L: or anyone who wants to try it.   
Schu: do I look like someone who wants to try a vegan cheeseburger?   
S.L: no sir.   
Schu: And vegans... they don't eat anything that comes from an animal, right?   
S.L: yes sir.   
Schu: and so there's cheese... which is a dairy product... why?   
S.L: I don't know sir.   
Schu: So, this isn't really a vegan hamburger... because there's cheese... and you can't have a vegan cheeseburger, because it's not vegan cheese, correct?   
S.L: I guess, sir.... o.o;; 

_*Farf*_ __

Sample Lady #2: ... And so that's how I got my eyepatch. What about you?   
Farf: I stabbed myself in the eye ^_^   
S.L2: .. ... oh.   
Farf: It hurt God.   
S.L2: ... I... see.... >.> .   
Farf: He wept ^_^   
S.L2: ... and um... are you interested in trying some chicken stir fry...?   
Farf: ... does it hurt God?   
S.L2: ... I... have no idea.   
Farf: ... oh..... .... it must, though, because chicken is one of God's creatures, and God doesn't like it when one of his creatures is killed, right?   
S.L2: ... I... guess....   
Farf: So it hurts God! ^_^   
S.L2: .... you know what? It's my break. BYE! ~runs off~   
Farf: .. that hurt God. ~takes some stir fry and walks off to look for knives~ 

_*Shinigami*_ __

Shinigami: ALL THEY HAVE ARE YU-GI-OH CARDS NO DA!!! ~twitches~ I DON'T LIKE YU-GI-OH NO DA!!   
Nagi: calm down.... it's not the end of the world..   
Shinigami: I want graphic novels no da...   
Nagi: ... you've been hanging around Verie too long.   
Shinigami: ~blink~ sou, sou no da.   
Nagi: ... there's some casettes on learning Japanese. ~points~   
Shinigami: DA!!! ~runs off~   
Nagi: ... ... crazy people... 

_*Ken*_   
__ __

Ken: ~staring at the four aisles of sports equipment, which are glowing and have little angel soccer balls flying around singing Hallelujah and stuff~ ~drools~   
Farf: ~walks by~ ~pauses~ ~sees little angels~ ~twitch~ DIE GOD!!! ~attacks angel soccer balls~ YIYIYIIYIYIYIYI!!!   
Ken: NOOOO!!! O.O; ~faints~   
Farf: ... ~blinks at Ken~ ... ... this place hurts God ^_^ 

_*Verie*_   
__ __

Verie: so you're serving free samples of Starbucks Doubleshot?   
Sample Guy: yeah.   
Verie: ... absolutely free.   
S.G: ... yeah.   
Verie: Excellent. ~waves to Brad, who's almost all the way on the other side of the store~ BRAD!! GET OVER HERE!!   
Brad: ~glare~ I am NOT your dog! I don't just *run* over to you when I'm called. I'm a HUMAN BEING. And further more-   
Verie: so you're saying you DON'T want a free sample of Starbucks Doubleshot?   
Brad: ~stops~ .... .... ~walks over~ I hate you. ~takes a sample~   
Verie: You've mentioned that. .. A lot. So much, that it's getting OLD.   
Brad: -.-; this is degrading. I'm twelve years your senior. TWELVE.   
Verie: yes, the world already knows that.   
Brad: I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS.   
Verie: ~shrug~ your point being...?   
S.G: ~lost~ 

_*Narrator*_   
__ __

Narrator: the boy stared at the Lego Block Adventures game pack longingly, wishing he had the money to buy it...   
Boy: ... ~blinks~   
Narrator: he blinked.   
Boy: ~backs away from the Narrator~   
Narrator: he moved further down the aisle, in search of other games he knew he could not afford....   
Boy: ~starts crying~ MOMMY!! THE SCARY MAN IS FOLLOWING MEEEEEE!!!!   
Narrator: he ran off, crying to his mother.   
Mother: ~starts hitting the Narrator~ STAY AWAY FROM MY CHILD!!!!   
Narrator: GAH!!! ~blocks with an Age of Empires expansion pack~   
Mother: SECURITY!! ARREST THIS MAN!!!!!!   
Narrator: .. she screamed. ~blocks again~   
Mother: CREEP!!!! 

_*Schu & Verie*_   
__ __

Schu: Are you aware that there is absolutely nothing with a rating over PG-13 here? ~glares at DVDs~   
Verie: ... your point?   
Schu: meaning there's nothing... explicit. And don't even look at me like that! You're hentai! I'VE BEEN IN YOUR MIND!!!   
Verie: >.;; can you say that a bit louder? I don't think you've traumatized the Buddhist monks.   
Schu: ... there're Buddhist monks here?   
Verie: ... yes.   
Schu: ~evil glint in eye~   
Verie: ~twitch~ don't even think-   
Schu: ~already gone~   
Verie: .... ... damnit. ... At least he doesn't know about the nun.... .... ... nun.... ... SHIT. ~runs off to find Farf~ 

_*Later*_   
__

Loudspeaker: Would Verie please report to register twelve, your party is waiting, Verie, please report to register twelve, your party is waiting.... 

Verie: ... ... the hell...? ~looks around~   
Shinigami: not me no da.   
Farf: ~gnaws on a knife~   
Aya: .. shi-ne.   
Schu: ^-^ I traumatized a monk.   
Verie: I'm sure you're proud. .. But seriously, who's missing?   
Censor Dot: ~sits there~   
Nagi: Omi and I are here...   
Yohji: ~hugging a bottle of shampoo~ my precious...   
Verie: ~sweatdrop~ ... where's Brad?   
Schu: ... last I saw him he was yelling at the doubleshot sample guy for not letting him have another sample.   
Verie: ~massive sweatdrop~ damnit... ok, so it's either Brad or Ken, I guess.... 

_*At Register Twelve*_   
__ __

Security Guard: Are you Verie?   
Verie: ... .... ... depends. Who paged her?   
Security Guard: are you Vere?   
Verie: fine, fine. Yes.   
Security Guard: Good. I'll have to request you come with me.   
Verie: ... whatever it is, it's Aya's fault.   
Aya: shi-ne, Verie. 

_*Back in some kind of strange holding area*_ __

Brad: I do not deserve to be here.   
Narrator: shut up.   
Ken: ~unconscious~   
Verie: ... ... I don't even want to know.   
Schu: ~points~ Braddie got arrested!!   
Brad: When I get out of here, I'm going to kill you.   
Security Guard: I'm guessing you know these people, ma'am?   
Verie: ... ... yes, I'm their legal guardian.   
Brad: LIKE HELL.   
Security Guard: ~arches eyebrow~   
Verie: they're.. mentally ill. We're the team hired to take care of them. .... They have a lot of money. ~nodnod~   
Security Guard: I see...   
Brad: that's the worst lie you've ever come up with.   
Schu: hehe... I'm Braddie's nurse... ~snickers evilly~   
Shinigami: .... ~looks thoughtful~ ... hee...   
Brad: ~twitches~ I hate you. I really. Really. Hate you. And someday, I will kill you.   
Security Guard: ~writing things down on a notepad~   
Verie: ~massive sweatdrop~ Brad, you're really not helping anything...   
Brad: I'm aware of that. But anything to get away from you. Because you're EVIL and deserve to DIE.   
Shinigami: you say "evil" like it's a bad thing no da....   
Security Guard: You all wouldn't happen to be lying to me, would you?   
Schu: I've never told a lie in my life.   
Shinigami: same here no da!   
Security Guard: ....   
Verie: ... ... they're crazy too. >.>   
Narrator: I'm going to charge over time for this...   
Verie: IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU GOT YOURSELF ARRESTED!!   
Farf: this hurts God.   
Security Guard: ~talking to someone on walky-talkie~   
Omi: .. nothing good can come from that...   
Nagi: ~nods~   
Narrator: will Omi and Nagi be correct in their assumption? Find out! After the convenient scene transition!   
Verie: ~slaps forehead~ I hate you. 

_*Later*_ __

Narrator: and now, after the convenient scene transition, it appears that Nagi and Omi are correct, as we are currently being hauled off by a large white van!   
Brad: ~twitches~   
Nagi: ... after years of assassination... we get caught for harassing people in a Costco....   
Omi: my life is so incomplete...   
Verie: what are you talking about!? You've gotten to kill someone!! I haven't committed murder yet!! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME AWAY, DO YOU HEAR ME?!! I'M SEMI-SANE, DAMNIT!!! I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO LIVE A LIFE OF CRIME!!! YOU'RE DEPRIVING ME OF MY BASIC AMERICAN RIGHTS!!!!   
Shinigami: ... I don't think that's helping no da...   
Verie: but it makes me feel better.   
Shinigami: ;_;'   
Schu: ... exactly where are we going, anyway? Prison or a mental institution?   
Brad: they can't put us in prison for threatening to kill a Costco employee...   
Verie: ... they can put you in prison for actually attempting it.   
Brad: he was asking for it.   
Verie: -.-;   
Ken: I didn't even do anything!!! I just woke up here!! WHAT'S GOING OOOON?!!   
Narrator: you haven't figured it out yet?   
Yohji: ~hugging bottle of shampoo~ they don't provide good shampoo in prison... I might get split ends.... SPLIT ENDS!!!!   
Schu: .. we haven't even gotten there and you're all already cracking. WEAKLINGS.   
Others: SHUT UP!   
Shinigami: .. wait.. where's Jimmy?   
Verie: ... .... I have no idea.. she didn't go to Costco with us, did she?   
Shinigami: .. I dunno no da...   
Nagi: maybe we'll get a phone call and we can call her to bring help.   
Verie: hopefully.   
Brad: can we depend on her to help us?   
Verie: probably not.   
Ken: .. that's not very reassuring..   
Farf: but it hurts God. Prison hurts God ^-^   
Brad: we're not going to prison.   
Verie: which is lucky, because we could be since we've got an attemped murderer and a pedophile.   
Narrator: I'm NOT a pedophile. I was merely narrated the child's actions.   
Verie: WHICH YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO!! REAL LIFE DOES NOT NEED A NARRATOR!!!   
Narrator: it would all make much more sense if-   
Verie: SHUT UP.   
Shinigami: ... they don't have graphic novels in mental institutions no da...   
Verie: ... .... ... .HACK//INFECTION!!! ~bangs on the wall of the van~ I NEED .HACK//INFECTION TO LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEE!!!   
Aya: someone shut her up...   
Schu: gladly. ~knocks Verie out with an empty coffee can~   
Brad: .. where the hell did you get that?   
Schu: plot hole.   
Narrator: damn plot holes.   
Farf: they hurt God.   
Yohji: but they don't keep my hair from getting split ends, now do they?!   
Brad: we do not care about your hair. We have MUCH more important matters to worry about. Such as the lack of COFFEE in mental institutions.   
Schu: caffeine-addict.   
Brad: Nazi.   
Schu: I'M NOT A NAZI!!! -.-   
Brad: and I'm not a caffeine-addict.   
Schu: yes, you are. You were going through withdrawls this morning.   
Brad: ... .. no I wasn't.   
Schu: were too.   
Brad: was not.   
Schu: were too.   
Aya: shut up, both of you. 

_*Yet another convenient scene transition....*_   
__ __

Guy-In-White-Coat#1: Welcome to your new, temporary home.   
Verie: ~now conscious~ hey.. this place looks familiar.   
Brad: figures.   
Verie: ... hey.. THIS IS MEMORIAL CENTER! ~cackles maniacally~   
Omi: .. I'm not even going to ask how you know this place...   
Verie: for the record: I call the big room. >.> And my mom works here.   
Nagi: your mom... works in a mental institution...   
Verie: yes.   
Ken: ... I'm scared.   
Verie: but she works nights, so we won't be seeing her.   
Brad: ... ah.   
GIWC2: Which one of you goes by the alias "Shinigami"?   
Shinigami: .. me no da...   
GIWC2: You'll be first for the test.   
Shinigami: o.o;;;   
Verie: ... >.> bye. I'll be in the only room with a kitchen unit.   
Ken: wait! You get a kitchen unit?   
Verie: ... yes. ~runs~   
Ken: I WANT A KITCHEN UNIT!!! ~runs after her~   
Brad: ... ... they give mental patients kitchen units... .... _why?_   
Schu: because the doctors are crazier than the patients.   
GIWC2: ~drags Shinigami off~   
Shinigami: DAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! 

_*Later, in an examination room that may or may not exist in real life, but I don't think it does.*_   
__ __

Doctor: Hello, "Shinigami."   
Shinigami: .... konnichiwa no da.   
Doctor: ... ... ... eh?   
Shinigami: it means good afternoon no da.   
Doctor: I see... and what is this.. "no da"?   
Shinigami: it's a verbal exclamation mark.   
Doctor: uh huh... and in.. what language, exactly?   
Shinigami: Japanese no da.   
Dr: ... I see. So, do you make up languages often?   
Shinigami: ... ... eh? ;_;' it's Japanese...   
Dr: and where do they speak this... 'Japanese'?   
Shinigami: .... Japan....   
Dr: and where is this... 'Japan'?   
Shinigami: .... in the Pacific ocean.. off the coast of China. North of Australia.   
Dr: I see... and has anyone told you about this... 'Japan'?   
Shinigami: .... history, anime... Japan's mentioned a lot of places...   
Dr: Mm hmm... so, you make up your own little world to get away from reality...   
Shinigami: .. it's real no da...   
Dr: I'm sure it is.   
Shinigami: but.. it is no da...   
Dr: It's ok, I'm here to help. Now tell me, does anyone tell you to speak this language?   
Shinigami: .. not really no da...   
Dr: I see.   
Shinigami: .. Japan's a real place.... everything's made in Japan.. that pen you're writing with says "made in Japan" on it no da..   
Dr: I'm sure it does.   
Shinigami: you're not listening to me no da!! >.;;   
Dr: I see.   
Shinigami: SEE?!! >.;;;   
Dr: ~writes stuff down on note pad~   
Shinigami: >.;; Damn Bakersfield no da!!   
Dr: Do you frequently have such violent tendencies...?   
Shinigami: .... .. shut up no da.   
Dr: Do these... 'Japanese' tell you to hate Bakersfield?   
Shinigami: ~screams~ JAPAN'S REAL, DAMNIT!! IT'S WRITTEN ON YOUR GODDAMN PEN!! ~grabs a pencil holder~ SEE?!!! ~points at the "Made in Japan"~ SEE?!!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!!!!   
Dr: ~writes on notepad: "Delusional. Violent tendencies. Padded room recommended"~ 

  


_~*To Be Continued*~___

********************* 

A/N:   


Verie: I decided to have a short intermission series thing... ... for no apparent reason. ~nodnod~ I'm sure none of you are surprised that I just got back from Costco. If any of you don't have a Costco, it's a really huge store where you can buy everything in bulk and save a lot of money and stuff. ~nodnod~ And it's HUGE. And they give out free samples. And there's this cool lady with an eyepatch who's really nice, so yeah.. I kind of included her. And today they had vegan cheeseburgers. .. With cheese. Which isn't vegan. It's vegetarian. Not vegan. >.> that kind of bugged me just a bit. False advertising and all. 

Yes, I have met Buddhist monks at Costco. They were cool. There was also a nun. So.. yeah. 

And now for the mental institution... yeah, my mom does work at one. Yes, there is a room with a kitchen unit. Yes, there are armored doors. .... Sadly, I'm not allowed to be there, so all I know is the padded room, the room with the kitchen unit (I spent the night there once when the power went out at home, so that's the only room I really know anything about other than what mom's told me), and the hallway. Yeah, it's pathetic. But the other nurses/doctors there are crazy and think that I'll bother them or something while I'm there (gee, it's not like there's anyone more annoying than me in a mental institution. Just ignore the girl who's attacking them with a piece of the airconditioner. -.-; seriously, I haven't tried to kill anyone with a chunk of metal I ripped out of an airconditioning unit, and I doubt my being there would be any more bothersome than that. Then again, they're all crazier than the patients anyway -.-;)   


  
__   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. Intermission Part 2: Watashi no Tamagoya...

  
  
  
  
  


_*The others*_   


  
  
  
  


Verie: the room with the kitchen unit is miiiiiiiineeeeeeeee!!   
Ken: but.. I wanna cook!! ;_;'   
Verie: no. MINE.   
Ken: I wanna cook.   
Verie: tough luck.   
Yohji: ~sneaks into the room and slams the door~   
Verie&Ken: ;_;' NOOOOOOOOOO!!!   
Omi: ... this is really pathetic...   
Verie: ... Hey.. I just thought of something.. THIS IS THE ADOLESCENT UNIT!! So ha, THE KITCHEN UNIT ROOM IS MIIIIIIIIIINEEEE!!!   
Ken: aaaw...   
Yohji: ~blink~ you mean.. there's no girls over 18 here?   
Verie: not on this unit.   
Yohji: O.O; ~runs out~   
Verie: ... that was easy.   
Brad: then I'll be going.   
~All people over 18 leave~   
Verie: ... ... ~whimper~ I feel so alone.   
Nagi: ... I'm alone... in a mental institution... ~twitch~   
Omi: ... ... this is creepy....   
Verie: >.> . I'm afraid of the other patients. People here can be really creepy. ~whimper~   
Nagi: .... ~runs into the room with the kitchen unit and slams the door~   
Verie: ... DAMNIT. -.-;   


  


_*People over 18*_   


  
  
  


Schu: ... that sucks. That just.. really. really. SUCKS.   
Brad: ... So the adults get stereotypical hospital-style rooms, whereas the adolescents get kitchen units...   
Ken: ONE kitchen unit...   
Brad: It's still disturbing.   
Aya: shi-ne, room.   
Yohji: but there's women over 18 here! ^-^   
Brad: but they're all crazy.   
Schu: which means you might actually be able to score. ~snickers evilly~   
Yohji: >.;; shut up.   
Narrator: They're insane, not stupid.   
Yohji: HEY!! >.;; why does everyone make fun of me?   
Brad: because you make it easy for them to do so.   
Yohji: ... >.> shut up, you're just jealous because I have more fangirls.   
Brad: I, quite frankly, do not WANT fangirls. They're creepy as hell.   
Schu: Fangirls are fun. I can have them attend to my evil biddings... ~snickers evilly~   
Others: ~back away from Schu~ o.o;;   


  


_*Verie, Nagi & Omi*_   


  
  
  


Verie: I'm bored.   
Nagi: .. this sucks. >.;;   
Omi: there's gotta be something to do....   
Verie: we can read "See Spot" again.   
Nagi&Omi: NO.   
Verie: ... Spot's cool.... >.>   
Nagi&Omi: o.o;; ~back away~   
Verie: whaaat??? He is! ;_;' or we can watch cable T.V.   
Omi: there's nothing on Bakersfield cable.   
Verie: my point exactly. But I don't even have cable. So it's better than the three stations I get at home.   
Nagi: .. that's sad.   
Verie: I know ;_;''   
Omi: so.. very... bored...   
Verie: I KNOW!! You two can act out my twisted yaoi fantasies! ^___^   
Nagi&Omi: HELL NO.   
Verie: ~sigh~ That's what I thought. Hmm... we can go to the cafeteria.   
Nagi&Omi: O.O; cafeteria? ~scared~   
Verie: They've got good cake. ~grabs Nagi and Omi and drags them off~   


  


_*Shinigami*_   


  


Dr: Welcome to your room. ~opens door~   
Shinigami: O.O; MYY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!! ~falls over screaming~ IT'S BLIIIINDIIIIIIIIIING!!!!   
Dr: We just got out padded room revamped. It used to be blue. But now it's this nice shade of pink ^-^ I chose the color myself!   
Shinigami: MY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!   
Dr: ~nudges Shinigami with his foot until she's inside the padded room and locks the door~   
Shinigami: ~twitches~ it's.. the same color as... pepto bismol... no da...... ~twitch twitch~ I. hate... PINK!!!!! ~convulsing~   


  


_*On the way to the cafeteria...*_   


  
  
  


Dr: ~walks up to Nagi, Omi, and Verie and grabs Verie and drags her off~ Time for your psychological evaluation.   
Verie: .... na.... ni?   
Dr: ... I see.... ~drags Verie into the evaluation room~   
Nagi&Omi: ... YAY! SHE'S GONE!! ^________^   
Verie: ~from inside room~ I HEARD THAT!!   
Nagi&Omi: ... ;_;'''   


  


_*Inside Evaluation Room*_   


  
  
  


Dr: Ok, please state your full name.   
Verie: ... Verie. >.>   
Dr: ... last name?   
Verie: ... .. . Verie.   
Dr: ... First name?   
Verie: ... ... Verie ;_;'   
Dr: ... I... see..... middle name?   
Verie: Verie! ^-^   
Dr: .... your real name, please?   
Verie: Veeeriiieeee.   
Dr: Give me your real name.   
Verie: ... Brad.   
Dr: O.o;; I said real name.   
Verie: My real name is Brad ^_^   
Dr: no, it's not.   
Verie: How do YOU know my name's not Brad? OR Verie?   
Dr: Because 'Verie' isn't a name, and you're a girl.   
Verie: Verie IS a name, oddly enough. I made it up, but it later turned out it already existed as a guy's name. And who said I was a girl?! >.> .   
Dr: ... Because it's obvious?   
Verie: ... The lady in Hawaii didn't think I was a girl...   
Dr: But you are a girl. And your name is not Verie OR Brad.   
Verie: Well if it's not Verie OR Brad, then what is it?   
Dr: >.;; That's what I'm trying to find out.   
Verie: well, good luck then.   
Dr: -.-;; I need YOU to tell me what your name is.   
Verie: Verie.   
Dr: Your REAL NAME! >.;;   
Verie: Crawford.   
Dr: ... .... so your last name is Crawford?   
Verie: yep ^-^   
Dr: and you're NOT lying to me?   
Verie: nope ^-^   
Dr: ... You're lying, aren't you?   
Verie: My full name is Brad Crawford. ~nodnod~   
Dr: ~face fault~ Ok, forget the name. We'll just move on.   
Verie: BANZAI! ^-^   
Dr: ... eh?   
Verie: .. It means 'yay.'   
Dr: ... In what language...?   
Verie: Japanese! ^_^   


  


_*Over 18 people*_   


  
  
  


Brad: I *DEMAND* to see my lawyer!!   
Schu: ... .. do we even have a lawyer anymore...? ;_;'   
Brad: ... what are you talking about?   
Schu: Because THEY ~point at Weiss~ killed that one. I don't think we ever got a new one. Because he was provided by Esset, because they always provided us with a lawyer, and then y'know we did that whole thing where we got rid of 'em so we lost all out company benefits, including the lawyer.   
Brad: .... .... you're right ;_;'   
Farf: ... God laughs ;_;'   
Ken: wait, you mean all this time you've threatened to sue us, you didn't even have a LAWYER?!   
Brad: .. shut up. I'm perfectly capable of representing myself in court.   
Ken: as long as you don't got crazy and kill the judge over a cup of coffee.   
Brad: ... -.-; shut up. He deserved what he got.   
Yohji: you could've just bought a cup of coffee at the little eating place they've got...   
Brad: that would cost money. Which I currently do not have. Because I haven't worked in however many months.   
Yohji: ... Ha! We've got more money than Schwarz!!! ~happy bandit dance~   
Narrator: .. Shinigami's gonna hurt you for stealing her dance. >.> ... despite the fact she stole it from somewhere else.   
Brad: children seem to enjoy taking other people's trademarks and then claiming them as their own.   
Schu: Yeah. .. We should sue. >.>   
Brad: ... I just realized that nurse left.   
Schu: she was probably afraid you'd steal her coffee.   
Brad: >.;; shut up. I need a phone. NOW. ~glares at Ken~   
Ken: .. what, am I suddenly your slave now?!   
Schu: .... hehehe.. slave... ~hentai thoughts~   
Brad&Ken: -.-;   


  


_*Verie*_   


  
  
  
  
  


Dr: argh.... ok, so let me get this straight.... your name is Brad Verie Crawford.   
Verie: .. sure, why not?   
Dr: >.;; and you're from some magical place called 'Germany.'   
Verie: >.> I'm German...   
Dr: And you speak a language you made up called 'Japanese.'   
Verie: ... Japanese is real...   
Dr: And there's a group of one 'Japanese' person, one 'German' and one American trying to kill you. Along with four other 'Japanese' people of a different group. Who name themselves after cats.   
Verie: yep ^_^   
Dr: and the first group is psychic.   
Verie: ~nodnod~ the American can tell when toast is going to come up out of the toaster before it happens. It's nifty.   
Dr: -.-;; and what was that last part?   
Verie: ... Goodbye my mars, I shot your pigs?   
Dr: ah yes... .. that.... ~writes down on notepad: "delusional, paranoid, violent tendencies. But the padded room's already occupied... keep tranquilizers around when dealing with."~ Ok, you can leave now. ~goes off to find the next victim~   
Verie: BANZAI!!!   


  


_*Shinigami*_   


  
  
  


Shinigami: ~twitch~ it's so... pink.... no da.... x.x;;;   
Nurse: ~opens door~ It's lunch time!!! ^___________^   
Shinigami: ... scary genki lady. .... .... but.. FREEDOM NO DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! ~runs for it~   


  


_*Over 18 people*_   


  
  
  


Brad: is it just me, or is it impossible to find a phone here?   
Schu: I think we're lost.   
Ken: .. the place really didn't look this big from the outside.   
Brad: it's all an illusion. They want you to THINK it's a small building. But infact, it's HUGE.   
Schu: ... ... you really are crazy. FARFIE crazy.   
Farf: ... ... that hurts God. ^_^   
Aya: that's getting to be really repetitive.   
Schu: and shi-ne isn't?   
Aya: ... shi-ne.   
Dr: ~walks up and drags Brad into the Evaluation room~   
Brad: ... I am not amused. >.;;   
Schu: ... ... ok.. that was freaky >.>   
Yohji: .. does anyone have any idea where that guy came from?? ~looks around~   
Ken: .... no... .   
Schu: ... ... there must be a secret passage... >.>   
Schu,Ken,Yohji,Aya: ~look all paranoid and stuff~   
Farf: ... ... and you people call ME crazy....   


  


_*Evaluation Room*_   


  
  
  


Dr: Please state your name.   
Brad: .. Brad Crawford. >.>   
Dr: ... ~face fault~   
Brad: .. what?   
Dr: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND THE NAME BRAD CRAWFORD?!!   
Brad: ... nani...? ;_;'   
Dr: ... >.;; argh!! Let me guess, you're 'Japanese' too, aren't you?!   
Brad: .. I'm American. ... But currently residing in Japan.   
Dr: -.- and your name is Brad Crawford.   
Brad: ~lost~ ... yes? ;_;'   
Dr: ~glares~ you're lying to me. 'Brad Crawford' is some kind of name you've all made up so we can't find your medical records! BUT WE'LL FIND THEM, DAMNIT!! NO MATTER HOW MANY FAKE NAMES YOU MAKE UP!!!!   
Brad: ... the hell? o.o;;   


  


_* Later in the Cafeteria*_   


  
  
  


Shinigami: padded rooms are scary no da ;_;'   
Verie: because it's pepto bismol pink?   
Shinigami: YES!! NO DA!!   
Verie: ... I pity you deeply if you had to look at that.   
Shinigami: >.;; they locked me in.   
Nagi,Omi,Verie: ouch.   
Shinigami: ~nodnod~ da.   
Brad: ~walks in and points at Verie accusingly~ YOU!!!   
Verie: her? ~points at Shinigami~   
Brad: no, you.   
Verie: me?   
Brad: Shut up. I'm trying to yell at you.   
Verie: eh?   
Brad: You told the stupid shrink that your name was Brad Crawford and that Japan was a fictional place you made up, didn't you?!   
Verie: ... Yes, I told him my name is Brad Crawford, because it is. And he thought that weird Japan thing up on his own.   
Brad: Your name is NOT Brad Crawford!   
Verie: My nickname is ^-^   
Brad: He asked for your REAL name!!   
Verie: ~head tilt~ exactly. My real nickname.   
Brad: >.;; no, your real given name.   
Verie: he should have been more specific then.   
Brad: ~twitch~ I hate you.   
Shinigami: ... you really do say that a lot no da.   
Verie: We should all sing Deatte Shimatta.   
Nagi: .... that was... random.   
Verie: that it was! ^-^   
Brad: ... .... where the hell is everyone else?   
Omi: how're we supposed to know? We're "under 18" ~grumbles~   
Brad: You're not missing out on much. The adolescent unit's rooms are a lot better than the adult's.   
Verie: ha ^_^   
Brad: shut up. .. They have coffee here, right?   
Verie: sadly, no.   
Brad: ~twitch~   
Omi: ... ... I'm fearful.   
Shinigami: we all are no da.   
Nagi: .. isn't Crawford's caffeine withdrawl what got us here in the first place?   
Verie: yep.   
Brad: -.-; I was not having caffeine withdrawl.   
Omi: you attacked a guy because he wouldn't give you another free sample of espresso.   
Brad: For the last time, HE WAS ASKING FOR IT!   
Others: ~role their eyes~   
Shinigami: sure, Bradchan no da.   
Brad: ... ... what the hell did you just call me? ~twitch~   
Verie: Crawfuchan works too.   
Shinigami: Kurofuchan! ^-^   
Verie: Kurochan!   
Brad: ~twitches~   
Verie: Braddisshu!!   
Brad: ... .... did you just call me a radish? >.;;   
Omi: apparently.   
Verie&Shinigami: ~continue mangling Brad's name~ 

_*The other over-18 people*_   
__   
__   
  


Schu: according to my calculations, the secret passage should be aboooout.. here. ~points at the floor~   
Ken: .. how can you tell?   
Schu: my amazingly cool psychic powers.   
Yohji: ... how does being telepathic allow you to know where the secret passage is?   
Schu: it just does. Obviously.   
Others: ;_;'   
Farf: ... ... I'm the sanest person here. ;_;'   
Schu: anyhow, so we take our sporks-   
Yohji: .. I don't have a spork...   
Schu: you can't be trusted with a spork.   
Ken: I don't have a spork either..   
Schu: likewise.   
Aya: Let me guess, I can't be trusted with a spork either, right?   
Schu: exactly. ^-^   
Yohji: so we take our sporks --which we don't have-- and do what?   
Schu: dig. Obviously.   
Ken: ok. Start digging, then.   
Schu: ~pauses~ .... Farf, start digging.   
Farf: I don't have a spork.   
Schu: ~hands Farf the spork~   
Farf: ... ~starts poking himself with the spork~   
Schu: ... no, no, DIG damnit.   
Farf: this hurts God more.   
Schu: ~grabs spork~ gimme that. Hidaka, you've officially graduated to "someone who can be trusted with a spork."   
Ken: I'm so proud -.-   
Schu: you SHOULD be. ~shoves the spork at Ken~ now dig.   
Ken: I don't feel like attempting to dig through carpet.   
Schu: well fine. We'll just walk around in circles for the REST OF OUR LIVES.   
Yohji: I'll leave a beautiful corpse.   
Schu: ... shut up.   
Farf: ~walks off~   
Schu: hey, where are YOU going?!   
Farf: back the way we came.   
Others: .. na.. NANI?!   
Farf: what?   
Schu: .. you actually know what direction we came from?!   
Farf: of course.   
Yohji: .. so we've been lost all this time for NO REASON?!   
Farf: We were lost?   
Others: YES!!!   
Farf: .. hehe... being lost hurts God...   
Others: ;_;'' 

_*Later, in the cafeteria*_   
__ __

Shinigami: ... I can't think of anymore no da...   
Verie: ... we can call him "Lee" .. from BradLEY. ... But.. no...   
Brad: >.;; would you two STOP SCREWING WITH MY NAME?!   
Verie: Crawfiechan.. Maruchen..   
Others: .. maruchen?! ;_;'   
Verie: Sure! You've got Kurofuchan, which can be turned into Kurochan, which can be turned into Kurochen, which can be turned into Karuchen, which can be turned into Maruchen! ^-^   
Shinigami: .. that's a stretch no da.   
Verie: ... I was running out of ideas ;_;'   
Nagi: ... so, now Crawford is not only a relative of a lobster, but also a brand of ramen...   
Verie: he's also a radish. ~nodnod~   
Brad: I hate you all.   
Verie: And an insect.   
Brad: I REALLY hate you.   
Verie: .. and that's all we've got. ~sigh~   
Schuldich: Braaadchaaaan!!   
Brad: ~jumps up~ SHUT THE HELL UP!!   
Schuldich: ... what the hell is wrong with you?   
Nagi: They ~points at Verie and Shinigami~ have been mauling his name for the last thirty minutes.   
Verie: Crawlie-sama ^-^   
Schuldich: haha.. spiffy.   
Brad: It is is no way 'spiffy.'   
Schuldich: your opinion doesn't count.   
Yohji: we're not lost anymore!!   
Farf: we were never lost...   
Aya: shi-ne.   
Farf: fine, then. ~goes off to get some butter knives to entertain himself~   
Verie: whose name should we maul now?   
Shinigami: ... I dunno no da... none of the others are as easy.   
Verie: sou, sou...   
Brad: ~twitches~ are we even going to attempt to get out of here?   
Verie: .. when they run out of cake?   
Brad: ~glare~ they don't have coffee here, correct?   
Verie: ... ~nodnod~   
Brad: ~death glare~ and if they don't have coffee, I am not spending the night here.   
Verie: ... dude, yer more addicted to caffeine than *I* am.   
Shinigami: .. wait.. haven't we already covered that no da?   
Verie: probably. I just had to reiterate.   
Narrator: for the sake of the audience.   
Verie: ... ... sou.. sou....   
Shinigami: .. so.. now what no da?   
Brad: we can try to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.   
Verie: or we can sing the Tamagoyaki song!!   
Shinigami: TAMAGOYAKI! ^_____^   
Brad: ~bangs head on table~   
Nagi: ... can't we get out of here before we meet any other patients?   
Shinigami: ~singing~ pappara funi funi, pappara hoe hoe!   
Nagi: -.-;   
Omi: .. she's singing about eggs...   
Verie: to the tune of Mozart! ^-^   
Brad: .. someone kill me.   
Shinigami: .. I don't remember the rest no da...   
Verie: O.O; noooooooooooooooooooo!!! WATASHI NO TAMAGOYAKI!! And my CD is back at the warehouse place.. ;_;'   
Brad: thus, we should attempt to leave. .. As much as I want to kill you if you make me listen to that song again.   
Shinigami: Watashi no Tamagoyaki hurts God no da ^-^   
Brad: >.;; it hurts my mind.   
Verie: your mind is easily harmed.   
Brad: shut up.   
Verie: anyhow, fine. I'll show you people where the phone is.   
Brad: FINALLY. 

_*At the front desk, with the phone*_

  
__ __

Verie: .. so um.. who the hell should we call?   
Shinigami: .. Jimmy no da?   
Verie: mmkay. ^-^ ~calls Jimmy~ 

_*With Jimmy*_   
__ __

Jimmy: ~listening to Watashi no Tamagoyaki and reading graphic novels~ Pappara funi funi pappara hoe hoe! Pappara funi funi tamago! Pappara funi funi pappara hoe hoe!   
~phone rings~   
Jimmy: ~oblivious~ Yaitara kagechatta! Pappara funi funi pappara hoe hoe! Pappara funi funi o imo.Pappara funi funi pappara hoe hoe! Yedetara togechatta! 

  
  


_*Back at the mental institute*_ __

Verie: ;_;' she's not picking up...   
Brad: >.;; damn children. Damn them to HELL.   
Nagi: thanks a lot >.;;   
Verie: answering machine... JIMMY!! PICK UP THE PHONE!! ... OR I'LL KIRU YOU!!!   
Omi: ;_;' buy?   
Nagi: shuffle? ;_;'   
Yohji: wear? ;_;'   
Verie: .. Shuffle. Anyhow, PICK UP THE PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ... ... ~whines~ pick up the phoooneeee!! Or I'll have Kefka braid Sephiroth's hair!! I'LL DO IT!!! ~sigh~ if she didn't pick up to that, she's not picking up to anything. ~twitch~ ~hangs up~   
Shinigami: .. what now no da? ;_;'   
Verie: who else can we call??? ;_;''   
Shinigami: ... Bryce no da?   
Verie: ... that might work. ~calls Bryce~ Hallo?   
Bryce: Hello?   
Verie: Bryce!! It's Brad!   
Bryce: IS SHE ONLINE?!   
Verie: eh? yes...? no..? ;_;' ~confused~   
Bryce: she is?! ~hangs up~   
Verie: ... .. oh! He meant his GIRLFRIEND. ~massive sweatdrop~   
Brad: .. don't tell me he just hung up.   
Verie: ^_^;; I kinda sorta accidentally gave him the impression his girlfriend was online.... >.> so he hung up....   
Shinigami: >.;; da.   
Yohji: .. how the hell did you do that?!   
Verie: Well, it's my job to call him if his girlfriend's online and he's not.. sooo.. jah.   
Brad: I'm going to kill you. Sooner rather than later if we don't get out of here.   
Verie: Hey, we've got plenty of other people we can call!   
~long pause~   
Brad: .. such as...?   
Verie: .. hold on.. I'm thinking ;_;'   
Others: ~face fault~   
Shinigami: ... Aya no da?   
Aya: .. I'm right here...   
Verie: other Aya.   
Omi: Aya-chan?   
Verie: no, the other Aya.   
Others: .. eh?   
Verie: ... the Unofficial Weiss Aya. Like how Jimmy is Omi and so on and so forth.   
Omi: ... o.. kay... ;_;'   
Brad: .. do you even know her phone number?   
Verie: .. never called her ^_^;;   
Brad: >.;;   
Shinigami: or Yohji no da.   
Verie: Yes! Yohji!   
Yohji: .. this is really confusing....   
Verie: ... Mononoke Yohji.   
Yohji: .. still confusing...   
Shinigami: lemme call. ~grabs the phone~ ~calls~ ... no answer no da... ;_;'   
Verie: We can call Aussie Schwarz!   
Shinigami: ... phone numbers...?   
Verie: ... ... eeeh... ... >.> scheisse. Brad, what's Aussie Schwarz's phone numbers?   
Brad: beats me.   
Verie: ~face fault~ HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT KNOW?!!!   
Brad: ... ~shrug~   
Verie: ... ... >.;; you're supposed to know these things.   
Brad: and you're NOT?   
Verie: .. shut up. We probably can't call out to Australia anyway... >.> hmmm.... Matt?   
Shinigami: .. would Matt care no da?   
Verie: ... it's his fault we're here anyway.. but no, he wouldn't. ~sigh~   
Nagi: .. wait.. who's Matt, and how is it his fault we're here?   
Verie: He's a person. And everything's his fault. He's our official scapegoat. ~nodnod~   
Nagi: .. that's kind of you.   
Verie: Yep ^-^   
Nagi: -.-; I was being sarcastic.   
Verie: .. we can order a pizza.   
Shinigami: that works no da ^-^   
Brad: >.;; WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING OUT OF HERE! NOT ORDERING FREAKING PIZZAS!!!   
Verie: when the pizza guy comes, we can run over, knock him out with a our 1337 assassin skills, and then take his hat and steal his car. ~nodnod~   
Others: ... ~blink~   
Ken: .. that's the best plan you've ever thought up.   
Brad: ... which is saying something, since it's an incredibly flawed plan.   
Verie: ... shut up. It's so crazy, it just MIGHT WORK.   
Brad: ... why do I get the sudden feeling I'm going to wake up in a padded room...? ~sigh~   
Shinigami: Don't let them get you in there. It's pepto bismol pink no da.   
Brad: O.O;   


_*Later*_ __

Pizza Guy: ... ~looks at various locks on door in confusion~ um... hello..? ;_;' ... did anyone order a pizza?   
Ken: Yes, I did! ^-^ ~magically opens the door with a paperclip~   
Pizza Guy: um... ok... your total is-   
Verie: ~hits the guy in the back of the head with a clipboard~   
Pizza Guy: ow! What the hell? ~turns around~   
Verie: ... ... damn clipboards to hell! ~sits there whacking the pizza guy with the clipboard~ work, damnit!! >.;;   
Pizza Guy: OW! OW! OW! o.o;; ~tries to get away~   
Brad: goddamnit, you don't do it right. ~breaks the clipboard over the Pizza Guy's head~   
Pizza Guy: ~unconscious~   
Brad: see?   
Verie: ... ... THAT WAS SO FREAKING COOL! *____*   
Shinigami: ... you're easily impressed no da... ... but so am I. DO IT AGAIN NO DA!!!   
Brad: -.-; if you two don't shut up, I'll do it to you.   
Verie: .. ... dude.. that'd be awesome *_*   
Schuldich: You just don't understand the minds of fangirls, Brad. If you were to kill 'em, they'd be thinking "Woah! I just got killed by Brad! AWESOME." .. thus, not achieving the effect you'd be looking for.   
Brad: .. damn fangirls -.-;   
Schuldich: ~pats Brad on the head~ poor Braddie.   
Brad: o_x;; stop that.   
Shinigami: it's annoying, isn't it no da?!   
Verie: ~pats Shinigami~   
Shinigami: >.;;   
Ken: .. um.. are we leaving.. or what?   
Verie: oh right! WE NEED THE TAMAGOYAKI SONG!!!   
Shinigami: TAMAGOYAKI!! ^____^   
Brad: >.;; the words "shut up" are completely foreign to you people, aren't they?   
Verie: ta.. ma... go?   
Brad: ... ... that's what I thought. -.-;   
Farf: ... injuring pizza guys hurts God. ^_^   
Brad: >.> ~steals the pizza guy's keys~ I can't believe I'm lowering myself to... ~shudder~ driving a pizza delivery car... ~cringe~   
Yohji: .... e.e; I don't wanna be caught in a car like that....   
Aya: ~nodnod~   
Schuldich: no way I'd be caught dead in that thing.   
Verie: >.;; so who the hell's supposed to drive?   
Ken: not I.   
Brad: ... Although, I think I'd rather die than let Verie drive...   
Verie: I'll be 15 in a couple days. But I'm also deathly afraid of driving. So yeah, I don't think that helps us any.   
Shinigami: I'll drive no da! ^-^   
Others: ... no. ;_;'   
Nagi: >.;; idiots. I'll drive. ~takes the keys~   
Others: that works ^-^   


  
__

_*Back at the warehouse place-ish thing*_   
__

  


Verie: TADAIMA!   
Jimmy: where've you all been?   
Shinigami: ... long story no da...   
Verie: You missed seeing Brad attack a guy at Costco! AND you missed seeing him knock out the pizza guy!! ^_________^   
Brad: -.-;   
Jimmy: ... I think I was better off staying here... >.>   
Shinigami: definately no da.   
Verie: Brad!! Do the clipboard thing again!!! *____*   
Brad: SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN CLIPBOARD THING!! >.;;   
Verie: but it was soooooooo cool!   
Jimmy: I got to listen to Watashi no Tamagoyaki.   
Verie&Shinigami: WATASHI NO TAMAGOYAKI!!!   
Narrator: .. I fear for my sanity...   
Brad: we all do >.;;   
Farfie: songs about eggs hurt God. 

  


*********************   


A/N:   


Verie: ... ... yay! I finished it! Be proud of me!!! ^_^;;; And I actually finished it BEFORE my birthday. I'm impressed. Maybe I'll even be able to finish the last part of Disc 1 of FF8. ^-^ Because.. I've decided to have a kind of long intermission between Disc 1 & 2, during which I'll be doing other things (things with plots, so it won't all be intermission stuff like what we've had). 

So if I get the last part of Disc 1 done before my birthday (think Easter), I'll do an Easter/my birthday intermission thing. Or maybe I'll just do the Lion King. ~head tilt~ depends which would entertain me more. 

And on a completely random note: 

I HAVE A BRAD PLUSHIE!! ~cackles maniacally~ 

Yes, it WAS absolutely necessary for me to say that :P birthdays hurt God. Birthday presents involving Brad hurt God more. .. They also make me eextreeemeeeely happy. ^_____^ So yes, many thanks to Jimmy Omi for the Brad pin, and even more thanks to Shinigami Nagi, for the massively cool Brad plushie! ^________^ ~hyper now~ (be afraid. Be very afraid.)   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	19. DISC 1: Part 5: Feareth The Plushies

Notes: Once again, (blah) is Brad, and [blaaah] is Ayastis.   
  


*BACKSTAGE*   


  
  
  


Verie: Haaallooo!!   
Others: ~death glare~   
Verie: ... ^_^;;   
Brad: You do realize that once again, you've left us here for an ungodly amount of time?   
Farf: ~death glare to Brad~   
Brad: ...   
Verie: .. how long HAS it been, anyway?   
Omi: Well, your last update was in... April, I think...   
Brad: And now it's June.   
Verie: School's out. ^_^   
Brad: ~throws glowblade at Verie~ DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.   
Verie: Blame my finals!   
Nagi: that only accounts for a week of absence.   
Verie: shut up. Or I'll skip the last part of disc 1 of FF8 and just move on to Romeo and Juliet. And you'll be Juliet.   
Nagi: I'll be quiet. ^_^;;   
Verie: As I thought.   
Brad: .. wait.... You're not making me Romeo, are you?!   
Verie: ... DUH, Brad. DUH.   
Brad: ~convulses~   
Shinigami: So you won't be casting Brad as the Prince in that...   
Verie: Depends on whether or not he gets me to pity him before I write that chapter. ~headtilt~ Anyhow, I've got a ton of stuff for all of you to do! .. Most of it completely off-topic, but oh well!!   
Schuldich: Anything that might amuse me?   
Verie: ... You get to be Excel if I get around to writing an Excel Saga chapter.   
Schuldich: . . . spiffy?   
Verie: much.   
Brad: ~twitch~   
Verie: We'll also be doing the Pirates of Men's Pants.   
Brad: That's Panzance you idiot.   
Verie: Not the version we're doing. ^_^   
Brad: ~twitch~   
Verie: See, Panzance lacked a plot. Men's Pants has a plot. .. I think.   
Brad: You're just going to make it up, aren't you?   
Shinigami: have you ever HEARD of a play called The Pirates of Men's Pants no da?   
Brad: no..   
Shinigami: There's the answer to your question.   
Brad: >.; damnit.   
Verie: Anyhow, we're going to get this part done, so I can move on!! ^___^   
Brad: ~twitch~   


  


*************** 

~*DISC ONE: PART FIVE*~   
  


So our overly pathetic heroes woke up, and continued their journey to Galbadia Garden. They also got to watch a spiffy FMV sequence which Verie's too cheap to provide us when they found it. So they wandered in... 

"Woah.. it's like.. so different!" Totophie exclaimed. 

"Duh." Brad grumbled. 

"I'm going to go shi-ne someone into helping us..." Ayastis grumbled. 

"That was soo not your line." Kell said, receiving a death glare from Ayastis. 

"Do you want this chapter to be over or not?!" He demanded and walked off. 

"Well, according to the script, we have to wander off to some random room and sit there for a ridiculous amount of time doing absolutely nothing of any value what-so-ever." Brad stated. 

"I thought you didn't have a copy of the script." Kell blinked. 

"I stole yours, idiot. Now c'mon." Brad said, grabbing Totophie and Kell and dragging them off to the amazingly spiffy Second Floor Reception Room! 

"Who votes we skip all the random talking that doesn't have anything to do with anything?" Brad asked. 

"You only want to skip it because it's all our lines..." Totophie pouted. 

"Do you enjoy living?" Brad glared. 

"... Yes?" 

"Then you'll skip those lines." 

"Um.. kay..." Totophie whimpered. 

Just then, Ayastis conveniently entered!! 

"And? Is this chapter over yet??" Brad asked. 

"You've got the script right there. You should know it's not. Anyhow, Balamb Garden is safe-" 

"**_Censored_**." 

"Shut up, Crawford or whatever your last name is in this." Ayastis glared. 

"It's Leonhart." Kell volunteered. 

"You shut up too. They've decided that the attack on the President in Timber was an independent action, therefore Garden won't be held responsible." 

"Then Scheifer's taking all the blame?" Kell asked. 

"The trial's over, and the sentence has been carried out." Ayastis responded. 

"... He was executed? .. Of course he was.. he attacked the President... He sacrificed himself for us..." Ominoa whimpered. 

"Hey, it's your group that started all this **_censored_**. You should've been prepared for the consequences." Ayastis said coldly. 

"... That was cruel. You all really hate him, don't you?" Totophie asked. 

"DUH." Everyone stated in unison, excluding Ominoa. 

"I... really liked him, even though I don't but I will for this, he was so. confident.. and smart.. and who the **_censored_** wrote this script?!" Ominoa exclaimed. 

"Squaresoft. Now shut up and move on." Verie said from offstage. 

"Dude, was he your boyfriend or something?" Totophie asked. 

Ominoa started twitching. 

"Can be skip this part?" 

"No." Ayastis grumbled. 

"Fine... I liked him, but I don't know what he thinked and I'm overly annoying and blah blah blah..." Ominoa mumbled. 

Brad twitched. 

"What's wrong?" Kell asked. 

"I won't have it!" 

"Eh?" Kell asked. 

"Are you MAD?!" Totophie exclaimed. 

"I'M NOT SAYING THIS STUPID LINE!!!!"(1) Brad exclaimed, running out the door. 

There was a stunned silence, until finally everyone started snickering. 

So, back with Brad... 

"Yo.. Brad... why do I have to talk like Schuldich?!" Naijin whined. 

"What are you doing here?" Brad grumbled. 

"I'm the messenger... you know... I brought a new message from Headmaster Shinigami. .. You know." Naijin said, twitching every time he had to say 'you know.' 

"And...?" Brad asked. 

"I gave it to the Headmaster here. .. It's what Shinigami told me to do." Naijin replied. 

"EXPLAIN." Farfjin cut in. 

".. You're too into this, Farf.... Anyhow, we were supposed to go to Timber. But all the trains are shut down, so we had to come here ya know?" Naijin said. 

"This script hurts God. SCHEIFER?" 

"Oh yeah! Wasn't Scheifer with you?" Naijin asked. 

"He's dead." Brad replied. 

"LIES!!!" Farfjin exclaimed homicidally. 

"He'd never put up with a trial, much less an execution." Naijin nodded. 

"FIND!" Farfjin exclaimed. 

"Well, we're gonna go off and look for him..." Naijin said, and the two left as Brad went on to the reception room. 

"Let's just wait here. The Headmaster should be coming any second now." Ayastis stated. 

"He's LATE." Totophie whined. 

"Phwee! I am Headmaster Jimmy Sprinkles!" Jim exclaimed. 

"... ... I can't believe this." Brad muttered. 

"I have your official orders. And after careful consideration of our options, we've decided to go along with Headmaster Shinigami's decisions. We've actually been planning the same thing for a long time now!" 

".. Can you tell us exactly what in **_censored_** **_censored_** you're talking about?" Brad glared. 

"Well, the sorceress has been appointed peace ambassador for the Galbadian Government. But it's all just a cover up! There won't be any peace talks, just threats. The sorceress creates fear among people, therefore peace talks are impossible. Galbadia's going to use this fear to negotiate favorable conditions for itself. It's clear that Galbadia's goal is world domination." Jim explained. 

"... .... Isn't that incredibly cliché and over-used?" Kell asked. 

"Yes, yes it IS." Brad said. 

"Shut up! I'm still saying my lines!! Anyhow, we entrust world peace and the future to you. .... ... We're gonna die...." Jim whimpered. 

"Yep." Brad nodded. 

"Well, here're your papers, if you have any questions as to how to skew this up more than you have already." Jim handed the papers to Brad. 

"It says here we need a sniper. We don't have a sniper. ... Why the **_censored_** do we need a sniper?" Brad blinked. 

"You thought Yohji wouldn't have a part in this at all? Geez. Introducing, Yovine!" Jim exclaimed dramatically. 

"AAAH!! IT'S A BEE! A BEE!!" Yovine exclaimed, grabbing a fly swatter from off-stage and using it to kill the bee. 

"Ok, I'm ok now." Yovine stated. 

Everyone else blinked, and then turned to glare at Verie offstage. 

".. I couldn't find any butterflies..." Verie whimpered. Everyone grumbled irritably and went back to the script. 

"Anyhow, yeah. He's your sniper." Jim nodded. 

"... Great." Brad grumbled. 

"'Allo. I hope you're all cool with me helpin' you." Yovine stated. 

"No. But oh well." Brad grumbled. 

".. I say things that get a rise out of people. Just don't let it bother you, and we'll get along ok." Yovine nodded. 

"... Dude... you're gonna be slaughtered with these people, then." Ominoa blinked. 

"So what's our mission?" Ayastis asked. 

"We're to assassinate the sorceress." Brad responded. 

".. Spiffy." Kell blinked. 

"We're going to head to the capital of Galbadia, which is Deling city." Brad added. 

"... Spiffy." Kell replied. 

"Say that one more time and I'll kill you." Brad glared. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

So on the train.... 

".. The sorceress wants to make Galbadia Garden her base of operations no da.." Student 1 said. 

".. Phwee?" Responded Student 2. 

"You know what'll happen then no da? Garden'll be taken over and we'll all be killed, axed, and eliminated no da!! ... That was a spiffy line.." Student 1 said. 

"... ... That scares me." Student 2 whimpered. 

"But it was fun to say no da!" Student 1 exclaimed. 

"Would you two shut up?" Brad grumbled, as Totophie ran off to go sing her train song somewhere else or whatever. 

"Hmm... perhaps it's fate... .. why couldn't someone else have been cast as her?" Yovine sighed, following. 

"So what do we do about HIM?" Kell asked. 

"Oh shut up.. I'm dealing with it.." Brad grumbled, walking off into the passage. 

"Totophie! We're destined to be together! ... Why did she have to cast Tot...? Ugh..." Yovine exclaimed. 

"Y-yeah right!" Totophie exclaimed. 

"... Yeah, I'm leavin' now." Yovine said, walking off. 

"... I had to walk all the way over here for nothing?!" Brad exclaimed. 

".. For a workaholic, you sure are lazy." Totophie blinked. 

"Go to **_censored_**." Brad grumbled, walking back to where the others are. 

"Haaallooo Ominoa...." Yovine purred. 

"Yovine, shut up." Ayastis grumbled. 

"No one understands me! Snipers are loners by nature.... We hone our instincts, pour our whole being into a single bullet. The pressure of the moment... an instant of tension.. that's what I have to face alone! It's not easy! So do me a favor and let me be!" Yovine exclaimed melodramatically. 

"... Do all of us a favor.. and never follow the script again." Brad stated. 

"Well, we're here..." Kell said, as the train stopped. 

"Big city... we're going to Persia's Mansion, right? So we need to take Bus 8." Ominoa nodded. 

"... I'm not taking a bus." Brad grumbled. 

"Do you want the chapter over or not?" Ominoa asked. 

".. Fine, where's Bus 8?" Brad sighed. 

"Over there, apparently..." Kell blinked. 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"... I rode a... _bus._" Brad twitched. 

"Oh shut up." Ayastis grumbled. 

"So we're here?" Kell blinked. 

"Obviously." Brad said, walking up to a Guard. 

"General Persia's mansion is right through this gate but..." 

".. But WHAT?" Brad demanded. 

"We can't just let you through. He wants to test your skills first." The Guard responded. 

"... How so?" Ayastis asked. 

"Well, you've gotta go to the Tomb of the Unknown King. .. That's about it. Bring back a code number." The Guard replied. 

"How do we get there?" Ominoa asked. 

"Simple, just take the bus across-" 

"WE'RE NOT TAKING THE BUS!!" Brad exclaimed, as everyone stared at him oddly. 

"Then walk across town and-" 

"I have an easier idea." Brad stated. 

"Eh?" 

"You let us through, and I let you live. It's a good trade, right?" Brad glared. 

"... ... Ok...." The Guard whimpered, opening the gate. 

"See? Wasn't that simple? And I didn't have to take the bus!" Brad said, walking through. 

"... You're overly violent when you're annoyed." Kell said. 

"Umm.. is my contract still in effect?" Ominoa asked. 

"... If I say 'no', will you believe me?" Brad asked. 

"Stop messing up the lines! Just don't leave me in this house, ok? Want to know why?" 

"No." Everyone stated in unison. 

"Good, because the script doesn't say why." Ominoa said, and they all walked into the mansion. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"How long have we been waiting here..?" Kell asked. 

"Too long. What happened with getting this chapter over with quickly?!" Brad demanded. 

"Hmph.. he always does this! Hold on, I'm going to go complain. And don't worry, this is my house." Ominoa said, wandering off. Seconds later, General Persia walked in. 

"... Where's Ominoa?" Kell asked. 

"She.. he... .. it... ... ..." Persia started, then got confused. 

"Just say 'he.' It's easier that way." Brad said. 

"Ah.. ok... well, he hasn't recieved the training you people have. He might become a burden, so I figure it's best he stay out of this operation." Persia explained. 

"He's already a burden..." Brad mumbled. 

"So you're Ominoa's father?" Totophie asked. 

"He hasn't called me that in a long time..." Persia said solemnly. 

"We're not here to deal with family conflicts." Ayastis muttered. 

"Wait.. so the father's a top military officer, and the son's a member of an anti-government faction? That's really... REALLY bad!" Kell exclaimed. 

"What did I just say?" Ayastis glared. 

"We're here to knock off the sorceress right, so can't we just get down to business?" Yovine asked. 

"Ok.. I'm sure you all know about the Galbadian government reaching an agreement with Sorceress Manx. There's going to be a ceremony tonight to commemorate the event. It'll be held at the Presidential Residence. During the ceremony, you will split into two teams and get into position. The Gateway team will enter the gateway and stand by, the sniper team will stand by at the front of the Presidential Residence until the ceremony is over." Persia explained. 

"... Great.." Brad mumbled. 

"There's the Presidential Residence. Once the ceremony ends, a parade for the sorceress will begin...." 

(This chapter is too long...) 

[Ah.. so you're starting this again...] 

(Yes, I am. Because if I have to lisen to that idiot much longer, I'm going to shoot myself in the foot.) 

[The others are all already asleep.] 

(I don't blame them...) 

"..So do you all know what to do?" Persia asked. 

"Of course." Brad and Ayastis responded, as Yovine started snoring. 

Persia sweatdropped. 

"Just... remember, the sniper team-" 

"Yeah, the sniper team shoots her, the gateway team stands around looking useful. Got it." Brad yawned, walking off. 

"No!! That's not it!!" Persia exclaimed, trying to stop everyone from leaving. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Ok, Ayastis, Yovine and I are the sniper team. Kell and Totophie, you get to be the gateway team. Stand by the gateway and look important, so hopefully any resulting gunfire will be aimed towards you." Brad stated. 

"... I object to this plan..." Kell whimpered. 

"Too bad. Ok, let's move out." Brad said, and he, Ayastis and Yovine made their way to the roof. 

".. That's just great... I get left here. Why am I so neglected?!" Kell whined. 

"Hey!" Ominoa exclaimed, running up. 

"Yay. I feel less alone now." Kell sighed. 

"Lookie what I found!" Ominoa exclaimed, holding up a random piece of jewelry. 

"... ... A random piece of jewelry?" 

"It's MAGIC. It'll suppress the sorceress' powers!" Ominoa exclaimed. 

".. I don't think we have time for this..." Kell blinked. 

"Well, what're we supposed to do that's more important?!" Ominoa demanded. 

"Stand by the gate looking important. Bye." Kell said, walking off with Totophie. 

"... It's not like I don't have a plan or anything! And it's waaay more effective than standing around looking important!" Ominoa exclaimed. 

So Kell and Totophie made it to the gate, and sat there looking important. 

".. Maybe I was too hard on him..." Kell sighed. 

"Eh?" Totophie asked. 

"I'm going to go find Ominoa and apologize." Kell said. 

"But.. you'll be leaving your post!" Totophie whined. 

"It's ok, all you have to do is stand there looking important and be sure to get shot if something comes up." Kell said, walking off. 

"But.. I don't wanna be shot!" Totophie exclaimed, running after him. 

~~~~~~~~~ 

"It'll be chaos out there soon. You'll be safe in here." Persia said to Ominoa, walking out of the room and closing the door. 

"Gah! He's gonna lock me in!" Ominoa exclaimed, rushing out of the room. 

Kell and Totophie rushed in shortly afterwards. 

"Ominoa! ... Wait..." Kell blinked, just as the door locked. 

"... That Persia guy..?" Totophie asked. 

"We're locked iiin!!" Kell exclaimed, kicking the door. 

~~~~~~~~ 

So Ominoa ran off to see the sorceress to give her the random piece of jewelry. 

"Um.. excuse me... I'm the son of.. um.. General Persia... so I thought I'd um... pay my respects, you know.. 'cause of my father and all. So I um.. brought you a small gift." Ominoa said, before Sorceress Manx used her evil magic powers of FLAMING DOOM on him, and knocking her out, then posessed him or something, and walking out to a podium above the city where President Deling (A/N: the brick, if any of you have forgotten...) was waiting. Ominoa, being posessed or something, followed in a trance-like state. He seemed kind of drunk or something, actually. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

"... Is that Ominoa..?" Brad glared. 

"... Looks like..." Yovine answered. 

"And he is up there... why?" Brad continued glaring. 

"To complicate things, I'm assuming." Yovine said. 

Brad glared some more. 

"Wow.. this is a really cruel speech... well.. ok... um.. I hate you all. You're idiots. What happened to the evil, cold-blooded sorceress from your fantasies? Where is she now? She stands before you now to become your ruler. HAHAHAHAHA-- ... I'm just not good at that laugh. I'll work on it. A new era has just begun..." Manx started. 

"Manx! What are you doing?!" President Deling "exclaimed" despite the fact his voice was coming from offstage. Manx picked up the brick and threw him over the balcony. 

"This is reality. No one can help you, so sit back and enjoy the show." Manx said, turning to walk away. "Let us end the ceremony with a sacrifice." She added, as two stuffed animals were thrown from offstage and Ominoa. 

"... That is.. so lame." Ominoa sighed. 

~~~~~~ 

"Hey... he's in trouble big time! We need to go help him!" Yovine exclaimed. 

"One: the parade hasn't started yet. Two: I don't care. Three: Since when do we follow the script when it involves work? And last of all, four: THEY'RE STUFFED ANIMALS." Brad exclaimed. 

"Inu Yasha and Kuronekosama stuffed animals." Yovine stated. 

".. Shut up." Brad glared. 

"I think there's another one of you, too." Yovine snickered. 

"SHUT UP." 

~~~~~~~~~ 

Back in Persia's mansion.... 

"Oh no! It's starting!" Totophie exclaimed. 

"We've gotta get out of here quick..." Kell sighed. 

"Maybe there's a key in here!" Totophie exclaimed. 

"... A key. That's right, he'd just LOCK US IN WITH THE STUPID KEY." Kell glared at Totophie, as she scrambled around the room searching for a key. 

"Or a secret passageway!" Totophie added, staring at a statue. 

"Right, he's just going to lock us into a room with the key and a secret passageway... real smart." Kell rolled his eyes, just as the statue moved aside to reveal a secret passageway. 

"... Hee!" Totophie exclaimed, running down the stairs. 

"... I've officially lost all respect for Persia." Kell blinked, following. 

~~~~~~~~~ 

And so, back with our sniper team... 

"Now's our chance! .. What are you waiting for? Ominoa might die!! ... Killed by a plushie form of you..." Yovine started snickering. 

"I thought I told you to SHUT UP?!" Brad glared. 

"Hey look.. it's Scheifer." Yovine said, pointing at where Scheifer was standing on the float smirking evilly. 

"... Peachy. Now shut up about the plushie thing." Brad said. 

"Both of you shut up. This is the last chapter, remember? We need to get this over with." Ayastis stated. 

"But.. we might be doing Romeo and Juliet next..." Brad twitched. 

"I DON'T CARE. We're getting this OVER WITH." Ayastis glared, and the three ran off and saved Ominoa from the evil anime plushies of DOOM, a.k.a Inu Yasha, Brad, and the Trigun cat. 

So Ominoa rushed over to Brad and threw his arms around him... ahem... what did I just say? 

"NO." Brad and Ominoa stated in unison. ... It's in the script guys. 

"NO." They glared. 

.. Well fine then. Just screw up the entire scene. See if I care! 

"Yovine, it's in your hands now." Brad said triumphantly, tossing the sniper rifle to Yovine, who took the gun and got into position. 

"Ominoa, Scheifer's alive. I saw him in the parade." Brad stated. 

".. What does it mean..?" Ominoa asked. 

".. That he's alive, you idiot." Brad blinked. 

"It was in the script, ok?!" Ominoa glared. 

"Well, Yovine? .. Don't tell me you're freaking out." Brad asked. 

"I.. I can't do it!" Yovine exclaimed. 

~~~~~~~~ 

Cue convenient scene transition to gateway party. 

"Yes! We made it to the gate! Just in time!" Kell exclaimed. 

".. What're we supposed to do...?" Totophie asked. 

".. Um... ... I dunno. I wasn't listening..." Kell blinked. 

"Ooh.. switch.." Totophie said, flipping a random switch, which closed the gates. 

".. Cool." Kell said, just as the float came up to the gates. Sorceress Manx looked really pissed off, and turned around to see the gates behind her close as well. 

~~~~~~ 

"YOVINE!!" Brad exclaimed. 

"I.. I'm sorry.. I just can't do it.. I always freeze up like this..." Yovine said. 

"JUST SHOOT HER!!!" 

"My bullet.. the sorceress.. I'll go down in history.. I'd change the history of Galbadia.. of the world! .. I just can't do it.. it's all too much.." 

"JUST **_CENSORED_** SHOOT HER!!" Brad spazzed. 

"I can't, **_censored_**!!" Yovine exclaimed, as Brad tackled him and tried to steal the gun. 

"I'll shoot her, then! Just to get this chapter over with!!" Brad exclaimed. 

"Fine! Take the stupid gun! Geez." Yovine grumbled, "Just have to screw up the entire script, don't you?" 

"Yes. Yes I do." Brad said, firing. 

The bullet sped at Manx, but then stopped, blocked by a MAGIC SHIELD OF DOOM. 

"... That's crap." Brad grumbled. 

"Ha." Yovine snickered. 

"Oh shut up. I'm going to go attack her on the ground. You three be ready to back me up." Brad said, running off. 

"Ha... YOU MISSED, BRAD!!" Yovine yelled after him. 

"I DID NOT!!! SHE BLOCKED IT!! THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!!" Brad yelled back irritably, before jumping off the second story, hitting some random person, and jumping into a spiffy convertible car and driving away from the crowd. Then, he crashed into the gate, jumped through the grating, and climbed to the top of the float where Manx and Scheifer were waiting for him, smirking evilly. 

"Well, this is how it turned out." Scheifer said. 

"You've become the sorceress' lapdog." Brad stated, as Scheifer started snickering uncontrollably. 

"SCHULDICH!!" Verie yelled from offstage. 

"I'm sorry..! But these lines!!" Scheifer continued snickering. 

Brad twitched irritably. 

"Want me to tell you about my ROMANTIC dream?" Scheifer started snickering again. 

"That's not your line and you know it." Brad glared. 

"Sorry, I just love saying that." Scheifer grinned. 

"I swear.. if you don't get on with the script.. I'm going to kill you." Brad glared. 

"Tsk tsk.. so violent, Braddie." Scheifer said, and so they got into a really spiffy glow-blade fight, with Scheifer's amazing red glow-blade, and Brad's amazing blue one. HUZZAH. 

Also, the author would like you to insert your own spiffy fight scene here, since she sucks at writing them. Thankyou for your time. 

"I.. lost?!" Scheifer exclaimed. 

"That's a stupid thing to say. Of course you lost." Brad stated. 

"Shut up. I'm following the script." Scheifer glared. 

".. You're losing it." Brad said, turning to fight Manx. 

".. It would make so much more sense if both she and I attacked you at once.." Scheifer grumbled, grabbing some popcorn and sitting there watching the fight. 

Ominoa and Yovine ran up to Brad to back him up. 

"Impudent SeeDs!!" Manx exclaimed, throwing an ice cube at the group, which went past Ominoa and hit Brad. 

Meanwhile, Scheifer kicked Brad's leg out from under him. 

"BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!" Ominoa screamed, as Brad fell a whopping six feet to the floor and offstage. 

*********************   


  
  
  
  


A/N: 

(1): The line Brad's refusing to say is "I WON'T HAVE ANYONE TALKING ABOUT ME IN PAST-TENSE!"   


Verie: and there you have it. The final chapter of Disc 1. THANK FARFIE. But yeah.. there'll be a long pause before I start disc 2, because I've found a lot of other stuff I'd like to turn into chapters too (yes, I'm looking forward to the Pirates of Men's Pants. ^_^) Oh, and any suggestions as to who should be who in Romeo and Juliet would be duely appreciated. ^_^; (I'm thinking of making Schu Tybalt, but as for who Juliet will be.. I'm totally clueless x.x;;) 

.. Isn't the ending just ever so dramatic and cliff-hanger-ee? ^_^;; 


	20. The Pirates of Men's Pants!

*BACKSTAGE*

  
  
  
  


Verie: ~walks in and points accusingly at Brad~ YOU!!!!!   
Brad: .. What did I supposedly do this time? -.-   
Verie: YOU NEVER TOLD ME OKIAYU VOICED DARK!!!!   
Brad: .. 1) You never asked. 2) It's not my job to encourage your obsessions.   
Verie: ~twitch~ You have to sing now.   
Shinigami: ~sighs in exasperation~ here we go again....   
Brad: No.   
Verie: Kodou. Sing Kodou.   
Brad: No.   
Verie: Or Groovy Blue. Because they were stupid and made a different cast for the drama album and so Okiayu didn't sing Groovy Blue.   
Brad: ... I'm not singing about kittens.   
Verie: Who eat junkfood.   
Brad: Yes.   
Verie: Which is high in calories.   
Brad: Exactly why I'm not singing that.   
Verie: That implies that you're going to sing something else.   
Brad: Which I am not.   
Verie: But you already said you would!   
Brad: You INFERRED that I said I would.   
Shinigami: . . . You sound like Mr. Sausedo. O.o;   
Verie: O.o;; Neon blue.   
Others: ~lost~ . . .   
Shinigami: hehehe... neon blue...   
Verie: ^_^;;;   
Schu: No inside jokes!   
Verie: ... Weren't you THERE at the time we MADE that inside joke?!   
Schu: It's not my job to remember everything that happens when I'm around you people.   
Verie: .. That makes no sense, but ok.... Brad! SING GROOVY BLUE!   
Brad: NO.   
Verie: But whyyy?!   
Brad: I am not going to sing!   
Verie: ~whine~ But-but... THE KITTEN! WHO DEVOURS JUNKFOOD! HIGH IN CALORIES!   
Schu: .. That sounds like a horribly amusing song.   
Verie: It IS.   
Others: o.o; DON'T LET HIM LISTEN TO IT!!!!   
Schu: -.- If you people don't shut up, I'll sing Rammstein.   
Others: NOOOOOOOO!!!!   
Schu: Exactly.   
Verie: Schwarzes Glas. ^_^   
Nagi: You only like that song because it has the word "Schwarz" in it.   
Verie: .. shut up. It's a good song. As is Groovy Blue. ~turns to Brad~ HINT HINT.   
Brad: Never. I'd rather die.   
Verie: Fine, then. If you won't sing, we'll just have to do a chapter. THE PIRATES OF MEN'S PANTS!   
Brad: THAT'S PENZANCE!   
Verie: Not this version.   
Brad: ~twitch~ ~twitch~   
Verie: Anyhow, you all get COSTUMES. So MWAHA.   
Others: ~grumble and go off to get their costumes~ 

_*LATER*_

  
__

  


Schu: Mwuahahaha! I'm a pirate! ~cackles like a rabid squirrel [that laugh. The one he does in the episode where Ouka dies. He sounds like a rabid squirrel. I've probably mentioned this before.]~   
Verie: Yes. Yes you are. And where the hell is Brad? -.-   
Shinigami: You're never going to get him to wear that costume...   
Verie: It's exactly the same as the one the guy wore in the showing of Penzance we saw..   
Shinigami: I know. O.o;   
Jim: Hoe?   
Verie: The Pirate King's costume.   
Jim: .. With the hat?   
Verie: .. no, more like with the shirt. And the pants.   
Jim: .... Aaaah.   
Verie: Yeeeaah. And he's going to wear it if it kills him. ~goes off to find Brad~   
Others: ~follow~ 

_*A Few Seconds Later*_   
__

  


Brad: I am NOT wearing this!   
Verie: And why not? It's not that bad. .. It's actually the best costume here.   
Brad: This is NOT a shirt. It's SLEEVES and a BELT.   
Verie: .. Wait... you're not going to complain about the pants?   
Brad: I'm getting to that.   
Verie: Ah.   
Brad: I am not wearing this.   
Verie: Yes, yes you ARE. It's called FANSERVICE. And there is an incredible LACK of fanservice from your end, therefore, I must remedy that.   
Brad: It DOESN'T NEED TO BE REMEDIED.   
Shinigami: I don't know, it's pretty pathetic how people consider the part where you take off your tie to be fanservice.   
Verie: ... X.x; shut up. It makes me happy.   
Shinigami: See my point?   
Brad: You're all VULTURES.   
Schu: I like the shirt...   
Brad: ... All the more reason for me NOT to wear it.   
Verie: FANSERVICE!   
Brad: NO.   
Verie: Listen, you either shut up and wear your sleeves, or you can go without. That's more fanservice-ee anyway.   
Brad: .. I hate you.   
Verie: And the pants.   
Brad: NO.   
Schu: He doesn't need pants.. ~snickers evilly~   
Brad: ~twitch~   
Yohji: ... Please no. I don't need to see that. >.;   
Schu: No one cares about you.   
Verie: He's got a point.   
Yohji: ... You people have no taste. All of you.   
Jim: Yohji likes you.   
Others: O.o eh?   
Jim: .. Mononoke.   
Ken: wait... there's MORE of you?!   
Verie: OBVIOUSLY! ... But Mononoke scares me.   
Shinigami: She scares everyone.   
Verie: True, that. Anyhow, back on topic.. Brad, you can wear the sleeves and the belt the pants--   
Brad: They're leather.   
Verie: Yes. Yes they are.   
Brad: I REFUSE to wear leather.   
Verie: In which case, I can simply up the rating and you can go without. ^_^ Seeing as how we've already confiscated your suits.   
Brad: . . . I hate you.   
Verie: And you're not getting them back until the chapter's over. ^_^   
Brad: . . . I really hate you.   
Verie: And you're the Pirate King. Who steals men's pants.   
Shinigami: Thus, the Pirates of Men's Pants!   
Brad: ... This was your doing, wasn't it?!   
Shinigami: .. She asked me for help with a plot. ^_^;;   
Brad: I despise all of you.   
Schu: But we knew that.   
Narrator: You've been on over-time ever since everyone went off to get their costumes.   
Verie: I KNOW that. Anyhow, quick plottish stuff... Ken, you're taking the place of Frederick. Because I say so. You were apprenticed to Brad, but your apprenticeship ended, so you ran off to some island, taking your pants with you.   
Ken: .. the heck..?   
Verie: Shut up. It's a plot. The pirates steal pants, and so, since you're not a pirate, you leaving their ship with pants is a bad thing. So you go off to the island, and you take Schu, the stand-in for Ruth, with you.   
Schu: .. Wait... who's Ruth?   
Verie: The piratical-maid-of-all-work.   
Schu: That works.   
Verie: But you get to be a guy in this. Because I don't want to make you cross-dress.   
Omi: Gee, thanks a lot. -.-   
Verie: ^_^;; Anyhow, so Ken runs off, stealing Schu and a pair of pants. And they're on an island. There they meet the a bunch of guys, because in the actual version it's a bunch of women but I'm being nice and not making anyone cross-dress, and start hitting on them. Then they meet the Major General, played by Aya. .. And I shouldn't be giving away the plot. O.o;   
Narrator: No, you shouldn't.   
Verie: ANYHOW! Brad, if you don't cooperate, you have to wear that for the rest of the fic.   
Brad: ~death glare~   
Verie: ... And the fic will go on until Pirates of the Caribbean comes out on DVD.   
Brad: ~twitch~   
Verie: .. And I'll blackmail you into being Jack Sparrow and force you to satchet when you walk.   
Brad: I despise you.   
Verie: ^_^ Now that that's settled... onto the show!   
Shinigami: .. I want Schu to be Jack....   
Verie: ~whispers~ He will be ^_^   
Narrator: OVER-TIME.   
Verie: ~sob~ Shut up!   


  


************************ 

  
Our story takes place on an island, far, far away. (A/N: ... That's quite possibly the stupidest opening line yet. -.-;) 

.. Shut up Verie. Anyhow, this island was inhabited by pirates, and it was a horrible place where pirates would escape to. 

... Think Las Vegas, only piratical. 

"Wait.. .. THERE'S A BAR HERE, ISN'T THERE?!" .. Schuldich, shut up. I'm describing the setting. 

"Bar. Now." 

... To your left. 

"HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!" 

.. Now that he's out of the way... 

Anyhow, so, lurking in a local Baskin Robins, was Ken. Ken wa- 

"... This is NOT a bar." 

Sure it is. It's the closest thing to a bar we can get considering the rating. 

".. A Basking Robins." 

Yep. 

"... I HATE you. What kind of a pirate story is this?!! WHERE'S THE PROSTITUTES?! THE ALCOHOL!! THE BARS FOR THE LOVE OF **_deity deleted to protect the religious_**!!!!!!" 

They've been slightly alterred to protect the rating. Why do you think you're official job title is "piratical-maid-of-all-work" and not **_censored_**? 

"... I'm surprised you didn't change me into the **_censored_** milkman." Schuldich grumbled. 

That can be arranged. 

"**_Censored_** you." 

ANYHOW, if there aren't anymore interruptions, Ken is lurking in a local Baskin Robins. As it turns out, Ken is an unwilling apprentice to a local pirate ship, run by the Pirate King himself. 

For a long time now, Ken has been planning to escape from the pirates, and with the ship finally docked, he sets his plan into action. 

"I'll steal a ship. Along with all the men's pants, because you can never have too many pants, and pants are worth a lot of money."Ken exclaimed. .... Verie, you're on crack. 

(A/N: Hey! Just think of the pants as a form of currency... everyone loves pants.) 

... Riiight. 

"Are you plotting to steal the Captain's pants, Ken?" Schuldich smirked, walking in. 

"What? NO!! Of course not! I would never dream of stealing the Captain's pants! ... **_Censored_** that sounds.. so wrong..." Ken twitched. 

"Hehe... this chapter is amusing. Anyhow, I KNOW you're plotting to steal the Captain's pants. And as the local piratical-man-of-all-work, it's my _duty_ to report you. .. Unless of course, you offer me something I can't refuse." 

"... I'm not certain I want to..." Ken sweatdropped. 

"Well then, it looks as though I'll have to report you to the Captain after all...." 

"Wait!! I'll um.. split the loot with you." 

".. You mean the pants." 

".. Um.. yeah." Ken said nervously. 

". . . That's quite possibly the strangest thing anyone has ever offered me." Schuldich blinked. 

".. And it's the strangest thing I've ever offered someone." Ken responded. 

"Well then... sure, why not. As long as there's more than one pair of pants involved. Because splitting one pair of pants would be horribly strange." Schuldich said. 

".. The entire thing is horribly strange." 

"... True. .. Hey, can we steal pants that people are wearing?!" Schuldich exclaimed. 

".. Don't even think about it." Ken glared. 

"Aaaw.. but c'mon! The Captain hates those pants so much, we'd be doing him a favor..." Schuldich snickered evilly. 

"NO." 

".. You're no fun." Schuldich sighed. 

So, later, while the rest of the pirate band was still out, Ken and Schuldich stole quite a few of the pants (as it turns out, there were too many for them to take on the boat they were planning on stealing), then moved them all to a boat and set off, to escape the pirates. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

_Later, with the pirates..._   
__

"... They're gone. And they took some pants." Crawford, the Pirate King and Captain of the ship said half-heartedly. 

".... **_deity deleted to protect the religious_** laughs." Farfarello said angrily. 

"Brad, if you don't get more in-character you're never seeing a normal shirt again." Verie said, fiddling with the feather on her hat. 

".. And why are you cast in this?" Crawford glared. 

"Because we didn't have enough people to be pirates, and I wanted a spiffy hat with a feather on it." Verie stated simply. 

"PHWEE!" Jim said, bouncing around in her spiffy Nazi/Pirate-boots and playing with a bunch of feathers that were left-over from the making of the hats. 

"We'll get the pants back, or else my name is Miscellaneous-Pirate-Number-Fifty-Six-And-Seven-Tenths!" Verie declared. 

"... Aye." Brad grumbled. 

And so, the pirates took off in a random direction hoping to find the treacherous Ken and Schuldich and get the pants back!! 

~~~~~~~~~   


Meanwhile, Ken and Schuldich had landed on a distant and uncharted island. 

".. This is all YOUR fault!! If you hadn't have dragged me into this, I could be back at the ship plotting to steal the Captain's pants!" Schuldich whined. 

"... STOP SAYING THAT!" Ken whined. 

".. Stop fantasizing!" Schuldich exclaimed indignantly. 

"You're the one who keeps on conjuring up the mental images! I don't WANT to see them!" Ken argued. 

"Suuure. And everyone says I'M the hentai! NOW STOP FANTASIZING!!!!" 

"I'M NOT FANTASIZING! You're purposely inducing bad mental images!!" 

And so, Ken and Schuldich continued arguing, until they saw two boys not to far down the beach. 

"... Oh **_censored_**. ... We have to flirt with... NAGI AND OMI?!" Ken exclaimed. 

"No problem there." Schuldich said, walking off. 

"B-but... I feel like such a pedophile." Ken sighed. 

"That's because you ARE a pedophile." Schuldich stated. 

"I AM NOT!!" Ken exclaimed defensively. 

"Oh yeah, suuure. Mr. Child's Soccer Coach." Schuldich said. 

"..... STOP DOING THAT!!!" Ken screamed, trying to get rid of the bad mental image. 

"Hehe.. you're too easy." Schuldich said, walking up to one of the boys. 

"Why, hello there!" He said suggestively. 

"... Why do I always get stuck with the degrading roles...?" Nagi grumbled. 

"AHEM. Who keeps on having to be the princess?! ME." Omi glared. 

".. I can't hit on Omi. I just can't." Ken whined. 

"Face it, you can't hit on ANYONE. Even when you TRY. .. Because you SUCK." Schuldich said. 

"AHEM." 

Schuldich and Ken looked behind them, to find a very angry looking Major General. 

".. Umm.. hello there." Ken whimpered. 

"Shi-ne." Aya glared at Schuldich. 

"I swear, I didn't touch him officer!" Schuldich exclaimed. 

"Sir, I would like to request permission to marry your son!" Ken said, twitching slightly. 

"I object to having pirates at sons-in-laws!" Aya exclaimed angrily. 

"Well, we object to having a Major-General as a father-in-law, but we're willing to waive that." Schuldich winked. 

Aya looked thoughtful, but then, the Pirate King and his band stormed up! 

"RETURN MY PANTS IMMEDIATELY! ... The pants. That's it. THE pants...." Crawford blinked, muttering something aboud idiotic plot lines. 

"Or else we'll kill you all!" Farfarello added. 

"BWEE!" Verie exclaimed. 

"PHWEE!" 

"NO DA!" 

".. Did I mention I'm an orphan?" Aya asked quickly. 

"Yeah, me too." Nagi said. 

"Me three." Omi added. 

".. But I thought--" Ken started, 

"Shut up." Nagi glared. 

"... Actually, no, no you didn't." Crawford stated. 

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be an orphan?" Aya asked. 

"Actually.... we do." Crawford stated. 

"Really. Then you must know how horribly painful it is." Aya said. 

"We can't kill an orphan!" Verie whined dramatically. 

"Often?" Jimmy asked. 

"No, orphan." Shinigami corrected. 

"It sounds like he's saying 'often' to me." Jimmy said. 

"No, no, I'm saying 'orphan.'" Aya said. 

"It sounds like 'often' to me too, actually." Crawford stated evilly. 

"Well then, I can kill an often just fine." Verie smirked. 

"ORPHAN! I'M AN ORPHAN! O-R-P-H-A-N!" Aya exclaimed. 

"Oh. An orphan." The pirates sighed. 

"We don't kill orphans." Shinigami stated. 

"Because we're all orphans ourselves." Jimmy nodded. 

"Yeah, we're orphans too." Schuldich nodded. 

"All the pirates are orphans, idiot." Brad glared. 

"Well I haven't seen this play." Schuldich pouted. 

"Considering you're all orphans.. I would like to request that you return the pants. Despite the fact that we can't harm you because you're orphans." Brad stated. 

"... No." Ken said. 

The pirates twitched. 

"But..." Jimmy said. 

"No. The pants are OURS." Ken declared. 

".. Well... that sucks." Verie blinked. 

"**_Deity deleted to protect the religious_** is mocking us..." Farfarello grumbled. 

"That he is." Verie agreed. 

"There's no helping it. You four can set up camp here for the night, and I'm going to find someplace very far away from all of you." Brad stated, walking off. 

"... That sucks more." Verie whined. 

"... Phwee." 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

So, that night, Aya went to the ruins near his mansion to repent. 

.. For, he is NOT an orphan. 

".. Actually, I AM." Aya glared. 

But you're not in this. 

"... I see... so, everyone who's not an orphan, is, and the only person who is an orphan, isn't." 

Exactly. 

"... That makes very little sense." Aya grumbled. 

"Haaallooo." Schuldich said, walking in. 

"...." Aya glared. 

"... What're you doing sitting around in some ruin?" Schuldich asked. 

"I'm here to humble myself before the tombs of my ancestors in atonement for the lie I told those pirates." Aya stated. 

".. What lie?" Schuldich blinked. 

"I am... NOT an orphan." Aya stated sadly. 

".. Gee. That sucks." Schuldich blinked. 

".. It does." Aya responded. 

"But these can't really be your ancestors.. because you just bought the place a month ago." Schuldich blinkded, remembering a conversation he had with Nagi a few hours ago. 

"I don't know whose ancestors they are, but I feel I am their descendant by purchase." Aya replied. 

"... Oh. .. Ok. So you're crazy." Schuldich nodded. 

"Pretty much." Aya nodded as well. 

"I'm going to lead an expedition against the pirates at eleven o'clock tonight." Ken spoke up. 

".. And who exactly do you have backing you?" Schuldich arched an eyebrow. 

"The police!" Ken declared. 

".. Oh, well that works then." Schuldich said. 

Little did they all know, the pirates were spying on them from outside. 

".. So wait.. he's NOT an orphan, and they're sending the POLICE after us?!" Verie whined. 

"Shut up, they'll hear you." Crawford glared. 

"But... he's not an orphan!" Verie whined again. 

"They lied! To PIRATES." Jimmy exclaimed. 

"... You're all the sorriest bunch of pirates I've seen, but yes, yes they have." Crawford stated. 

"... No insulting your inferiors." Verie grumbled. 

"Why not?" 

"Because you'll never see your suit again." 

"Fine." Brad grumbled. 

"General Aya is no orphan no da." Shinigami shook her head. 

"More than that, he never was one!" Verie exclaimed. 

"... I'm surrounded by idiots." Brad sighed. 

~~~~~~~~ 

_11:00 That Night..._   
__

"We are now ready to attack the pirates!" Ken declared. 

"Hear hear!" Police Cheif Yohji exclaimed, drinking some more... um.... quite possibly alcoholic beverage. 

"Oh, sure. He gets to drink. But not me! Nooo! No Jagermeister for Schuldich!" Schuldich whined bitterly. 

".. Is it really going to do any good for you to send a drunken Police Chief out against a band of pirates?" Nagi arched an eyebrow. 

"The only pirates we really have to worry about are the Captain and Farfarello." Ken stated. 

"... True." Nagi said. 

"And now, to commence the attack!" Ken declared importantly. 

"If you don't mind, my sons and I will be staying in our house. Where it's safe." Aya stated. 

"... Ok..." Ken blinked, as Aya, Omi and Nagi ventured back to the mansion. 

So Ken, Schuldich, and Yohji ventured out to sneak up on the pirates and kill them. 

However! The pirates were waiting for them! 

"Give us back the pants!" Brad glared. 

"Neeeveeer!" Ken exclaimed. 

"BRADDIE!" Schuldich exclaimed, latching on to Crawford's leg. 

". . . What the **_censored_**??" Crawford blinked. 

"Did I ever mention how he kidnapped me and I really didn't want to leave and I had nothing to do with this at all?" Schuldich asked, looking up at Crawford innocently. 

".. No, no you didn't. And it's a load of **_censored_** anyway." Crawford glared. 

"You know, I can steal your pants from down here." Schuldich snickered evilly. 

". . ." 

"Anyhow, it was all so awful! He threatened me--" 

"I did not!" Ken exclaimed. 

"AHEM. I'm telling the story here. He threatened me and hauled me off to this island and he wouldn't let me go back to you and then the Police Chief started drinking in front of me!" Schuldich sobbed into Crawford's leg. 

"... Get off." Crawford glared. 

Schuldich sobbed louder, and Yohji passed out from drinking too much. 

"... You know what? You're all useless." Ken sighed, glaring at Schuldich and Yohji. 

"Hey, so are we!! Don't leave me out!" Verie exclaimed. 

"... I'm not useless." Jimmy said. 

"Yes you are." Brad stated. 

"No, I just don't like you." Jimmy said. 

"The feeling's mutual. ... Schuldich, get OFF." Brad glared down at Schuldich again. 

"No." Schuldich said, grinning up at Brad. 

".. .You know what? Considering the fact that all of my forces have either defected or are currently passed out, you can have the pants back." Ken sighed. 

"Good. And you can have the German back." Brad stated. 

"What? NO!" Schuldich exclaimed, tightening his grip. 

"That was a really stupid thing to say, Brad." Verie snickered. 

"That's Crawford to you." Brad glared. 

"El Capitan." Verie said. 

Brad muttered something under his breath. 

"Actually, you can keep him. I'm perfectly happy here. ... Bye!" Ken said, running off before anyone could attack him. 

"... I hate you all." Brad grumbled. 

"Wait.. aren't we supposed to be killing the General? .. For lying to us about being an orphan?" Jimmy asked. 

"Technically. But we're not really orphans either." Verie said. 

"But we knew that." Shinigami blinked. 

"Yeah, but we should probably let him off, considering that fact." Verie nodded. 

"... That works then." Jimmy said. 

"... Wait.. we're NOT killing anyone?" Farfarello asked. 

"Nope." Verie stated. 

". . . **_censored_**." Farfarello grumbled. 

".. Schuldich. Let go. NOW." 

"Never!" 

"... I think we should leave them alone now." Verie smirked evilly, dragging Shinigami off. 

"NOOOO! DAAAAA!" 

Jimmy and Farfarello followed. 

"... Hey.. the chapter's over right?" 

".... Apparently." 

".. I CAN STEAL YOUR PANTS NOW!" 

"**_CENSORED_** SCHULDICH!" 

********************   
  
  
  


A/N: 

I'm in a writing rut. So sue me. x.x;; Anyhow.. FINALLY! A CHAPTER! YAY!!!! ... I'm actually not particularly fond of this chapter, but oh well. I'm not particularly fond of anything I write until at least five months after I write it, so that might explain that problem ^_^;;; 

And a few notes on the real Penzance... 

For one thing, the pirates don't attack anyone who's an orphan, so they never get to attack anyone, because everyone knows that they don't attacks orphans, so they just claim to be one themselves. Thus, they're really crappy pirates. 

For another, in the actual play, there's a big thing where Frederick (played by Ken, if you recall) turns 21, so he's no longer apprenticed to the pirates (this is all in the very beginning), so he decides to leave, and the pirates make him take Ruth (Schu). As opposed to him running away and willingly taking Ruth with him. 

Later, it turns out that Frederick was born on leap year, and since the apprenticeship goes by birthday, he's only served 5 of his 21 years. This is when he's forced to tell the Pirate King that Major General Stanley isn't really an orphan. So that's how the pirates find out in the real version ^_^;; 

And then in the end, it turns out the pirates aren't really orphans, but are actually noblemen gone wrong. This is about the point where they're about to kill Major Stanley. ... No, I really have no idea what the hell is up with that either. But oh well. The play didn't make sense, so I found no problem in horribly maiming it for this chapter. 

  
And now on to my normal horribly off-topic rambling!!! 

Did anyone got to Anime Expo this year??? Because I did. And it was fun, but I didn't get to meet anyone. ~sob~ Shinigami and Jimmy were also there. We all cosplayed Fushigi Yuugi. I bet none of you can guess who Shinigami was! (- sarcasm). And I was in desperate need of a haircut (.. I still am. ~sob~ Need... haircut! I haven't had one since like.. January. -.-; Mom won't let me get one because there's "no reason to" because I'm not in school right now. ~grumbles angrily~) 

For anyone who missed it/want to figure out if they saw us: 

And I'm leaving you to guess who's who. MWUAHAHAHAHA. (No really, I want you to guess. :P Note that one of the Miakas isn't part of our group, and that there is only ONE guy in that picture [we get mistaken for guys enough so that I feel I must emphasize this]) Other people involved would be Mononoke Yohji (mentioned in the beginning of the fic because she's evil and NEEDS TO STOP GLOMPING ME!!! .. And Shinigami.), Aya, and Hell (he's the only guy. He's supposed to be Tasuki. Yes, his nickname is from Schreient. We're evil like that.) 

And be afraid of next year. We're all cosplaying from Weiss. .. And a few of us already have most of our costume (.. I'm lacking PANTS. [Pants just seem to be the topic of the day, don't they?] -.- Because it's a men's suit and so the pants don't fit. But everything else is fine. ^_^;; Yes, I'm Brad. Obviously!) 

... And this is a ridiculously long A/N (but when are mine NOT?) , so I'd just like to thank everyone for reviewing! And sorry for the horrible lateness! .. AGAIN. x.x; 

And because I can't go without quoting Bryce... 

"So I said to the guy; 'These aren't my pants!'" 

.. Yes, I've been waiting way to long to do that.   
  



	21. Random Randomness Apologies In Advance

*BACKSTAGE*   


  
  
  
  


Verie: Ok everyone! We're going to attempt to go back to the original plot now!   
Schu: .. Wait.. there was a PLOT?!   
Nagi: I wasn't aware of this.   
Omi: I don't remember a plot...   
Brad: This was pointless from the beginning, there IS NO plot.   
Shinigami: ... da?   
Jimmy: hoe?   
Yohji: Will the plot mess up my hair?   
Ken: Apparently we're returning to the previous plot, so did it then?   
Yohji: .. probably. I don't remember.   
Ken: Neither do I.   
Aya: ... I remember something involving fish...   
Farf: ... Plots make God laugh....   
Verie: .. This would be a lot easier if you all just yelled "THERE WAS A PLOT?!" out in unison.   
Others: THERE WAS A PLOT?!   
Verie: Thankyou. Anyhow, yes, I vaguely remember some form of plot. ... However, I don't remember what it was.   
Jimmy: .. that's really pathetic.   
Verie: it IS.   
Narrator: ... You could always just read the scripts of the previous chapters...   
Blue-Censor-Dot: ~censors out Schu's face~   
Schu: .. I'm NOT amused.   
Blue-Censor-Dot: ~floats there~   
Schu: -.-   
Verie: ... ~blinks at the dot, and then goes back to the Narrator~ Yes, I COULD do that. But WHY? When I can just bullshit through it! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   
Shinigami: ... You've gotten into the Schu-crack again, haven't you no da?   
Schu: ~throws the Dot at the Narrator~ Hey! You have to pay for that just like everybody else!!!   
Verie: -.-; For the last time, I AM NOT ON CRACK!!! .. I don't need it, I act like it without it. >.;   
Schu: .. Wait.. then how do you KNOW about the crack?!   
Yohji: Everybody knows about the crack.   
Schu: Shut up!   
Verie: Schu, obviously.   
Schu: Me?   
Verie: no, other Schu.   
Others (excluding Shinigami, Jimmy and Brad): ... other... Schu? O.o;;   
Brad: I told you the day would come.   
Verie: Shut up, Schu's existed for a long time now. ...and I'm trying to think of any other nicknames she had besides Schu... all I can think of is Witch and Raijin. .. So we'll go with Witch because it's less confusing.   
Ken: .. not really. x.x   
Verie: Quiet, you.   
Shinigami: But he's voiced by Tomokazu Seki no da!   
Verie: -.-; ANYHOW. Yeah, Witch spiked my coffee with Schu-crack, and that's how I know about it all.   
Farfie/Hiei/Atticus/Sailor Mercury/Fuujin/Any other nickname I gave her that I don't remember right now: ~randomly pops up~ You weren't drinking coffee, you were drinking 7up, and you kept on calling it coffee.   
Verie: .. that was an effect of the Schu-crack that Witch spiked it with. Now away! This is confusing enough with three real people! We don't need more!!!   
Farf-Hiei: But it's amusing here. .. For no apparent reason.   
Verie: .. Yes, for no apparent reason indeed. Now away! Away with you!! This is a shonen-ai zone! You don't like shonen-ai! Now off!   
Farf-Hiei: You only say that because you CARE.   
Verie: . . . ~falls over convulsing~ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!   
Schu: Hey, she's got epilepsy too.   
Verie: ~lightbulb~ I'll take away that knife that came with your Clue game!   
Farf-Hiei: You don't know where I put it.   
Verie: . . . True. .... ~grabs a butter knife~ Fetch! ~throws it far, far away. .. Despite the fact I can't throw worth crap. But I'm the author, and I say it went far far away!~   
Farf-Hiei: KNIFE! ~runs off~   
Verie: ... Thank Farfie. -.- Don't need more people. It's confusing enough as it is. Much less REAL people. Real people are scarier than characters.   
Omi: They are. O.o;   
Farf: This hurts God.   
Verie: Anyhow.. no more real people! .. Other than Jim and Shinigami. They can stay.   
Jim&Shinigami: YAY.   
Verie: .. So yes--   
~two people randomly run in and tackle Verie~   
Mononoke Yohji&Kero Ken: BRAD!   
Verie: x.x; the PAIN! THE NEVER CEASING PAAAAIIIIIIIN!!!! GET OFF! GET OFF NOW!!!   
Mononoke: No ^_^   
Verie: .. I hate you all.   
Kero: And we love you! ~drags Verie away~   
Verie: ~screaming bloody murder~   
Others: . . .   
Schu: That's something you don't see everyday.   
Shinigami: What? Verie getting tackled by Mononoke and Kero, or the author getting dragged out of her own fic no da?   
Schu: either/or.   
Shinigami: The former happens fairly often no da. .. As in, everytime they're in the same room together no da.   
Brad: She's gone! She's finally gone!   
Shinigami: I'm just glad it wasn't me this time.   
Jimmy: or me.   
Nagi: What confuses me is that I would expect them to drag one of us away instead of Verie.   
Omi: Quiet, you'll jinx it!   
Others: ~look around in a paranoid fashion, waiting for them to come back~   
Shinigami: Well, since Verie's being emotionally scarred for life and can't write scripts, I hereby declare myself the temporary-stand-in author no da!   
Brad: .. How can you be the author when you're not even the one writing?   
Shinigami: I don't know no da! And I don't care either no da!   
Schu: That works then.   
Shinigami: Anyhow, as my first action as new-Author, I declare that every scene must have a lemon!   
Jimmy: NOOO!!! Not.. suitable.. for... twelve-year-olds!   
Brad: . . . ~falls over convulsing~   
Schu: YAY!   
Others: ~purposely not reacting~   
Brad: ~manages to lower his current status down to twitching~ That doesn't work with the current plot!   
Shinigami: You said there wasn't a plot.   
Brad: .. I changed my mind.   
Nagi: That makes sense.   
Brad: Silence!   
Shinigami: ~hits Brad with a tessen~ No picking on Nagi no da!   
Brad: Hey! >.; I refuse to be attacked by children!   
Shinigami: ~hits Brad again~   
Brad: Stop it!   
Shinigami: Don't make me get my shakujo no da.   
Brad: And let me guess... no one's going to help me at all here.   
Others: YEP!   
Brad: ... I hate you all.   
Farf: This hurts God.   
Shinigami: And the pairings aren't going to change no da. They're going to remain the same each time! Because I say so no da! So this fic is now officially SchuxBrad, AyaxKen, and NagixOmi no da!   
Jimmy: Noooo... no lemons! Noooooo!   
Shinigami: And pants are illegal! MWUAHAHAHAHAHHAHA- ... da.   
Schu: .. I think I'm going to like this. ^_^   
Shinigami: So am I no da!   
Narrator: ... If this goes through, I quit. I don't do pornography.   
Schu: Since when?   
Narrator: Since I realized the cast was entirely men. >.>   
Schu: Biggot.   
Narrator: I'm the only narrator that will work with Verie. However, I'm certain there are plenty of yaoi narrators willing to work with Shinigami on the grounds that Verie doesn't come within 500 yards of them.   
Schu: .. I see.   
Shinigami: Also, I hereby declare Cho Hakkai to be MINE no da!   
Jimmy: ... But you can't have him until Verie's dead... and until all of the best detectives in the world show that you were in no way the cause of her death.   
Shinigami: .. that's a minor set-back, no da. But it's easily over-looked no da.   
Omi: Except.. she's not dead. So her will can't go into effect until she IS dead.   
Shinigami: I don't think Mono-chan saw the will O.o; so Verie's probably dead no da. She was plotting to kill her in order to get Hakkai anyway no da.   
Jimmy: Thus why Verie wrote the will in the first place.   
Brad: ... You children scare me. . Immensely.   
Shinigami: And why are you wearing pants no da?! ~hits Brad again~   
Brad: >.   
~Verie randomly enters, twitching and holding a golf club~   
Schu: O.O ~hides behind Brad~   
Brad: Jesus christ.... -.-   
Farf: ~glares at Brad~   
Brad: ~shuts up~   
Verie: AHEM.   
Shinigami: ... DA. o.o;;   
Verie: One) It takes a lot more than an obsessive Yohji fangirl and her Omi&Ken obsessive friend to kill me, Two) THE RATING! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE RATING?!   
Brad: . . . I have never been so happy to see you in my life. ... And I'm really not that happy at all.   
Verie: ... Riiiight. Anyhow, bad Shinigami. BAD. No cake for you!   
Shinigami: .. but I don't like cake no da.   
Verie: In that case, then you're off the hook.   
Jimmy: ... Wait... the fic's not going to be turned into a lemon anymore?   
Verie: .. No, no it's not. >.>   
Shinigami: You make me sad no da.   
Verie: Another thing: No putting my will into effect until all the required circumstances have been met! >.; That INCLUDES the world's best detectives making sure you had nothing to do with my death, as well as my ACTUALLY BEING DEAD.   
Shinigami: ^_^;;   
Verie: Anyhow, back to trying to remember where we left off at the original plot.   
Brad: Which I still say is non-existant.   
Shinigami: You didn't say that a couple minutes ago no da.   
Brad: ... How many times do I have to tell you to be quiet? >.   
Verie: Leave my teammate alone, she's the only ally I've got. ;_;' The others are all plotting against me.   
Schu: ... Wait.. wasn't she plotting your death not too long ago?   
Verie: Everyone plots my death. That's normal behavior. Anyhow, PLOT PEOPLE! PLOT!!!   
Narrator: ~flipping through the script just because he wants everyone to shut up~ We left off with Crawford and Nagi walking off after not awakening the sleeping Princess Omette.   
Verie: . . .   
Omi: .. I DON'T REMEMBER THAT AT ALL!! ~hyperventilating because he was promised he wouldn't have to be the Princess for awhile~   
Verie: -.-; Relax, I'll still keep my promise-thingie-majigger-whatever-since-when-do-I-keep-my-word-and-why-am-I-still-hyphenating-this-anyway?   
Yohji: . . . so many lines... ~confused~   
Brad: ... They're called hyphens. They're used by people with proper grammar. ... Or, people like Verie, who just enjoy abusing grammar.   
Verie: -.-; Quiet. I LIKE grammar. .. Sorta.   
Brad: See what I mean?   
Verie: ... Grr. Boo. Hiss. ANYHOW. In honor of my new cream-colored-suit-that's-lacking-pants, we will go back to the original plot for at least a little bit of the remainder of this vacation from FF8!   
Brad: ~plotting to burn Verie's suit~   
Verie: . . . Shinigami.   
Shinigami: ~hits Brad with her tessen~ da.   
Verie: ^_^ ~patpat~   
Shinigami: >.; DON'T PAT ME NO DA!   
Brad: -.-   
Verie: Anyhow, so Brad gets to have his Prince Crawford outfit back, and everyone else gets their old costumes back too.   
Omi: ~twitch twitch~   
Verie: ... Except for Omi, who's going to attack me with his genki-darts-of-death if I make him cross-dress again.   
Jimmy: GENKI-DARTS-OF-DEATH! ~throws a blunt dart at Verie~   
Verie: ~gets hit in the head~ . . . yes, those. I remember those. =_= Anyhow.. yes. Brad and Nagi are hereby forced to spend the remainder of the time onstage.   
Brad: --wait, what about the stupid costume thing?   
Verie: .... ~shrug~ Find a good place to change. ~pushes Brad and Nagi onstage~   
Brad&Nagi: WAIT! NOOOOOO-- ~get cut off when they enter the stage area~   
Verie: .. I missed that! ^_^   
Schu: .. Yeah, 'cept I can't spy on Brad anymore. ~pout~   
Verie: . . . We'll fix that.   
Schu: YAY!   
Shinigami: And you claim you keep to the rating.   
Verie: I do, Schu doesn't. .. I just help him not. .... ... ... Um... yeah. x.x Now you've confused me! ~sobs pathetically~   
Shinigami: You confuse easily no da.   
Verie: .. I do. I really do. O.o;;   
Farf: It hurts God.   
Verie: EXACTLY!   
Kero: ~walks in and drags Verie off again~   
Verie: I'M NOT AMUSED, DAMNIT!!!   
Shinigami: . . . ~shrug~ Maybe there's pocky somewhere around here... ~wanders off~   
Jimmy: ... phwee? ~follows~   
Yohji: . . . I'M SO HORRIBLY CONFUSED!   
Mononoke: ~drags Yohji off~   
Yohji: .. wait.. YOU'RE NOT OVER 18!!! ~claws at floor, but gets dragged off anyway~   
Omi: .... HA! I'M SAFE!   
Kero: ~grabs Omi and runs off~   
Nagi: . . . I'm suddenly happy I'm neglected.   
Aya: ... I've said one thing this entire chapter.   
Nagi: . . . Hey. . . I HAD MORE LINES THAN YOU! ~cackles insanely~ YES! I'M LESS NEGLECTED THAN SOMEONE!   
Aya: .. shi-ne.   
  
  
  


**********   


  


A/N: 

... This was a horribly pointless chapter. O.o; oh well. Consider it a day in the life of the author. ... Only with fictional people added in (wait.. who decided Weiss and Schwarz were fictional people?! >.> I didn't condone this decision...) 

Anyhow... I know I've mentioned it in other fics (and probably numerous times in this one), but I'll explain anyway; 

My friend and I are all crazy, psychopathic loons. So we all have Weiss nicknames. Ken and Yohji (Kero and Mononoke) are horribly disturbing, especially when they're in the same room together. They enjoy glomping people. ... Me in particular. I'm scarred for life because of them. 

And then there's Farf, who lives solely to insert "because you CARE" into every conversation I have with her. (I'm not quite certain how to explain why that annoys me, it just does.) 

I could go into what Schu does to drive me insane, but that's a story that's long enough for me to upload as a fic in and of itself. 

And Shinigami (Nagi) has a tendency to glomp me too, but it's not as bad as being glomped by Ken and Yohji, because they have a tendency to start flirting with me and Shinigami doesn't. 

And Aya doesn't talk and owns like.. five plastic katanas, a pirate sword, and two lightsabers. ... It's painful. It really is. X.o 

And the will that was mentioned actually does exist. And Yohji and Shinigami were plotting to kill me in order to get Cho Hakkai. 

.. This would also be a good place to insert a disclaimer about how I don't own any of the characters. Because I don't. 

... But that doesn't stop anyone from claiming them as their own, now does it? (Yeah, you should see my bishounen list... x.O; I'm at like... 800 now...) 


	22. Yohji's Magic Potion Nothing Good Can C...

  
  


*STILL BACKSTAGE (but later)*   


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Verie: .. We had an entire chapter of pointless conversation.   
Aya: If you haven't noticed, that's every chapter.   
Verie: .. Quiet you! >.;   
Shinigami: . . . Brad's not here for me to hit anymore no da...   
Verie: .... Hit Omi.   
Jimmy: NOOOO!!!   
Shinigami: Ok! ~hits Omi with her tessen~ da!   
Omi: ow X.o   
Shinigami: .. it's not the same no da. ~sigh~   
Verie: .. That's too bad. O.o;   
Shinigami: ~hits Verie with her tessen~ .. that makes me feel better no da!   
Verie: . . . You're cruel.   
Shinigami: You say that like it's a bad thing no da.   
Verie: .. True, that. .. Anyhow, we're going to go right to the plot now! Because we spent an entire chapter ranting!   
Yohji: YOU spent an entire chapter ranting, rather.   
Verie: .. Quiet, you!   
  
  
  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  


"Have they started the chapter yet?" 

"No." 

".. Have they started the chapter yet?" 

"... No." 

"... Have they started the chapter yet?" 

"... If you say that one more time..." 

"Has the chapter started yet?" 

"**_Censored_** Nagi..." 

"Is that a 'no?'" 

"Yes. Yes it IS a 'no.'" 

"Ok. ... Has the chapter started yet?" 

". . . What did I say about asking me that?!" 

Back with our Prince and the random step-in side-kick, things were boring. Horribly boring. 

In fact, they were sitting there uselessly. Crawford glaring at Nagi, and Nagi asking stupid questions. 

"Hey, you were wrong, Crawford! The chapter HAS started!" Nagi exclaimed triumphantly. 

"... Apparently it has. .. Finally. You people are aware he's been doing this for the past two hours?!" Crawford demanded. .. .That's too bad. 

"... **_Censored_** you, Narrator." Crawford glared at absolutely nothing. 

... You are aware, Crawford, that Narrators are omnipotent. 

". . . I think you actually did mention that before, yes." 

... That's what I thought. ANYHOW. After the whole Omette thing (which, if you didn't know, is where the plot magically disintegrated), Brad and Nagi were forced to wander aimlessly around the magical fairy tale world. 

". . . Actually, after the whole Omette thing, was **_Religious holiday deleted_**..." Nagi stated logically. Because he needs to shut up because we're returning to the plot! 

"Ok, fine." Nagi said. 

Anyhow, Schuldich needs to hurry up and get on-stage because he's in this. 

"I am?" Schuldich blinked, magically walking on-stage. Yes, yes you are. 

"Amazing." He blinked. 

Anyhow, now that our main characters are assembled, they decided to set off in a random direction. And yes, it was absolutely necessary for me to randomly change tenses in that sentence. 

".. Your grammar makes me cringe." Brad stated, before grabbing the map and wandering off. 

"Except no one cares." Schuldich said, following. 

And Nagi just decided to remain silent. He's good at that. 

So our dynamic trio wandered around, until they came to a small stand that was apparently selling something drinkable. 

"Is it beer?" Schuldich asked hopefully, once again being a moron. 

"**_Censored_** you, Narrator." Schuldich mumbled, before being hit in the face by a magic rock. 

"OW!" 

".... Schuldich, leave the Narrator alone." Brad sighed, blinking at the stand. 

"Heeellooooo, my good sirs! Would you like to buy a magic potion?" A person played by Yohji asked. 

". . . That depends entirely on what it does and how much it costs." Brad stated irritably. 

".. It's magic. .. And.. would you like a free sample?" Yohji suggested. 

"Not until I know what it does." Brad glared. 

".... But it's a free sample!" Yohji exclaimed. 

"I wan' one!" Schuldich exclaimed, jumping up and down. 

". . . Ok." Yohji stated, giving Schuldich a small cup of miscellaneous liquid. 

"... It doesn't smell alcoholic." He sighed pathetically. 

"But it's magic. Magic's better than alcohol. .. Believe me." Yohji nodded. 

"Really?" Schuldich blinked, drinking the sample. Crawford stared at him in scrutiny. 

"... He's not changing random colors... that's a good sign..." He stated. 

"You wouldn't be able to tell with Schuldich." Nagi said. 

"... What's that supposed to mean?!" Schuldich demanded. 

"... Actually, I'm not entirely certain." Nagi blinked. 

"And he's not dead. Which is a pity." Brad said. 

"Braaaadleeeeey! I thought you loved me!" Schuldich sobbed, latching on to Brad's foot. 

". . . Get off." Brad glared. 

"It's fun down here." Schuldich grinned. Brad continued glaring. 

"I can give you a potion that will get him off." Yohji nodded. 

".. How exactly would it go about doing that?" Brad asked skeptically. 

".. Magic." Yohji stated. 

"... I'd figured that much." Brad grumbled. 

"Well what more do you want me to say?!" Yohji demanded. 

"Oh, c'mon, Crawford. It won't kill you. You're the main character." Nagi stated. 

"I don't want to turn red either." Brad grumbled. 

"I sincerely doubt that will happen." Nagi rolled his eyes. 

". . . If you're so confident, you drink it." Brad glared. 

"Fine. It's not like the author could do anything really bad to me, anyway. My fangirls would kill her." Nagi said, grabbing a free sample of potion and drinking it. 

"Hn." Brad grumbled, taking another free sample and drinking it. Schuldich let go of his leg. 

". . . Wait. . . it _worked?_" Brad blinked in confusion. 

". . . I got bored. You were ignoring me." Schuldich sighed. 

Brad blinked some more. 

"I told you. Magic." Yohji nodded. 

". . . And I haven't turned red yet?" Brad blinked, looking himself over. 

"You're not red." Nagi rolled his eyes again. 

". . . This is strange. And disturbing." Brad stated. 

"Why, nothing bad happened?" Nagi asked. 

"EXACTLY." 

". . . You're paranoid." Nagi said, walking off. 

"You would be too if you had my job." Brad grumbled, following. 

". . . This is unfair. The kid got more attention than me! I DON'T WANT TO BE NEGLECTED!" Schuldich whined. 

"Ha!" Nagi exclaimed happily. 

"Knock off, Chibi!" Schuldich exclaimed. 

And so our heroes departed, off to find someplace to camp out for the night. 

... Well, technically Schuldich will just be going backstage, but that's not the point....   


**************   


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A/N: 

(the following is Verie and Shinigami on the phone) 

Verie: So yeah... I'm trying to go back to the original plot.   
Shinigami: . . . it was something involving Brad as a prince, right?   
Verie: . . . Yeah.   
Shinigami: ... I don't remember anything else.   
Verie: Yeah, no one does. 

(end scene) 

.. yeah, I called her after writing the previous chapter where everyone was ranting about not remembering the plot, and I was just horribly amused by the fact she really didn't remember it. >.> Except.. that's not a good thing... x.x; 

But yeah... be happy! We're kind of back to the plot! And sorry for yet another pointless chapter, but it kind of has a point.... .. sorta... O.o; you'll just have to wait and see. I do have an actual plot for the next chapter, but I had to write the potion thing as an excuse for what's going to happen... because... ... yeah.   
  



	23. The Neko King! MWUAHAHAHAHA!

  
  
  


Verie: So, can anyone guess today's plot? ^_^   
Jimmy: It's the--   
Verie: OTHER THAN SOMEONE WHO ALREADY KNOWS.  
Jimmy: ;_; phwee.   
Schu: Not really. I can however guess that Brad's going to be massively pissed off at you.   
Verie: ... When is he not? >_>   
Schu: ... Why do I have fox ears and a tail again?   
Verie: The plot.   
Schu: ... And it's absolutely necessary for me to be chibi?   
Verie: In the beginning, yes. >_>   
Schu: ... great. -_- I don't mind the ears and tail and everything, but being shorter than everyone is freaky.   
Verie: I'm sure it is. I wouldn't know, however.   
Schu: Shut up. -_-   
Brad: ~runs in~ YOU!!!!!!! ~points accusingly at Verie~   
Verie: ... ~blink~ How'd you get in here?   
Nagi: ~twitch~ The Narrator let us in.   
Verie: ;_;   
Brad: YOU MADE ME SHORT!!!   
Verie: Correction. I made you Chibi.   
Brad: ~glare~ EXPLANATION. NOW.   
Verie: You have to be little for the beginning of the new chapter. The ears and tail are also necessary.   
Brad: ~death glare~   
Verie: =^.^= Neko neko wai!   
Brad: ~tackles Verie~ 

**_This Scene Has Been Deleted Due To Excessive Violence, Please Stand By While Appropriate Measures Are Taken._****__**

Shinigami: Now that we're back from the hospital and the veterinarian no da....   
Verie: ~covered in bandages~ itai... x_x   
Schu: Kitten's got claws. ^_^   
Nagi: You mean had...   
Verie: Shut up, both of you. ~_~   
Narrator: That was more amusing than I'd previously expected.   
Verie: I hate you.   
Brad: If you *ever* take me back to that place...   
Verie: Ahem, *I* wasn't the one who had you declawed. ... I'm the one who ordered it, but I didn't take you there. SINCE I WAS BLEEDING PROFUSELY. ~death glare~   
Brad: That makes me feel slightly better.   
Verie: The part about me bleeding to death.   
Brad: Obviously.   
Nagi: ~fidgets with his rabbit ears~   
Schu: Why are we the only ones who've been turned into animal people?   
Verie: Haven't decided the rest of the cast yet. And the animals you got turned into were random, so don't whine about it.   
Nagi: .. I'm a rabbit... ;_;   
Shinigami: ... If it were random, Brad wouldn't be neko no da...   
Verie: . . . Random being whatever the hell I want everyone to be.   
Shinigami: That's what I thought. -_-   
Verie: Consider it a salute to Halloween. Black cats and all. I'm happy, I get to celebrate a ton of crap all in one chapter!   
Omi: What exactly IS this chapter, anyway?   
Verie: It's a pre-Halloween special, a celebration for my finally getting the doujinshi where Brad randomly goes neko for two panels, a celebration of my friend finding a Chibi Neko Brad cosplayer at Yaoi Con, and a salute to the Lion King coming out on DVD. ^_^   
Nagi: .... Most of those aren't even logical things to celebrate.   
Verie: Anything involving Brad + cat ears is worthy of being a national holiday.   
Schu: Does that mean we can celebrate you getting maimed by Brad with cat ears?   
Verie: . . . -_- No.   
Schu: Take all the fun out of it why don't you...   
Verie: Anyhow, let's start, before Brad's claws randomly grow back or some strange impossible thing like that. >_   
Narrator: ha ha...   
Verie: Shut up. >_ 

********************* 

"... Great, now I'm short, part cat, declawed and LOST." Brad muttered irritably. 

"I'm not too happy about this either." Mufaya stated. 

".... Fujimiya. And what exactly is your role in all this?" Brad frowned, noticing that Mufaya wasn't chibi (although he did have cat ears and a tail). 

"As your father, I suggest you go over to that nice shadowy place that will surely lead you to your death." Mufaya said, completely screwing up the whole plot. 

". . . Why do we always wind up with scripts that involve my having to have a parent?" Brad grumbled. 

Because Princes normally have at least one parent. 

"Feh." 

"And you're not listening to me." Mufaya grumbled. 

"I'm not supposed to. Sadly, I _have_ seen this movie." Brad glared. 

"Fine then, _don't_ go over to the shadowy place that once I die you still won't be in control of." Mufaya stated. 

". . . Then I won't." 

"... Shi-ne." 

.... This plot is going to go nowhere. 

"Braddie, we're furthering the plot." Schuldich stated, grabbing Brad's collar and dragging him off. 

"... I hate you." 

"Oh, and take Nagi with you." Mufaya stated, shoving Nagi after them. 

"Oh, sure, give me the part as the abused character..." Nagi muttered. 

Hey, we skipped the scene were you get eaten by Scar. 

". . . Wonderful." Nagi muttered sarcastically, following Schuldich and Brad. 

**************** 

"Aren't we supposed to be ditching Nagi?" Schuldich asked. 

"What we're supposed to be doing, and what we do, are two completely different things." Brad stated. 

"That's nice to know. I'd rather not get sat on by a rhinoceros." Nagi muttered. 

It's ok, Verie couldn't find someone to play that part. 

". . . Yay." Nagi sighed. 

"Hello and welcome to creepy shadowy place we weren't supposed to go to!" Schuldich announced. 

"Wonderful." Brad grumbled. 

"You know what.... how come, when I'm supposed to be older than all of you, I'm still chibi?" Nagi asked. 

"Because otherwise you'd be taller than us. And you're a rabbit. So it wouldn't make sense. As it is, we're all about the same height, which is confusing as **_censored_**." Schuldich stated. 

"... I hate this." 

"As do we all." Brad responded. 

"I'm foxy." Schuldich smirked. 

"That you are!" Some voices said from the shadows. Our three heroes froze in terror, or confusion. ... either one works, as three dog-people stepped out of the shadows. 

"Tch. You'd think Verie would find something somewhat scarier than you three." Brad stated to Shinigami, Jimmy and Hannah. 

"Hey, we requested these parts!" Jimmy said. 

"... That's even sadder." 

"Perhaps, but we're bigger than you no da. Because we're not chibi." Shinigami smirked. 

"And, we're rabid fangirls!" Hannah exclaimed. 

". . . I. . . see. . ." Brad paused slightly, having a very bad feeling about this. 

"NEKO NEKO WAAAAAAIIIII!!!!" Hannah exclaimed, lunging at Brad, just as Jimmy launched herself at Nagi and Shinigami launched herself at Schu. 

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" And thus, our heroes desperately tried to retreat, with the rabid fangirls hot on their heels. 

However, they were soon cornered. 

"Hey Brad, hiss at them. Maybe they'll go away." Schuldich suggested, Brad glared at him. "... Just a suggestion." 

"Mwuahahahaha!! (no da)" The three rabid fangirls exclaimed evilly, advancing. 

"SHI-NE!" 

The fangirls jumped in shock, knowing full well who must be standing behind them. They promptly ran in terror, preferring not to get caught and beaten up such as would happen if the movie were being followed more closely. 

". . . I honestly wish I weren't short." Brad grumbled, walking past Mufaya. 

"You're grounded." Mufaya stated. 

".... Shut up." 

And with that they left the evil shadowy place. 

"Nagi, haul Schuldich off somewhere else." Mufaya said. 

"Whatever..." Nagi said, walking off with Schuldich. 

"Anyhow, as I said, you're grounded. For life." Mufaya said. 

"I honestly don't care." 

"I honestly don't either, but that's not the point." 

And with that, there was silence. 

.... You know, there's supposed to be a big touching father/son type scene going on here. 

"NO." Mufaya and Brad state in unison. 

.... Well, you two are useless. 

"Shi-ne." 

***********************   


"Stupid Mufaya... I ALMOST got to glomp Brad..." Hannah sighed. 

"I blame you no da." Shinigami said. 

"Hey, it's all your fault!" Hannah exclaimed. 

"How no da?" 

"... I'm still thinking about that." 

"... Riiiight. ... No da." 

"If Mufaya were chibi, it wouldn't have mattered." Jimmy sighed. 

"Chibi and declawed." Hannah added. 

"Yeah." Jimmy agreed. 

"Surely it's not that bad." Scar stated, magically appearing. 

"Farf!" They exclaimed in surprise. 

"Hehe.... **_Deity deleted to protect the religious_** weeps." Scar grinned. 

"... There's a casting that was overly predictable no da." Shinigami stated, Scar shrugged. 

"Did you bring pocky?" Jimmy asked. 

"... Why would I bring Pocky?" Scar blinked. 

"... Because.... it hurts **_deity deleted to protect the religious_**?" 

"... You learn quickly." Scar said, throwing Jimmy a box of Pocky. 

"Phwee!" 

"Wait, why don't we get one?" Hannah asked. 

"You don't deserve it." Scar said simply. 

"Hey, why not no da?!" 

"Because, I gave you a perfectly good opportunity to get rid of those three and you couldn't even do that." Scar glared. 

"Wait... what would happen to them if they were 'gotten rid of' and why are we trying to do that?" Hannah blinked, stealing some Pocky, receiving a glare from Jimmy. 

"... You'd be free to do whatever you want with them, as long as they're out of my way. And we're trying to get them out of my way because then I will be the only member of Schwarz, and as the only member of Schwarz, all Schwarz fans will therefore be my fans. And as my fans, I can raise them up into a **_deity deleted to protect the religious_**-hurting army!" Scar declared. 

"... Oh. ... Ok." Hannah blinked. 

"... Spiffy!" Jimmy said, enjoying the prospect of having Schuldich and Nagi living in her house. 

"... Hey, aren't you supposed to sing now no da?" Shinigami blinked at Scar. 

".... ... Singing hurts **_deity deleted to protect the religious._**" Scar smirked. 

... Cue scene transition! 

****************** 

"Crawford, I have a surprise for you!" Scar said enthusiastically. 

". . . Farfarello." Brad said, irritated that he'd once again ran into someone much taller than him. 

"Hehehe..." 

"... I dislike surprises, even though I already know what's going to happen... but I dislike it as well." Brad stated. 

"Don't make me duct tape you to the rock." Scar said. 

"... You're more amusing when you're incoherent." Brad sighed. 

"Or I could use a knife..." 

"I'M STAYING." Brad glared. 

"Wonderful!" Scar walked off. 

Brad muttered incoherently, probably plotting someone's demise. 

Also, as a note, Verie would like to mention that she is not liable for any injuries/actual deaths caused by the making of the next scene. 

"... ... Wait... exactly how are we mak--" Brad trailed off, as the ground began to shake. He looked over his shoulder and realized that just about every large animal Verie owned (and some she didn't), were currently running at him. 

". . . **_CENSORED._**" 

And with that, he started running like **_scary hot place_**, because you would to if you just realized that Verie's four horses, five sheep, three emus, and quite a few more horses, goats, donkeys, and cows that were stolen from unidentifiable sources were running straight at you at full-speed. 

Verie would also like to mention that it hurts like **_censored_** to be stepped on by a horse. This is apparently to create drama for those who don't realize just how scary it would be to be chased by all these things. 

And now, we shall leave Brad to run for his life from a stampede of random farm animals, in order to have a convenient scene transition, to create MORE drama! 

"**_CEEEEEEEEEEEENSOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**" 

******************** 

Back at the all-important-rock, Mufaya and Nagi were having a useless conversation, when Scar ran up melodramatically. 

"There's a stampede! And Brad's down there! .. Hehe... **_deity deleted to protect the religious_** weeps..." Scar snickered. 

". . . I'm supposed to act shocked and worried, aren't I?" Mufaya said. And yes, you are. 

"But I'm not." 

I see that. 

"But I'll go anyway, just because I won't have to do anything after this." Mufaya said, and so the group set off to save Brad! ... Or not... 

************ 

Meanwhile, Brad was clinging to a tree branch. 

"I would like to know... why... exactly... did this have to be the only scene where I get attacked that ISN'T HORRIBLY UNDER FUNDED AND LAME?!" Brad exclaimed irritably. 

Well, for one, it's still horribly under funded. And for two, it's still rather lame. 

"Try it from this end." Brad hissed. 

No thanks. Anyhow, the reason, I'm assuming, is for the sake of... 

DRAMA! 

"... I'd say something about wanting you to die, but I realized that you have the power to just go and say 'and the branch broke' and make that happen. So I will refrain." 

Good boy. 

"... Don't push me, Narrator." 

"Having fun, Crawford?" Nagi said, magically flying over with his ears (because all rabbit people can fly with their ears. Obviously.) 

"... Shut up. Just.. shut up." Brad glared. 

"You know... you'd be able to grip the branch easier if you hadn't had to be declawed before we started." Nagi stated. 

"That thought had occurred to me already." Brad responded acidly. 

"Just mentioning. Bye bye." And with that... the rabbit boy flew off... ... this is... so... weird... 

Anyhow, since Verie's too lazy to steal a large amount of random farm animals, the stampede finally ended a few minutes later, and Brad let go of the tree branch and fell safely to the ground. 

"... ... I now understand how horribly lame that really was." 

There was a loud thump, and Brad looked over to the side to see Mufaya sitting on a green high-jump mat (most probably stolen from Verie's old school). Mufaya stood up, and walked offstage, completely unharmed. 

". . . I'm suddenly very annoyed that I had to go through all that, just so he could jump ten feet onto a stolen high jump mat and walk away." Brad glared. 

Yeah, it's funny how that works. 

And so, Brad walked off, skipping Scar's lines. 

"I'm looking forward to getting this over with, particularly the parts where I have to be short." 

Ah, well there you have it. Luckily, the scene was already ruined anyway. 

"Well, it's not like I could push Aya off a cliff into stampeding farm animals..." Verie said, dragging the high jump mat offstage so she could return it to her junior high school before they noticed it was missing. 

************* 

"And so, as the sole remaining member of Schwarz--" 

"Hey, wait a second... what about me?!" Schuldich exclaimed. 

"And me." Nagi stated. 

"I'm going to deal with you two later." Scar stated simply. 

"... Your plan is rather flawed..." Nagi said. 

"Do you want me to sic the fangirls on you two?!" Scar exclaimed. 

"NO." 

"Very good. As I was saying, as the sole remaining member of Schwarz..." 

************ 

Meanwhile, Brad was randomly sitting out in the middle of nowhere, as he had gotten lazy and didn't feel like walking anymore. 

"Heeeeeellooooooooo!" Yomon and Kenbaa greeted. 

". . . . . . A ferret person and. . . . what exactly are you supposed to be?" Brad stated, eyeing Kenbaa. 

"A pig." 

"... That's... rather amusing, actually." 

"Shut up, at least I'm not short." Kenbaa said. 

"... That's a low blow." Brad glared. 

"If it were any higher, it would go over your head." Yomon snickered. 

"There's the pot calling the kettle black, Kudou. You're short too." 

"Yes, but I'm cool and short." Yomon smirked. 

"... Keep telling yourself that." Brad said. 

"You know, I could storm off and refuse to further the plot and you could be stuck like this for all eternity." Yomon said. 

". . . . . . I hate you all." Brad grumbled, getting up and following Yomon and Kenbaa to a random oasis. 

"Ahem, and now is our cue to--" 

"Wait, wait.... two conditions.... one: No singing. What-so-ever. Two: No bugs." Brad stated. 

"... This would be more fun if you hadn't seen the movie." Yomon said. 

"It would be more 'fun' for me if I weren't involved. And yet.. I am. And I refuse to suffer through anyone singing." 

"But.. it's such a catchy song..." Yomon sighed. 

"ESPECIALLY not catchy songs." 

"... You're no fun at all." 

"I try." 

And so, Brad grew up, ruining everything considered fun for Kenbaa and Yomon. 

************ 

Meanwhile, Nagi was being forced to amuse Scar by singing. 

"Because singing hurts **_deity deleted to protect the religious_**." 

".... I'm always the abused one. ALWAYS." Nagi grumbled. 

*************** 

"Are you happy? You're tall now." Yomon muttered bitterly. 

"Yes, yes I am actually. And you're still short." Brad said. 

"I'd noticed." Yomon grumbled. 

"And you're still a pig." Brad said to Kenbaa. 

"And you're a jerk." Kenbaa responded. 

"Perha-GAH!" Brad was interrupted when he was suddenly tackled by an all-too familiar kitsune. 

"Didja miss me?" Schu smirked, pinning Brad. 

"... Not particularly, no." 

"That's too bad, kitten, because I'm baaaack! MWUAHA! And also, no longer chibi." Schuldich grinned. 

"... Wonderful." Brad muttered sarcastically. 

"And now... we get to sing and be fluffy!" Schuldich snickered, dragging Brad off by his tail. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NO SINGING!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF **_DEITY DELETED_**, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Brad exclaimed, clawing at the ground. Sadly, he's been declawed, so that did him little good. 

Meanwhile, Yomon and Kenbaa fell over laughing. 

Today's lesson, children: don't be a jerk, because you'll be tackled, have someone drag you off by your tail, and be subjected to awful singing. 

************** 

And so, afterwards, Brad had finally managed to get away from Schuldich and his awful singing, and was now wandering around aimlessly muttering random expletives under his breath. 

Then, Omiki popped up out of nowhere, and hit Brad in the head with a stick. 

"OW! What the--?! What was that for?!" Brad demanded. 

"It was in the script. And all my parts up till now were cut out, and so, I figured that was a good place to start." Omiki said. 

(A/N: Hehe... Omi looks like Zidane. XD Monkey boy!) 

.... That's... nice, Verie. We really don't care. 

(A/N: Quiet, no one asked you.) 

You're messing up the scene. 

(A/N: fine, fine... I'm leaving...) 

Good. 

"Let's start again." Omiki said, whacking Brad in the head with the stick again. 

"STOP THAT!" Brad exclaimed, grabbing the stick and snapping it in two. 

"Aaaw.. you broke the stick." Omiki said. 

"What's the meaning of all this?!" Brad demanded. 

"The meaning of all this? You mean.. the life, the universe and everything?" 

"Actually no--" 

"It's forty-two." Omiki interrupted. 

". . . I'm not going to ask." 

"I'm supposed to be eccentric." Omiki explained. 

"I'm.. sure... I'm just.. going to go.. far... away now..." Brad blinked, taking a few steps back, before turning and walking away quickly. 

"Well, that was actually rather amusing." Omiki said. 

************** 

"Hey, has anyone seen Brad?" Schu asked, walking up to Kenbaa and Yomon. 

"Luckily, no." Yomon stated. 

"Aaw... now I can't annoy him..." Schu sighed. 

"He went that way." Omiki said, randomly popping up again and pointing in the direction Brad went with his half-a-stick. 

"... Hehehe, danke." Schuldich said, running off in the direction the monkey-boy was pointing. 

************* 

And so, Brad returned to the all-important-rock, to confront Scar. 

"Ahem, Farfarello." He stated, walking up to Scar. By the way, Crawford, it would probably work better if you called him Scar for the time being. 

"I refuse to call anyone 'Scar.'" Brad stated. 

Fine, be that way. 

"Farfarello, since this chapter is nearly over and I'm heavily looking forward to getting rid of this stupid tail; I'll buy you a new knife set once we get out of this if you'll just get off of this rock for the time being." Brad stated. 

"... Ok." Scar said, walking off the rock, only to be confronted by the rabid fangirls. 

"Wait wait wait... I thought we got to keep Nagi, Schu and Brad no da?" Shinigami asked. 

"Yeah!" Jimmy and Hannah exclaimed. 

Scar shrugged. "Plan's changed." 

". . . Well, I'm not leaving without a catboy." Hannah said. 

"Phwee." 

"No da." 

"Let's glomp him!" 

"NOOOO!!! **_Deity deleted_** laughs at glomping!" 

And with that, the inu-fangirls launched themselves at Scar, and glomped him. 

And thus... our story was resolved in a... some-what peaceful manner. .... O... kay.... 

"And I can be returned to norma--GAH!" 

"Haaalloooo, kitten!" Schuldich exclaimed, tackling Brad again. 

"Stop calling me that!!! And get off of me!" 

"Hehe... think of all the things we can do with that tail." Schuldich grinned evilly, dragging Brad off again. 

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" 

"... Ever notice how every chapter anymore ends some-what like that?" Nagi asked. 

"Yeah, but does it matter?" Omi replied. 

"Not particularly." Nagi said. 

**************   
  
  
  
  
  


A/N: 

Yeeeaah.. I'm horribly late. But I didn't want to post until I had a chapter with some actual content to make up for my... random.. ranting... chapter... o_O; Which still kind of scares me. So I'll apologize again for it's uselessness. ~sweatdrop~ 

And here's a screwed up little version of the Lion King. ~cough~ Disney would be... ... actually, Disney would probably be pissed off and sue me. I don't blame them. ^_^;;; 

The end's screwy, though. O_o; Not just because Schu's making random innuendos involving tails, but more because Farf's so easily bribed. But Farf's weird throughout the chapter. Maybe he's taken too much medication or something (or, potentially, not enough? o_O;) 

Anyhow, happy Halloween everyone, in the entirely likely even that I don't update again before then. o_O; I'm going to attempt to get up another chapter before this fic turns a year old, so I can get up a random intermission for that. ^_^ I'm looking forward to it. 

.... I had something in mind for the next chapter, and yet... I now forget what it was. o_o; Scheisse. I'll remember, really. >_> Or, at the very least, I'll go through all my Disney movies until I find something. XD 

  



End file.
